Chook

That's like saying "If your uncle was your grandma, he wouldn't have a willie." It might be true, but it doesn't mean a thing and messes up any attempts to figure out the problem with your uncle's willie.

Jaeger O'Meara looks like the product of Soviet Russian genetic engineering, whereas Jack Viney looks like a young man who was raised with wolves. Who would win? God knows, but you can bet I wouldn't want to come between them and a football.

The first bit of footage is absolutely inexcusable. The second wasn't great, but it didn't smack of the same atrocious lack of desire as the first one. Ship him off to wherever, and replace him with someone who has the will to win.

Mitch Clark, Chris Dawes, Dean Terlich and Matt Jones all say hello and please request that you not place them in the same "fail" basket as most everything else Mark Neeld did.

186 represents a pivotal fork in the road for our club, and one at which we evidently took the wrong path. Cam Schwab should have seen his last day at Melbourne that weekend, but instead the players were ignored and Dean Bailey was axed instead. Would everything have gone swimmingly had we taken the path untraveled? Probably not, but one cannot deny the importance of that day. It was itself a product of a poor decision, and represents the first in a long line of similarly terrible choices whose repercussions can still be felt every time we look at the lopsided scoreboards and half-empty stadiums that take shape every time our disenfranchised players take the field. 148, 108 and 122 are all products of the same awful decision that led to that fateful game at Kardinia Park against Geelong.

I've been saying this all year. People were crying out for Mark Neeld to get sacked and maybe they were right to do so, but that doesn't hide the fact that it is our players who are ultimately responsible for anything good or bad we see on the field. They ARE killing our club, and the worst thing about it is that they don't even know (or care) that they're doing it.

When I listen to our games on the radio, I find myself getting frustrated just hearing many of our players' names. There is now that much bad blood associated with names like Byrnes, Dunn and Watts that the mere mention of them gets me annoyed. That is not a good sign.

Please! He and Terlich have both repeatedly allowed their opponents the latitude to run onto chest passes without providing the slightest bit of body pressure.

Why does Lynden Dunn never play in front of his opponent?

Who else was dead certain Shannon Byrnes would miss that goal?

If we can't get Roos, I'd get Ling as coach without a doubt. Choko, Eade, whoever else couldn't hold a candle to the things this guy could do for us. He's a gem, and if you don't believe me just look at where the Cats were when he got there, and where they are now. He is a huge part of what has made them so successful. #CamLing2014

Surely he doesn't still need his own hands to take care of that area.

Has anyone thought of the other possibility - that perhaps we're so popular that no matter where you look, our gear is all sold out.

Trenners? I know how much you love him.

Blood in his stool? I think he should get that checked out.

NEWS FLASH: MAN IS FRIENDS WITH OTHER MAN!!!

Surely we've already started doing that.

Yeah. I hate Gary Lyon too.

I would not be disappointed if Campbell Brown's last ever game was against the Demons. If only we'd won...

His leg didn't want to play.

Uh...yeah. Duh.

If I didn't know better, I'd say we tanked this match.

You don't know what you're talking about.

1300th eh? Is that a hundred times more unlucky than being the 13th player? If so, knowing Melbourne's luck this year he'll be struck by lightning before he makes it through the banner.