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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Featured Replies

11 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Is everything stuffed.

Just went on Coles Online and got cut off every time I completed the order.

Can I blame the club for this, or the AFL?

Jack Watts is almost certainly the culprit Red.

 
3 hours ago, Redleg said:

Is everything stuffed.

Just went on Coles Online and got cut off every time I completed the order.

Can I blame the club for this, or the AFL?

just wait till the internet gets a virus. imagine stuck at home with no internet

  • Author
10 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

just wait till the internet gets a virus. imagine stuck at home with no internet

Mrs Redleg posed the same scenario to me a few days ago. 

 
1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

just wait till the internet gets a virus. imagine stuck at home with no internet

No porn !!!!! What a thought. 

I need a bex and a good lie down.

I love this thread,

no regard for the madmen in charge of our political lives from whatever part of this world you are from.

No regard for climate change or no climate change,

No concern about C19,  but why listen to the experts now but not for Climate,

No economy rolling over and going belly up,

No concern about crowded places,

No Gran Prix, living near by  thats great,

No concern that football will or might be played in an empty house.

we can all watch on the TV and get a better view, with my sh it eyesite definitely.

and get told by experts whats happening, being deaf helps here.

Your comments do make me smile, love the political in correctness, makes me think I am nineteen again.

Go Dees 2020    what a year !

 

 


22 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No porn !!!!! What a thought. 

I need a bex and a good lie down.

coool, runnin maan... a good lie down and a drink of pleasuuure, and a it of candy on tv, John. maaan.

26 minutes ago, MyFavouriteMartian said:

coool, runnin maan... a good lie down and a drink of pleasuuure, and a it of candy on tv, John. maaan.

You're trying too hard, Marty

On 3/6/2020 at 10:18 PM, Redleg said:

Ankle.

He is .

 
On 3/12/2020 at 9:29 PM, Bitter but optimistic said:

No porn !!!!! What a thought. 

I need a bex and a good lie down.

You'll have to turn to your imagination, BBO.

On second thought, that's not a can of worms I want to know has been opened.


32 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tha fair hamlet of Romsey and our boutique supermarket is being invaded by Scumbury people. 
I am organising a militia to to put a stop to this outrage

They panic buying your retail stock of shiraz, Uncle?

23 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tha fair hamlet of Romsey and our boutique supermarket is being invaded by Scumbury people. 
I am organising a militia to to put a stop to this outrage

You can always build a wall to keep out the scum uncle. If you do go to your boutique supermarket make sure you wear mask and gloves and carry your hand gel. All items that I’m sure you use daily in The Manor”

.My little tip on hand lotion. Fill up a small bottle with Four Pillars Gin/Navy Strength (60 per cent alcohol) with a touch of lemon essence. This is cheaper and more effective than any other lotion. Spray on hands and any other body parts to maintain your hygiene standards. Particularly important to stop human transmission but also to prevent transmission from any surface including toys.  And very good as a mouth wash. 

2 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

They panic buying your retail stock of shiraz, Uncle?

It’s an amazing thing Moonie!!

Shiraz is still in plentiful supply. Why the elixir of life is being ignored astounds me!

2 hours ago, hemingway said:

You can always build a wall to keep out the scum uncle. If you do go to your boutique supermarket make sure you wear mask and gloves and carry your hand gel. All items that I’m sure you use daily in The Manor”

.My little tip on hand lotion. Fill up a small bottle with Four Pillars Gin/Navy Strength (60 per cent alcohol) with a touch of lemon essence. This is cheaper and more effective than any other lotion. Spray on hands and any other body parts to maintain your hygiene standards. Particularly important to stop human transmission but also to prevent transmission from any surface including toys.  And very good as a mouth wash. 

Wonderful and practical advice Ernie

I shall brew up your mixture immediately and apply to my tinea 


1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

It’s an amazing thing Moonie!!

Shiraz is still in plentiful supply. Why the elixir of life is being ignored astounds me!

