PARALLEL UNIVERSES by Whispering Jack

The world's great thinkers have long speculated about the existence of universes that run parallel to ours and in which things occur somewhat differently to the accepted norms that apply in the one that mankind, as we know it, currently occupies.

This concept, which I've discussed previously, is most commonly covered in a form devised not by an eminent philosopher or great man or woman of science, but by one of the writers for DC comics in the USA and is known as the "Bizarro World" (often referred to as "htraE"). The original Bizarros were the opposites of Superman and Lois Lane but today we use the term Bizarro to describe anything that utilises twisted logic or that which is the opposite of something else.

And this is the only way I can reasonably come to terms with season that the Melbourne Football Club and its followers have experienced both on and off the field in 2008. The off field stuff has been well documented and, although it's important, I don't propose to concern myself with that here. It's on the field where my concerns presently lie. In that respect, the whole season has been a total "Bizarro" experience culminating in yesterday's excursion across the Bizarro border and into a state known in the universal parallel language as ailartsuA htuoS.

IMAA Stadium in the picturesque city of edialedA was the venue for the game. It's dimensions are 177 x 145 m, the playing area is 165 x 133 m and, for this game there were two sets of goals: the official set being the goals which the home side used and which run north to south and the unofficial goals that Melbourne utilised (or so it seemed) and which run east to west to cater for the Demons' style of play which places such great store on sideways movement. When one takes this all into account, the fact that the Demons managed seven goals for the day at the official ends of the ground was an extraordinary feat of human endeavour.

Let's face it. Melbourne was absolutely terrible against Port Adelaide and, in spite of the injuries, in spite of the inexperience, in spite of the hostile crowd and in spite of the fact that some veterans were being given farewell runs, the performance put on by the 22 players and their coaches was unacceptable. There are simply no excuses when you lose a game to the second worst performed team in the competition over the previous month by 78 points.

None of the things you would expect from a professional modern day team were apparent starting from the necessary work rate and encompassing everything our game entails – skill, strength, pace, the ability to read the play, keep to your feet in the contest, dispose of the football, make correct decisions, discipline and awareness of what to do when the opposition has the ball.

Tactics and strategies?

Out through the window and into another parallel universe.

At the end of the day, coach Dean Bailey was said to be gutted by his team's performance and well he should be because his long honeymoon as coach of an AFL side is fast coming to an end.

Soon, he will be armed with the paltry spoils of mediocre performance in our game – the high draft picks including the first selections in the national and pre season drafts. Together, he and his football department will need to make the right choices, jettison the players who are unable to perform at this level in the real world, recruit personnel who can actually play the game and just ... teach them.

They need to be more than just competitive (which they are not at present) but also to be successful and win games consistently and often because unless that happens and happens soon, the Melbourne Football Club will only be known in the parallel universes and not in the one in which we live.

Melbourne 1.0.6 2.4.16 4.8.32 7.9.51

Port Adelaide 6.6.42 9.10.64 10.17.77 18.21.129

Goals

Melbourne Miller 2 Bate Bruce Jamar Newton Wonaeamirri

Port Adelaide D Motlop 5 P Burgoyne Lade Pearce J Westhoff M Westhoff 2 Boak Cassisi Rodan

Best

Melbourne Sylvia Buckley Wheatley Green McDonald Morton

Port Adelaide P Burgoyne Cassisi D Motlop K Cornes Brogan Logan S Burgoyne Pearce

Injuries

Melbourne nil

Port Adelaide Daniel Motlop (dislocated finger)

Changes nil

Reports nil

Umpires Margetts Head Keating

Official Crowd 18,875 at AAMI Stadium

At least you have a match report - nothing in today's herald sun (that I can see anyway) -

At least you have a match report - nothing in today's herald sun (that I can see anyway) -

Noticed that too. I'm cancelling my subscription as a result. B)

I have looked through the Herald Sun Sunday Sport lift out and I cannot find any mention of the Dees V Power match. That seems bizarre or maybe I am blind. I know we were thumped but surely that is no reason to leave us out. I hope I am mistaken.

I noticed the same thing - what a disgrace

Or is it a sign of how irrelevant we are becoming.

