Shove 'em

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

16 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

One trusts you might run into Ethan somewhere in the glorified ore mine that is WA and impart some of your provincial wisdom upon him.Perth seems to have given him delusions of social adequacy.

39 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

Will one of your fine servants be chauffeuring you and the missus in the 4WD Rolls? If not, you may want to contact Demonland's very own Westralian frog. I hear he's a terrific driver and loves a jolly good flogging. Safe travels Uncle, make sure you turn your watch back 30 years

27 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Will one of your fine servants be chauffeuring you and the missus in the 4WD Rolls? If not, you may want to contact Demonland's very own Westralian frog. I hear he's a terrific driver and loves a jolly good flogging. Safe travels Uncle, make sure you turn your watch back 30 years

if he does cross paths with the Frog i can only hope he reverses over the same path to be sure .

Edited June 18, 20187 yr by Biffen

14 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

I will send a warning to the wineries in Margaret River.

On 6/14/2018 at 4:13 PM, hemingway said:

Don't worry, just buy a nice bunch of bananas for your physical and emotional well-being. 

However, you could further indulge.

Perhaps try watching some repeats of Bananas in Pyjamas. 

You could take the opportunity to improve your knowledge on the banana.  Its nouns, adjectives, synonyms, derived terms, foreign language meanings, pronunciation, racial significance, freudian relevance etc. There is also the banana's significance as a figure of speech, its allegorical meanings, not to forget its relevance as a metaphor or analogy.  Really a limitless subject. 

Just think Red of all that time you will have researching, talking about and writing about bananas. Engage your analytical mind.

You don't need to worry about footy or searching for salacious stories contained in case law and the ratio decidendi or obiter dicta of your extensive law library.  We have enough salacious [censored] bits from other posters on this thread. That just lowers the standard and of course the tone. Wrong side of the tracks and all that. 

 

Ernie, I think a Freudian slip has engaged the auto censor, tidbits may be what you were looking for. Uncle B on the other hand would no doubt be thinking TlTS

17 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

Uncle, sounds like you are traveling with your friend Alter Ego.  

Don't bother with the selection process, just take a sack of money, you will need it. Remember, they will not have seen a photo of you. 

In case all goes pear shaped, take a bunch of bananas for entertainment. May also come in handy if you get lost in the never never. 

Oh, one more thing, you better make sure they have motorized buggies for your "trek."

 

17 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Greetings lawyers and other ne'er do wells.

Your good old Uncle is heading orf to Westralia tomorrow, followed by a trekking adventure to Darwin.

I shall be avoiding scat throwers in Freemantle and attempting to turn Demon frogs into road kill.

The maid shall remain at The Manor, so no doubt I will be inundated with beautiful women hoping to accompany me.

Be assured I shall put them through an arduous selection process.

uncle, you will need to check with the the department of agriculture and food, western australia's (dafwa) quarantinewa service regarding your fungal infection. would hate to see you turned back at the border

are you taking your favourite demonland hitch hiker?

I must say I was quite chuffed by all the above encouragement .It resulted in a very emotional discharge 

Trawled through a few pubs last night. Must say there was a surprising number of drunks and derros about the place. I would usually thrash such types but I considered that Ethan may have been one of them and demonstrated considerable restraint 

re your queries dc

No “Special” guests.

I had considered WA’s quarantine laws and thus wrapped my offending pinkies in glad wrap pre flight. Nevertheless I was approached by a sniffer dog at the airport. Oddly the poor beast had some form of convulsion and began foaming at the mouth. Fatigue I suppose 

Is there some sort of pervert festival on in Perth that I don’t know about? 

Edited June 19, 20187 yr by Ethan Tremblay

1 hour ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Is there some sort of pervert festival on in Perth that I don’t know about? 

you do cut to the chase admirably, ethan

2 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Is there some sort of pervert festival on in Perth that I don’t know about? 

 

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

you do cut to the chase admirably, ethan

Are you [censored] implying something?

3 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Is there some sort of pervert festival on in Perth that I don’t know about? 

Maybe you've been banned from it, a result of being too perverted?

Hard to believe Uncle Bitter would get a gig though....

4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I must say I was quite chuffed by all the above encouragement .It resulted in a very emotional discharge 

Trawled through a few pubs last night. Must say there was a surprising number of drunks and derros about the place. I would usually thrash such types but I considered that Ethan may have been one of them and demonstrated considerable restraint 

re your queries dc

No “Special” guests.

I had considered WA’s quarantine laws and thus wrapped my offending pinkies in glad wrap pre flight. Nevertheless I was approached by a sniffer dog at the airport. Oddly the poor beast had some form of convulsion and began foaming at the mouth. Fatigue I suppose 

Not fatigue, just a dog with good taste and high standards of hygiene. 

I find that in SA and WA, locals, including dogs, are very wary of Mexicans . 

Uncle, I would be a little more concerned about Crocs, who have no such reservations, and indeed drool at the prospect of dining on "well nourished"" white folk from down south. Although, occasionally, even Crocs have exceptions, and will draw the line when confronted with malodorous excessively fleshy victims.   

I'm off to the new training oval.

4 minutes ago, Redleg said:

I'm off to the new training oval.

You do have an exciting life Red.

You are very droll, goes with the profession.

Either adjective or verb.  

When did Rance switch codes?

 

He clearly slipped over on a banana skin. 

Just visiting some so called tourist attraction 

Roti Island or some such. Bah! Poor coffee. Worse food! And if that’s not bad enough the place is infested with giant rodents trying to purloin one’s shitty lunch

Gave the ringleaders a jolly good whacking   That taught the beggars some respect 

3 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Just visiting some so called tourist attraction 

Roti Island or some such. Bah! Poor coffee. Worse food! And if that’s not bad enough the place is infested with giant rodents trying to purloin one’s shitty lunch

Gave the ringleaders a jolly good whacking   That taught the beggars some respect 

Ratsnest Island as the Dutch called it, I suspect Uncle.  Forget the quokkas I am very perturbed about the poor coffee, that is a disgrace and in my new role as national Australian Coffee Standards ambassador I can assure you there will be ramifications! 

Looks like Harmesy’s on board.

22 minutes ago, KC from Casey said:

Looks like Harmesy’s on board.

Gold KC... lets hope he snags a few bananas tonight!

1 hour ago, KC from Casey said:

Looks like Harmesy’s on board.

Good boy.

37 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Good boy.

yes, he's a keeper, red