Agree.

I'm washing my arrse with stubbies of beer due to lack of toilet paper. Such are the ironies of life!

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You can always build a wall to keep out the scum uncle. If you do go to your boutique supermarket make sure you wear mask and gloves and carry your hand gel. All items that I’m sure you use daily in The Manor”

To arrest the purported vertical exponential leap in those afflicted neither gloves or masks are currently recommended by health 'experts'  Apparently the bug is carried by gloves and masks should be reserved for use by medical professionals.

 

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

My little tip on hand lotion. Fill up a small bottle with Four Pillars Gin/Navy Strength (60 per cent alcohol) with a touch of lemon essence. This is cheaper and more effective than any other lotion. Spray on hands and any other body parts to maintain your hygiene standards

Yes with panic buying and shortages of popular consumer items, thrifty alternatives are always welcome. Although the advice recently offered, (in order to forestall the contagion) by an Iranian cleric. To apply oil of pansy flowers (in polite society) to an unmentionable part of the anatomy, nightly, does not give one exactly a 'ring' of confidence. Happily bananas still appear to be abundantly available.

Those sections quoted of course originate with Hemingway.

Edited by Tarax Club

it's currently easier and cheaper to stock up on underpants rather than bog rolls

and remember normal>reverse>inside out>reverse and you've got 4 days covered

easy peasy

and if desperate take some amoxil (don't overdo it) to constipate yourself

it's the little things that count

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

it's currently easier and cheaper to stock up on underpants rather than bog rolls

and remember normal>reverse>inside out>reverse and you've got 4 days covered

easy peasy

I am not sure what the fuss is about.

Ever since my pilgrimage trips to India and watching the Indians undertake their ablutions by the Yamuna and Ganga, I have followed suit.

If you look at the anatomy of the body and the geometry of the squat position, it is a piece of cake. As clean and clinical as a surgeons knife! 

Very hygienic and satisfactory on all counts. 

As long as your Princess is not watching.!

Edited by hemingway


2 minutes ago, hemingway said:

I am not sure what the fuss is about.

Ever since my pilgrimage trips to India and watching the Indians undertake their ablutions by the Yamuna and Ganga, I have followed suit.

If you look at the anatomy of the body and the geometry of the squat position, it is a piece of cake. As clean and clinical as a surgeons knife! 

Very hygienic and satisfactory on all counts. 

As long as your Princess is not watching.!

have you been growing your left index fingernail too, ernie. makes a wonderful scraper (especially after a hot curry vindaloo)

4 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

have you been growing your left index fingernail too, ernie. makes a wonderful scraper (especially after a hot curry vindaloo)

Daisy as long as you have the squat technique perfect (where you position both feet is critical) and have a hose, jug of water or creek water you dint need to worry about your hand or finger nails. 

All the same, in my travels across the plains of India I never shook hands or took food from a one armed Indian. 

9 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Daisy as long as you have the squat technique perfect (where you position both feet is critical) and have a hose, jug of water or creek water you dint need to worry about your hand or finger nails. 

All the same, in my travels across the plains of India I never shook hands or took food from a one armed Indian. 

and never pickup a discarded banana leaf

 
9 hours ago, hemingway said:

You can always build a wall to keep out the scum uncle. If you do go to your boutique supermarket make sure you wear mask and gloves and carry your hand gel. All items that I’m sure you use daily in The Manor”

.My little tip on hand lotion. Fill up a small bottle with Four Pillars Gin/Navy Strength (60 per cent alcohol) with a touch of lemon essence. This is cheaper and more effective than any other lotion. Spray on hands and any other body parts to maintain your hygiene standards. Particularly important to stop human transmission but also to prevent transmission from any surface including toys.  And very good as a mouth wash. 

I think I will just make up some hip flasks of this concoction, potentially a great dual use here. My synopsis is that I can have a swig and then spray my hands. If I am perpetually [censored] I don’t believe the virus can get a look in. Constructive comments are welcome. 


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