Wouldn't mind a blackban on the Sunday Herald Sun - worst paper in the country

Saw that early this morning - the game was irrelevent - only the vote and scors given. to show how irrelevent we are becoming, Dromana football club got a feature ahead of our game.

But if you offer up the rubbish and poor game plan we did yesterday, then we deserve it.

Not sure that I understand Bailey's game plan - you have an inexperienced side and you try to get them to play a game pan like Geelong. Surely you need to build them up to it. Get them to play a plan they can manage and grow with in confidence. I haven't seen too many players advance this year. Some like Jones have gone backward as their confidence lessens. Others are just holding on.

My feeling is that Bailey had a great presentation - but I have seem many things that looked good in powerpoint but fail miserably. My feeling is that like Harvey, Elshaugh, Royal and a few other, Bailey is a very good assistant coach.

Saw that early this morning - the game was irrelevent - only the vote and scors given. to show how irrelevent we are becoming, Dromana football club got a feature ahead of our game.

But if you offer up the rubbish and poor game plan we did yesterday, then we deserve it.

The Age actually did report the game and gave votes to Bell and Whelan , whilst declaring Garland's game as 'brilliant '.

I suggest that the HeraldSun and Age journalists were getting drunk together and not actually at the game .

The Herald Sun invoked the mercy rule.

And let's face it, "Dees flogged again" would hardly be a headline to catch anyone's attention.

(And someone at the HS screwed up)

I'm pretty sure the same thing happened last week as well, they showed the summary column, but there was an article about a different game on the same page, and no article about Melb/WC.

The Sunday Herald Scum, like the rest of us is used to Melbourne playing on Sundays.

Not sure that I understand Bailey's game plan - you have an inexperienced side and you try to get them to play a game pan like Geelong. Surely you need to build them up to it. Get them to play a plan they can manage and grow with in confidence. I haven't seen too many players advance this year. Some like Jones have gone backward as their confidence lessens. Others are just holding on.

What game plan would you suggest?

With young players you have to teach them early and teach them often so they will instil in themselves what is trying to be achieved. Its very hard for the younger player who have battled without on field leadership and put up with off field crises.

You would have to kidding that you dont think individual players have improved. Jones at 20 has had to carry the midfield single handedly. Which other Club would he be doing that? He has done a great job under the circumstances but needs to work on his disposal.

There will be a number of players who wont be around in a couple of months.

The Age actually did report the game and gave votes to Bell and Whelan , whilst declaring Garland's game as 'brilliant '.

I suggest that the HeraldSun and Age journalists were getting drunk together and not actually at the game .

Can you send me a PM I want to ask you something re your business.

I don't think we are going to make the finals this year - there I've said it....

here is a HUN report. what are you blokes on about ?

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/sport/afl...5015509,00.html

here is a HUN report. what are you blokes on about ?

This report isn't in the hard copy of the paper, that's the (so-called) problem.

There will be a number of players who wont be around in a couple of months.

I really hope you're right, I hope the club makes the hard decisions and cuts the mediocre players off the list.

Meanwhile they sign Newton to a new contract...

I really hope you're right, I hope the club makes the hard decisions and cuts the mediocre players off the list.

Meanwhile they sign Newton to a new contract...

It is hard to judge Newton's quality in this team. Melbourne are not bringing in the ball with any speed; not even Gary Ablett Snr would kick more than 3 or 4 goals playing in the Melbourne Forward line; when the ball eventually gets forward the opposition have flooded back. The good thing that Newton has done the past two weeks is chase when Melbourne don't have the ball.

I am not saying the Newton is going to be a great player at this level - I have no idea; but you can't judge him when the Melbourne ball movement is so slow. And at least he is doing the team things that a lot of his teams aren't.

PARALLEL UNIVERSES by Whispering Jack

Let's face it. Melbourne was absolutely terrible against Port Adelaide and, in spite of the injuries, in spite of the inexperience, in spite of the hostile crowd and in spite of the fact that some veterans were being given farewell runs, the performance put on by the 22 players and their coaches was unacceptable. There are simply no excuses when you lose a game to the second worst performed team in the competition over the previous month by 78 points.

None of the things you would expect from a professional modern day team were apparent starting from the necessary work rate and encompassing everything our game entails – skill, strength, pace, the ability to read the play, keep to your feet in the contest, dispose of the football, make correct decisions, discipline and awareness of what to do when the opposition has the ball.

