Jump to content

Featured Replies

Uncle Bitter is back!! Let it be said that I made an honest attempt at rehab but the gods simply conspired against me. Let me explain.

After being given the arse off this site I decided to sit down and contemplate my failings. Then Moonie appeared at Romsey Manor. Plenty to say but sans grog. The 'lads' picked him early but I didn't listen and Moonie proceeded to drink gargantuan amounts of my alcohol with apparently no concern for the old Aussie tradition of actually buying.

I decided that going to one of those "Zen" places might help me. There is one nearby. Now this seemed to be going quite well and I was ooomming along with the best of them . However, a leotard cladded young lady appeared to be in some difficulty. The ever chivalrous Uncle Bitter attempted to assist. This led to a number of accusations ( One being that I was I trying to find her "centre" rather than my own) so I decided the best policy was to remove myself from that particular organisation.

Funny really. It had bizarre similarities to my expulsion from the gym. Young women are quite confusing really. Then there was my visit to the Primary School. Apparently there was some churlish objection to the bag of lollies. Strange world.

Then .. foolish me. I took Biffen to a Grand Final lunch at one of my clubs. Suffice to say it is now a former club.

Had a few glances at Demonland along the the way.

Some things don't change. The Snitch was sniveling and whining continuously. No surprise there..

Apparently my time in Coventry could have been shorter but for a personal reference. I shall look into this matter.

 

Welcome back Bitter...hasn't been the same without you ;)

 

Let me address the recent short term memory loss that Uncle Bitters has conveniently suffered in his past months bender.

Firstly ,having met our unrepentant and irrepressible squire at a certain mens establishment in town for elevenses in the lobby, things were going well until I was hit up for the "Homeless naughty teenage girls fund" which at the time seemed a worthy cause.More of that later.

In the lifts i began to regret my decision to meet the recalcitrant one ,as ever,when i noticed similar country types in the lift displaying the uncouth coarseness we expect of unsophisticated hayseeds in the big smoke.Not to be outdone in the bad manners and non-existent grooming stakes,The Squire decided to release enough methane to power a small town as the lift took us to the banquet room.

After creating a scene and having our seats moved next to the bar,the squire,unhappy as ever with the vino,insisted on an upgrade of red,which our friendly barman agreed to,and pulled out the best Lindemans.

We plonked our way through inedible food and nonsensical speeches and were asked to leave the banquet room as the Romsey squire was approaching the bargirls with offers of short term farm work,the kind mostly done on stud farms.

As I managed to persuade the truculent host to adjourn to a more private area ,i recall Moonie pulling himself out of a demonstration that had gathered on Collins st to help me carry the Country Member back to his train stop.

It was a day that did little for my social standing,and even less for charity.

It was a day that did little for my social standing,and even less for charity.

it's an ill wind that blows nobody good, biffo


Uncle Bitter being referred to as a Country Member. Ha!

As Gough once famously said, "yes, I remember"

Uncle Bitter being referred to as a Country Member. Ha!

As Gough once famously said, "yes, I remember"

The Groucho Marx quip re clubs and membership also comes to mind.

Good to see remorse from the bitter one, shows how big a man he is. I've heard quite large, but that may be bragging.

 

Good to see remorse from the bitter one, shows how big a man he is. I've heard quite large, but that may be bragging.

yeah...when you can fake sincerity ............ :rolleyes::)


yeah...when you can fake sincerity ............ :rolleyes::)

...and apparently that's another Groucho Marx quote!

Well [censored] you all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

Well [censored] all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

You wont believe your bad luck Bbo.

After no vintage this year the Pinot reserves are almost exhausted and their will be no more till 2017.

Even I cannot get a free bottle.

Sad but I guess we are used to disappointment being MFC followers.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

stocks are a bit low, bitters. seem to have been to a lot of funerals lately

i've got a few ideas to replenish stock so check back in a few months

you'll just ave to tighten the belt (if you get my gist) for a little longer


Er, shouldn't your sig read "bitterer than ever" or "more bitter than ever"?

The bigger bit is a given.

Edited by Moonshadow

Is Biffen still supplying You certain ... ahh performance enhancers dc?

alas no, bbo. since biffo got raided by the narcs i've had to.... ahh.. find alternate sauces

  • Author

BBO, I know why you wanted to come back so desperately, you missed the countdown.

39 just for you.

