Just now, pineapple dee said:

This trip does appeal. I am usually selective about who I travel with. Can you assure me that there are no dangerous deviates in the party. I speak Italian if that helps and I can say " you are beautiful" in Arabic. ( and "thank you" ) . 

can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

31 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

When staying in the shared lodgings organised by Earl on this trip, how does one say "get that broomstick out of my back" in Arabic?

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2016 at 7:44 PM, Earl Hood said:

Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Edited September 6, 20169 yr by Bitter but optimistic

12 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Nothing to see here I am afraid Uncle, just meticulous contingency planning on my part. 

Of course we want our customers to have the full Cairo to Constantinople Middle East   Desert experience. They have asked to have the full Lawrance of Arabia experience, camping in Bedouin huts, riding a camel through Wadi Rum and charging into Aqaba and so on. To make this happen I often need to stay in the nearest major city to negotiate our way with the local governors. Choncita, the administrator, extraordinaire makes it all happen of course. We are all about customer service you know. 

13 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

18 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

Of course you wouldn't understand Moonie. A far more simple register is used when addressing (as one must on occasion) knuckle dragging vulgarians such as yourself and Biffen.

You will note that Earl Hood, a gentleman of culture and refinement, had no difficulty in understanding my erudite epistle.

20 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

dont refer to him as the saviour....he already has a 'complex" 

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

tram 109    stop 127

In your dressed down camouflage and assuming you will travel to Spencer Street; then pop across road and catch the Port Melbourne tram. There is a stop assigned for the oval. Should not trouble one such as yourself too much !!

Edited September 12, 20169 yr by beelzebub

4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

I suggest you take your helicopter and land on the ground, in the style of Peter Hudson, with a team of pompom waving cheerleaders escorting you to your seat.

2 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

I suggest you take your helicopter and land on the ground, in the style of Peter Hudson, with a team of pompom waving cheerleaders escorting you to your seat.

The pink helicopter is being serviced, Bronnie may have a special offer on hers.

4 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

I suggest you take your helicopter and land on the ground, in the style of Peter Hudson, with a team of pompom waving cheerleaders escorting you to your seat.

 

7 hours ago, beelzebub said:

tram 109    stop 127

In your dressed down camouflage and assuming you will travel to Spencer Street; then pop across road and catch the Port Melbourne tram. There is a stop assigned for the oval. Should not trouble one such as yourself too much !!

Thank you bb! It is reassuring to know there are still gentlemen in this world who can give a lucid and polite reply to a genuine request.

 

Unlike others.

20 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

Thank you bb! It is reassuring to know there are still gentlemen in this world who can give a lucid and polite reply to a genuine request.

 

Unlike others.

Rare now Bbo. Like you I feel reassured that there still people of this quality left amongst us.

23 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

Thank you bb! It is reassuring to know there are still gentlemen in this world who can give a lucid and polite reply to a genuine request.

 

Unlike others.

I thought my suggestion to be practical as well as satisfying your fantasies. Sorry for being an ideas man and thinking outside the square

40 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

I thought my suggestion to be practical as well as satisfying your fantasies. Sorry for being an ideas man and thinking outside the square

Well Moonie, you should have known that if anyone was to wear pompoms it would be me!

 

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Moonie, you should have known that if anyone was to wear pompoms it would be me!

 

I found myself thinking "what would jazza have made of that?" and it was hard not to laugh ...

12 hours ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

I found myself thinking "what would jazza have made of that?" and it was hard not to laugh ...

Yeah, cant help but miss old Jizza. Poor bastard, it can be a harsh world we live in.

I hate to get maudlin but having read the Sin and the Rage over breakfast, I can only feel more depressed at the state of the world we live in.

On 13/09/2016 at 9:41 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Yeah, cant help but miss old Jizza. Poor bastard, it can be a harsh world we live in.

I hate to get maudlin but having read the Sin and the Rage over breakfast, I can only feel more depressed at the state of the world we live in.

[Channelling my inner jazza]: Come off it you old grump! Go play with your pretend cows or something! Us real workers have had lunch before you are awake! I don't have time to read the papers, but if I did and they depressed me, I wouldn't read 'em! Man up, mate!

 

 

I reckon he'd say "toughen up!"

So let's do it (digitally).

42 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

I reckon he'd say "toughen up!"

So let's do it (digitally).

Not sure where you're going there Moonie??  Do I detect a prostate awareness campaign coming on?

But it did bring to my mind that famous song by Olivia Neutron Bomb : Let's Get Digital....

2 minutes ago, bjDee said:

Not sure where you're going there Moonie??  Do I detect a prostate awareness campaign coming on?

But it did bring to my mind that famous song by Olivia Neutron Bomb : Let's Get Digital....

Whatever tickles your pickle bjd. Sounds like you're already there!

Well it is mission accomplished as far as I am concerned

Two months ago I conceived a cunning plan to derail the Hawk's 4peat campaign, they were on a 7 game winning streak, had beaten the Swans in Sydney, demolished the Tigers and had moved 2 games clear on top of the ladder and they were giving me the shytes no end. And as the wife and in-laws are all mad hawks supporters there was a high level of tension in the household every Dawks game night as I have a developed a pathological hatred for them over the years for obvious reasons.

My plan was simply to place a large bet on them to win the flag. I haven't placed a bet on anything for 20 years because I have never won so much as a football club raffle in years of buying raffle tickets for local causes and as for horses or tattslotto forget it. In short I had put the "Curse of The Hood" on the team.

