Jump to content

URGENT ATTENTION: Major Site Update Will Require Email Address for Login and NOT Username. Please Ensure Your Email Address is Current.

Recommended Posts

Posted

Uncle Bitter is back!! Let it be said that I made an honest attempt at rehab but the gods simply conspired against me. Let me explain.

After being given the arse off this site I decided to sit down and contemplate my failings. Then Moonie appeared at Romsey Manor. Plenty to say but sans grog. The 'lads' picked him early but I didn't listen and Moonie proceeded to drink gargantuan amounts of my alcohol with apparently no concern for the old Aussie tradition of actually buying.

I decided that going to one of those "Zen" places might help me. There is one nearby. Now this seemed to be going quite well and I was ooomming along with the best of them . However, a leotard cladded young lady appeared to be in some difficulty. The ever chivalrous Uncle Bitter attempted to assist. This led to a number of accusations ( One being that I was I trying to find her "centre" rather than my own) so I decided the best policy was to remove myself from that particular organisation.

Funny really. It had bizarre similarities to my expulsion from the gym. Young women are quite confusing really. Then there was my visit to the Primary School. Apparently there was some churlish objection to the bag of lollies. Strange world.

Then .. foolish me. I took Biffen to a Grand Final lunch at one of my clubs. Suffice to say it is now a former club.

Had a few glances at Demonland along the the way.

Some things don't change. The Snitch was sniveling and whining continuously. No surprise there..

Apparently my time in Coventry could have been shorter but for a personal reference. I shall look into this matter.

  • Like 3

Posted

Welcome back Bitter...hasn't been the same without you ;)

  • Like 1
Posted

Let me address the recent short term memory loss that Uncle Bitters has conveniently suffered in his past months bender.

Firstly ,having met our unrepentant and irrepressible squire at a certain mens establishment in town for elevenses in the lobby, things were going well until I was hit up for the "Homeless naughty teenage girls fund" which at the time seemed a worthy cause.More of that later.

In the lifts i began to regret my decision to meet the recalcitrant one ,as ever,when i noticed similar country types in the lift displaying the uncouth coarseness we expect of unsophisticated hayseeds in the big smoke.Not to be outdone in the bad manners and non-existent grooming stakes,The Squire decided to release enough methane to power a small town as the lift took us to the banquet room.

After creating a scene and having our seats moved next to the bar,the squire,unhappy as ever with the vino,insisted on an upgrade of red,which our friendly barman agreed to,and pulled out the best Lindemans.

We plonked our way through inedible food and nonsensical speeches and were asked to leave the banquet room as the Romsey squire was approaching the bargirls with offers of short term farm work,the kind mostly done on stud farms.

As I managed to persuade the truculent host to adjourn to a more private area ,i recall Moonie pulling himself out of a demonstration that had gathered on Collins st to help me carry the Country Member back to his train stop.

It was a day that did little for my social standing,and even less for charity.

  • Like 4
Posted

Uncle Bitter being referred to as a Country Member. Ha!

As Gough once famously said, "yes, I remember"

The Groucho Marx quip re clubs and membership also comes to mind.

  • Like 1
Posted

Good to see remorse from the bitter one, shows how big a man he is. I've heard quite large, but that may be bragging.

  • Like 1
Posted

Good to see remorse from the bitter one, shows how big a man he is. I've heard quite large, but that may be bragging.

yeah...when you can fake sincerity ............ :rolleyes::)

Posted

yeah...when you can fake sincerity ............ :rolleyes::)

...and apparently that's another Groucho Marx quote!

  • Like 1
Posted

Well [censored] you all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

Posted

Well [censored] all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

You wont believe your bad luck Bbo.

After no vintage this year the Pinot reserves are almost exhausted and their will be no more till 2017.

Even I cannot get a free bottle.

Sad but I guess we are used to disappointment being MFC followers.

Posted

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

stocks are a bit low, bitters. seem to have been to a lot of funerals lately

i've got a few ideas to replenish stock so check back in a few months

you'll just ave to tighten the belt (if you get my gist) for a little longer

Posted (edited)

Er, shouldn't your sig read "bitterer than ever" or "more bitter than ever"?

The bigger bit is a given.

Edited by Moonshadow
Posted

Is Biffen still supplying You certain ... ahh performance enhancers dc?

alas no, bbo. since biffo got raided by the narcs i've had to.... ahh.. find alternate sauces

Posted

Well [censored] all , Bitter is back!!

What's been happening?

Biffen is full of it - his drunken behaviour resulted in me having to prove why I should remain a member of my club. FMD!!!

And ... as for Moonie ... [censored] me .... all he can do is drink free beer.

And what about the snivelling Snitch? FMD what a pissant.

I need some cultured company. OD , how about you invite me to your sister's winery and we drink free pinot?

And I'm still hunting down the class traitor who wouldn't give me a personal reference.

And dc - I 'm having some relationship difficulties ATM - could you toss a couple of greyrinsers my way please?

Ahh BBO how good it is to read your dulcet tones again after your totally unfair enforced vacation. Only Biffen knows how many strings I tried to pull to overturn your ban and I more than anyone knows about the power of pulling strings! I battled strongly in your defence but the powers that be could not be swayed. Their demands were too much, you would not want to know the details.

So be it but you are back and all is well, as if nothing has happened. Remember in adversity we must all stick together, that is my motto!

Posted

Ahh BBO how good it is to read your dulcet tones again after your totally unfair enforced vacation. Only Biffen knows how many strings I tried to pull to overturn your ban and I more than anyone knows about the power of pulling strings! I battled strongly in your defence but the powers that be could not be swayed. Their demands were too much, you would not want to know the details.