Tactics and strategies?

Out through the window and into another parallel universe.

At the end of the day, coach Dean Bailey was said to be gutted by his team's performance and well he should be because his long honeymoon as coach of an AFL side is fast coming to an end.

Finally some voice of reason on this forum.

Our attempts to score by moving the ball sideways is laughable. And the buck stops with Bailey, because it's obvious that the players are playing to instructions.

Finally some voice of reason on this forum.

Our attempts to score by moving the ball sideways is laughable. And the buck stops with Bailey, because it's obvious that the players are playing to instructions.

Its reflection of a number of issues. To claim its a set play is as silly as anything you have posted here.

And to think Bailey has had it so easy this year.

Its reflection of a number of issues. To claim its a set play is as silly as anything you have posted here.

And to think Bailey has had it so easy this year.

You really are a fool.

No one is suggesting that chipping the ball sideways is some sort of "set play". It's a culmination of instructions and structure set about by the coaches.

The players are obviously told to keep possession at all costs, which is fine but unless something is done with the ball then it is next to useless. Position is just about as important as possession.

The structure is also vital, becuase as I have said over and over on this site, if there is no to kick it to in the first place (namely a forward line) then the players are forced to kick it short and wide. That problem can be eliminated by putting players in the right positions. The structure is dictated by the coaches, period. If a player isn't standing in the right position then I would bloody well hope that the runner would run and and say to them "if you don't get into position within 20 seconds then you will spend the next month at Sandy".

IMO, the players are being over coached. Too often the players seem to be running to what looks like a set formula of handballs that need to be made before the ball is kicked. There appears to be no instinct in the way the players play. All players come from the same draft, they all know how to play footy, I just hope the coaches aren't telling them too much and over-complicating the game.

I haven't seen too many players advance this year. Some like Jones have gone backward as their confidence lessens. Others are just holding on.

Think any of these have progressed?

- Garland

- Martin

- Chris Johnson

- Buckley

- Warnock

- Paul Johnson

- Miller

- Jamar

- Wheatley

- Green

- Moloney

Think any of these have progressed?

- Garland

- Martin

- Chris Johnson

- Buckley

- Warnock

- Paul Johnson

- Miller

- Jamar

- Wheatley

- Green

- Moloney

I even think McLean was better this year than he's ever been.

Reality check!!!

Davey, McLean, Moloney, Rivers, Robertson out.

CJ and PJ out - but still kids.

Building a team of youngsters. Give it time!!

No one is suggesting that chipping the ball sideways is some sort of "set play". It's a culmination of instructions and structure set about by the coaches.

The players are obviously told to keep possession at all costs, which is fine but unless something is done with the ball then it is next to useless. Position is just about as important as possession.

The structure is also vital, because as I have said over and over on this site, if there is no to kick it to in the first place (namely a forward line) then the players are forced to kick it short and wide. That problem can be eliminated by putting players in the right positions. The structure is dictated by the coaches, period. If a player isn't standing in the right position then I would bloody well hope that the runner would run and and say to them "if you don't get into position within 20 seconds then you will spend the next month at Sandy".

IMO, the players are being over coached. Too often the players seem to be running to what looks like a set formula of handballs that need to be made before the ball is kicked. There appears to be no instinct in the way the players play. All players come from the same draft, they all know how to play footy, I just hope the coaches aren't telling them too much and over-complicating the game.

Well said Clint.

Over coached .... maybe. Poorly coached ....... maybe. To poor to coach ..... maybe.

Whatever, I am fearful for 2009. From where I sit, little or no progress has been made this year - and this from starting with schoolboy like floggings in the pre-season. I was a huge critic of Bailey and his coaching team, early in the year, but pulled my head in. Nothing I have seen since gives me much confidence in the team or the coaching staff.

And spare me the 'young, rebuilding etc' stuff. All the other under-performing teams have at some stage (not just once) put their hands up to say 'no more, we will not be flogged without a yelp'. We may lose, but we will 'fly the flag'.

Not our team. They don't know how to. And I will not put the blame entirely with the players.

Next year will be interesting; I only wish I had the optimism of many on these boards.

I remain fearful.