Once the bet was laid at 4.5 to 1 in my new Sportsbet account, I found I was totally calm on game night and was quite happy for the Dawks to smash their opponents. It was quite therapeutic actually.  And I really did think the Dawks were a real chance to win the flag as their main competitors were looking to be in average form.  And the winnings would go toward my next project to buy a C3 corvette stingray that my wife believes is utter folly. She keeps saying it is impractical to buy a 40 year old, gas guzzling, 2 seater with barely enough luggage space to store a tennis racquet. I mean really what would she know! 

A few weeks later I watch the Dees beat them for the first time in 10 years, Stratton goes down, then the Weagles stitch them up and Ceglar goes down and all of a sudden the team looks old and slow but still has some fight left. And they certainly looked slow on Friday night as the Bulldogs ran all over them. Mitchell, Hodge and Gibson all seemed to be losing form over the last few weeks and they looked very human and battle scarred.

Poor Clarko must have been scratching his head and the sports journo's as to what went wrong but now you all know the real reason.

Looks like I will have to save a bit longer for the Corvette

But please remember to gamble responsibly!

 

Edited September 19, 20169 yr by Earl Hood

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Well it is mission accomplished as far as I am concerned

Two months ago I conceived a cunning plan to derail the Hawk's 4peat campaign, they were on a 7 game winning streak, had beaten the Swans in Sydney, demolished the Tigers and had moved 2 games clear on top of the ladder and they were giving me the shytes no end. And as the wife and in-laws are all mad hawks supporters there was a high level of tension in the household every Dawks game night as I have a developed a pathological hatred for them over the years for obvious reasons.

My plan was simply to place a large bet on them to win the flag. I haven't placed a bet on anything for 20 years because I have never won so much as a football club raffle in years of buying raffle tickets for local causes and as for horses or tattslotto forget it. In short I had put the "Curse of The Hood" on the team.

Once the bet was laid at 4.5 to 1 in my new Sportsbet account, I found I was totally calm on game night and was quite happy for the Dawks to smash their opponents. It was quite therapeutic actually.  And I really did think the Dawks were a real chance to win the flag as there main competitors were looking to be in average form.  And the winnings would go toward my next project to buy a C3 corvette stingray that my wife believes is utter folly. She keeps saying it is impractical to buy a 40 year old, gas guzzling, 2 seater with barely enough luggage space to store a tennis racquet. Really.

A few weeks later I watch the Dees beat them for the first time in 10 years, Stratton goes down, then the Weagles stitch them up and Ceglar goes down and all of a sudden the team looks old and slow but still has some fight left. And they certainly looked slow on Friday night as the Bulldogs ran all over them. Mitchell, Hodge and Gibson all seemed to be losing form over the last few weeks and they looked very human and battle scarred.

Poor Clarko must have been scratching his head and the sports journo's as to what went wrong but now you all know the real reason.

Looks like I will have to save a bit longer for the Corvette

But please remember to gamble responsibly!

 

Well done Earl !!!! You've taken a hit to the wallet in a bid to topple the Evil Empire !!! And it's paid off.  I went to the game on Friday and was vociferous in my support for the doggies. I joined in in a tender moment by the crowd as we booed the Hawks from the field at half time. Right in front of the Hawthorn cheer squad which wasn't so much cheering the Hawks as sitting there mute. I called one of the maggots a criminal when he ignored a blatant free which should have gone Footscrays way and suggested at one point that they give Hodge a whistle. The Hawks fans around me didn't like my comment that Hill will enjoy Perth after his stuff up gifted the doggies a goal. I discovered today that my Hawthorn supporting doctor had been sitting behind me listening to my running commentary and he seemed a bit cool when taking my blood pressure. He will get over it eventually. I will probably get over the smugness and the arrogance of the average Hawks fan during these last several years but it might take somewhat longer. Right now I'm enjoying the derailment of the Hawthorn juggernaut like all right thinking footy fans will be. Let's hope the report of the death of the Hawthorn Football club has not been exaggerated.

2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Well it is mission accomplished as far as I am concerned

Two months ago I conceived a cunning plan to derail the Hawk's 4peat campaign, they were on a 7 game winning streak, had beaten the Swans in Sydney, demolished the Tigers and had moved 2 games clear on top of the ladder and they were giving me the shytes no end. And as the wife and in-laws are all mad hawks supporters there was a high level of tension in the household every Dawks game night as I have a developed a pathological hatred for them over the years for obvious reasons.

My plan was simply to place a large bet on them to win the flag. I haven't placed a bet on anything for 20 years because I have never won so much as a football club raffle in years of buying raffle tickets for local causes and as for horses or tattslotto forget it. In short I had put the "Curse of The Hood" on the team.

Once the bet was laid at 4.5 to 1 in my new Sportsbet account, I found I was totally calm on game night and was quite happy for the Dawks to smash their opponents. It was quite therapeutic actually.  And I really did think the Dawks were a real chance to win the flag as there main competitors were looking to be in average form.  And the winnings would go toward my next project to buy a C3 corvette stingray that my wife believes is utter folly. She keeps saying it is impractical to buy a 40 year old, gas guzzling, 2 seater with barely enough luggage space to store a tennis racquet. Really.

A few weeks later I watch the Dees beat them for the first time in 10 years, Stratton goes down, then the Weagles stitch them up and Ceglar goes down and all of a sudden the team looks old and slow but still has some fight left. And they certainly looked slow on Friday night as the Bulldogs ran all over them. Mitchell, Hodge and Gibson all seemed to be losing form over the last few weeks and they looked very human and battle scarred.

Poor Clarko must have been scratching his head and the sports journo's as to what went wrong but now you all know the real reason.

Looks like I will have to save a bit longer for the Corvette

But please remember to gamble responsibly!

 

So when the Dees are struggling next year, Earl, can we pass around the hat so that you can put a few dollars on the Dees not making a preliminary final?

Go Scorps for some silverware, sort of, for us.