So be it but you are back and all is well, as if nothing has happened. Remember in adversity we must all stick together, that is my motto!

earl, i suppose with the dumping of ex pm abbott your influence in matters of high state must be waning. you need to move on and get more into malcolm's circle of influence

Posted

earl, i suppose with the dumping of ex pm abbott your influence in matters of high state must be waning. you need to move on and get more into malcolm's circle of influence

So an Earl and a Republican walk into a bar......

Nope, don't think that'll work. There's no punchline to match that.

  • Like 1
Posted

And in Good News today there will be no Melbourne players amongst the International Rules squad taking on Ireland.

Any fears of injuries preventing any of Demons taking to the preseason training have been laid to rest..

in other news...

Posted

And in Good News today there will be no Melbourne players amongst the International Rules squad taking on Ireland.

Any fears of injuries preventing any of Demons taking to the preseason training have been laid to rest..

in other news...

Phew!

38

  • Like 1

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Demonland Forums  

  • Match Previews, Reports & Articles  

    PREGAME: Practice Match vs Fremantle

    The Demons hit the road for what will be their first of 8 interstate trips this year when they play their final practice match before the 2025 AFL Premiership Season against the Fremantle Dockers in Perth on Sunday, 2nd March @ 6:10pm (AEDT). 2025 AAMI Community Series Sun Mar 2 Fremantle v Melbourne, Rushton Oval, Mandurah, 3.10pm AWST (6.10pm AEDT)

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 30

    RETURN TO NORMAL by Whispering Jack

    One of my prized possessions is a framed, autographed guernsey bearing the number 31 worn by my childhood hero, Melbourne’s champion six time premiership player Ronald Dale Barassi who passed away on 16 September 2023, aged 87. The former captain who went on to a successful coaching career, mainly with other clubs, came back to the fold in his later years as a staunch Demon supporter who often sat across the way from me in the Northern Stand of the MCG cheering on the team. Barassi died the

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    PODCAST: Match SIM vs North Melbourne

    Join us LIVE on Monday night at 8:30pm—note that this special time is just for this week due to prior commitments. We'll break down the Match SIM against North Melbourne and wrap up the preseason with insights into training and our latest recruits. I apologize for skipping our annual season review show at the end of last season. After a disapponting season filled with off-field antics and a heated trade week, I needed a break. Thankfully, the offseason has recharged me, and I’m back—ready t

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 38

    GAMEDAY: Match SIM vs North Melbourne

    After an agonizingly long off-season the 2025 AFL Premiership Season is almost upon us and the Demons have their first practice hit out against the Kangaroos in a match simulation out at Arden Street. The Demons will take on the Kangaroos in match simulation play, starting from 10am AEDT and broadcast live on Foxtel and Kayo. The play start time was brought forward from the initial 11am bounce, due to the high temperatures forecast.  The match sim will consist of four 25-minute qu

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 465

    TRAINING: Friday 21st February 2025

    Demonland Trackwatchers beat the Friday heat to bring you their observations from this morning's Captain's Run out at Gosch's Paddock in the lead up to their first hit out in a Practice Match tomorrow against the Kangaroos. TRAVY14'S PRESEASON TRAINING OBSERVATIONS On the park: Trac Spargo Gawn Viney Langdon May Fritsch Salem Henderson Rehab: McVee (updated to include Melk, Kolt, AMW and Kentfield) Spoke to "Gus" the trainer, he said these are the guys no

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports

    TRAINING: Wednesday 19th February 2025

    Demonlander The Analyser was the sole Trackwatcher out at Casey Fields today to bring you the following observations from this mornings preseason training session. Training  was at Casey today. It consisted of a match simulation for one half  and then a free choice activity time. Activities included kicking for goal,  aerial , contest work etc. I noticed the following players not in match simulation Jack Viney  running laps and looks fine for round one . I think Kolt looks like he’s im

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports 1

    TRAINING: Monday 17th February 2025

    Demonland Trackwatchers were on hand at Monday morning's preseason training at Gosch's Paddock to bring you their brief observations of the session. HARVEY WALLBANGER'S PRESEASON TRAINING OBSERVATIONS Gentle flush session at Gosch's this morning. Absent: May, Pickett (All Stars) McVee, McAdam. Rehabbing: Great to see Kentfield back (much slimmer), walking with Tholstrup, TMac (suspect just a management thing), Viney (still being cautious with that rib cartilage?), Melksham (

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports

    MATCH SIM: Friday 14th February 2025

    A couple of Demonland Trackwatchers made their way out to Casey Field's for the Melbourne Football Club's Family Series day to bring you their observations on the Match Simulation. HARVEY WALLBANGER'S MATCH SIMULATION OBSERVATIONS Absent: May, Pickett (All Stars), McVee, Windor, Kentfield, Mentha Present but not playing: Petracca, Viney, Spargo, Tholstrup, Melksham Starting Blue 18 (+ just 2 interchange): B: Petty, TMac, Lever, Howes, Bowey Salem M: Gawn, Oliver, La

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports

    TRAINING: Wednesday 12th February 2025

    Demonland Trackwatchers braved the scorching morning heat to bring you the following observations of Wednesday's preseason training session from Gosch's Paddock. HARVEY WALLBANGER'S PRESEASON TRAINING OBSERVATIONS Absent: Salem, Windsor (word is a foot rash going around), Viney, Bowey and Kentfield Train ons: Roy George, no Culley today. Firstly the bad news - McVee went down late, which does look like a bad hammy - towards the end of match sim, as he kicked the ball. Had to

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports
  • Tell a friend

    Love Demonland? Tell a friend!

×
×
  • Create New...