Well [censored] all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

Ahh BBO how good it is to read your dulcet tones again after your totally unfair enforced vacation. Only Biffen knows how many strings I tried to pull to overturn your ban and I more than anyone knows about the power of pulling strings! I battled strongly in your defence but the powers that be could not be swayed. Their demands were too much, you would not want to know the details.

So be it but you are back and all is well, as if nothing has happened. Remember in adversity we must all stick together, that is my motto!


Ahh BBO how good it is to read your dulcet tones again after your totally unfair enforced vacation. Only Biffen knows how many strings I tried to pull to overturn your ban and I more than anyone knows about the power of pulling strings! I battled strongly in your defence but the powers that be could not be swayed. Their demands were too much, you would not want to know the details.

So be it but you are back and all is well, as if nothing has happened. Remember in adversity we must all stick together, that is my motto!

earl, i suppose with the dumping of ex pm abbott your influence in matters of high state must be waning. you need to move on and get more into malcolm's circle of influence

earl, i suppose with the dumping of ex pm abbott your influence in matters of high state must be waning. you need to move on and get more into malcolm's circle of influence

So an Earl and a Republican walk into a bar......

Nope, don't think that'll work. There's no punchline to match that.

And in Good News today there will be no Melbourne players amongst the International Rules squad taking on Ireland.

Any fears of injuries preventing any of Demons taking to the preseason training have been laid to rest..

in other news...

 

And in Good News today there will be no Melbourne players amongst the International Rules squad taking on Ireland.

Any fears of injuries preventing any of Demons taking to the preseason training have been laid to rest..

in other news...

Phew!

38

another exciting trade day

if the afl have any brains they will extend trade period to 3 weeks and start a trade tv channel in full hd


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • WHAT’S NEXT? by The Oracle

    What’s next for a beleagured Melbourne Football Club down in form and confidence, facing  intense criticism and disapproval over some underwhelming recent performances and in the midst of a four game losing streak? Why, it’s Adelaide which boasts the best percentage in the AFL and has won six of its last seven games. The Crows are hot and not only that, the game is at the Adelaide Oval; yet another away fixture and the third in a row at a venue outside of Victoria. One of the problems the Demons have these days is that they rarely have the luxury of true home ground advantage, something they have enjoyed just once since mid April. 

    • 2 replies
  • REPORT: Gold Coast

    From the start, Melbourne’s performance against the Gold Coast Suns at Peoples First Stadium was nothing short of a massive botch up and it came down in the first instance to poor preparation. Rather than adequately preparing the team for battle against an opponent potentially on the skids after suffering three consecutive losses, the Demons looking anything but sharp and ready to play in the opening minutes of the game. By way of contrast, the Suns demonstrated a clear sense of purpose and will to win. From the very first bounce of the ball they were back to where they left off earlier in the season in Round Three when the teams met at the MCG. They ran rings around the Demons and finished the game off with a dominant six goal final term. This time, they produced another dominant quarter to start the game, restricting Melbourne to a solitary point to lead by six goals at the first break, by which time, the game was all but over.

    • 0 replies
  • CASEY: Gold Coast

    Coming off four consecutive victories and with a team filled with 17 AFL listed players, the Casey Demons took to their early morning encounter with the lowly Gold Coast Suns at People First Stadium with the swagger of a team that thought a win was inevitable. They were smashing it for the first twenty minutes of the game after Tom Fullarton booted the first two goals but they then descended into an abyss of frustrating poor form and lackadaisical effort that saw the swagger and the early arrogance disappear by quarter time when their lead was overtaken by a more intense and committed opponent. The Suns continued to apply the pressure in the second quarter and got out to a three goal lead in mid term before the Demons fought back. A late goal to the home side before the half time bell saw them ten points up at the break and another surge in the third quarter saw them comfortably up with a 23 point lead at the final break.

    • 0 replies
  • PREGAME: Rd 17 vs Adelaide

    With their season all over bar the shouting the Demons head back on the road for the third week in a row as they return to Adelaide to take on the Crows. Who comes in and who goes out?

    • 154 replies
  • POSTGAME: Rd 16 vs Gold Coast

    The Demons did not come to play from the opening bounce and let the Gold Coast kick the first 5 goals of the match. They then outscored the Suns for the next 3 quarters but it was too little too late and their season is now effectively over.

      • Haha
      • Like
    • 231 replies
  • VOTES: Rd 16 vs Gold Coast

    Max Gawn has a massive lead in the Demonland Player of the Year award ahead of Jake Bowey, Christian Petracca, Clayton Oliver and Kysaiah Pickett. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

    • 41 replies