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The No T$ No B$ Thread


Redleg

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1 hour ago, Redleg said:

A conversation about bananas is not a conversation about nothing.

No perhaps not your Honour, but it’s definitely weird, perverse and even kinky. 

I see no evidence to suggest that the banana is superior to other fruit.  It’s a fit up job, to keep up the morale of the banana or the banana industry. Perhaps even the consumer. 

With the greatest respect to the banana fanatics, it has got a little passé even tiresome to those with a broader and a more holistic view of the fruit industry.

However, I do appreciate that it has Freudian significance but personally I detect a feeling of inadequacy from all the banana lovers. 

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1 hour ago, hemingway said:

No perhaps not your Honour, but it’s definitely weird, perverse and even kinky. 

I see no evidence to suggest that the banana is superior to other fruit.  It’s a fit up job, to keep up the morale of the banana or the banana industry. Perhaps even the consumer. 

With the greatest respect to the banana fanatics, it has got a little passé even tiresome to those with a broader and a more holistic view of the fruit industry.

However, I do appreciate that it has Freudian significance but personally I detect a feeling of inadequacy from all the banana lovers. 

It’s the only fruit humans can solely survive on. Bananas are god. #BananaFacts.

Edited by Ethan Tremblay
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11 hours ago, hemingway said:

No perhaps not your Honour, but it’s definitely weird, perverse and even kinky. 

I see no evidence to suggest that the banana is superior to other fruit.  It’s a fit up job, to keep up the morale of the banana or the banana industry. Perhaps even the consumer. 

With the greatest respect to the banana fanatics, it has got a little passé even tiresome to those with a broader and a more holistic view of the fruit industry.

However, I do appreciate that it has Freudian significance but personally I detect a feeling of inadequacy from all the banana lovers. 

As President of the Australian Banana Lover's Association, which includes the Banana Smoothie Appreciation Society, I have referred your post to our Lawyers, the DPP and the ACCC.

You have gone too far.

You will be made to heel.

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4 hours ago, Redleg said:

As President of the Australian Banana Lover's Association, which includes the Banana Smoothie Appreciation Society, I have referred your post to our Lawyers, the DPP and the ACCC.

You have gone too far.

You will be made to heel.

There are two possibilities :

That ABLA  (no, not my favourite Carlton restaurant but the banana brigade), is no more than a front for the marketing of Bananas. It has nothing to do with love, it is about profit. Better put, the organisation is a loosely knit brigade of profiteers. One rumour doing the rounds is  that the head of this shell organisation is one of the Rakes of Melbourne's legal society. Apparently, there is also a well known entrepreneur (lets just call him Milo) who is making megabucks by shifting bananas around the country. 

The second possibility is that the organisation simply consists of a bunch of neurotic banana lovers who have become self important , obsessed,  a little paranoid but with delusions of grandeur, and, who increasingly exhibit a strong authoritarian streak. They are not prepared to accept difference but are endeavoring to squash support for all other fruit and squash all opposition and dissent to their belief that the banana reigns supreme. It is about colour, body shape, taste and image. It is about deep seated prejudice. These people want all bananas to look the same. The bad bananas never make it to the supermarket shelf. They are simply eliminated along the way so folks only see the perfect banana. Indeed, when have you seen a misshaped banana in the supermarket?

However, I am concerned about legal action and indeed much worse as sometimes legal action is accompanied by threats to the person. The fruiterers from the Footscray fruit and vegie market know all about the stand over merchants.

It is possible that true banana lovers are being mislead and influenced by the propaganda from undesirables that have infiltrated ABLA. Apparently, secret banana parties are being held in the suburbs, where bananas are worshiped, devoured and often misused in all sorts of unmentionable ways, except to say that there are rituals with sado-masochistic overtones which have only recently emerged following the involvement of an undesirable character from Romsey.

As everyone seems to be apologizing these days (politicians, heads of public sector organisations, police, footballers, banks, actors, film producers, and anyone else who gets caught out), I will take the opportunity to "say sorry"" and offer my apologies to the banana brigade and ABLA.  

 

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On 5/30/2018 at 8:43 PM, Ethan Tremblay said:

The Bible is a lie, Noah only loaded the boat with bananas. 

So (and I hesitate to ask...)

......

if they had to go aboard in pairs, two by two,...

.....

How do you tell the male banana from the female one?

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4 minutes ago, bjDee said:

So (and I hesitate to ask...)

......

if they had to go aboard in pairs, two by two,...

.....

How do you tell the male banana from the female one?

banana trees have both female and male flowers. the bananas only grow from the female flowers

here endeth the lesson

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1 hour ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

They’re gender neutral. 

Surely gender defines no gender

If bananas are both male and female surely they are gender enriched?

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21 hours ago, Redleg said:

As President of the Australian Banana Lover's Association, which includes the Banana Smoothie Appreciation Society, I have referred your post to our Lawyers, the DPP and the ACCC.

You have gone too far.

You will be made to heel.

How did you get that position Red?

Is it voluntary or did you have to work for it? Or were you forced to kill the previous office holder in a duel?

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18 hours ago, hemingway said:

There are two possibilities :

That ABLA  (no, not my favourite Carlton restaurant but the banana brigade), is no more than a front for the marketing of Bananas. It has nothing to do with love, it is about profit. Better put, the organisation is a loosely knit brigade of profiteers. One rumour doing the rounds is  that the head of this shell organisation is one of the Rakes of Melbourne's legal society. Apparently, there is also a well known entrepreneur (lets just call him Milo) who is making megabucks by shifting bananas around the country. 

The second possibility is that the organisation simply consists of a bunch of neurotic banana lovers who have become self important , obsessed,  a little paranoid but with delusions of grandeur, and, who increasingly exhibit a strong authoritarian streak. They are not prepared to accept difference but are endeavoring to squash support for all other fruit and squash all opposition and dissent to their belief that the banana reigns supreme. It is about colour, body shape, taste and image. It is about deep seated prejudice. These people want all bananas to look the same. The bad bananas never make it to the supermarket shelf. They are simply eliminated along the way so folks only see the perfect banana. Indeed, when have you seen a misshaped banana in the supermarket?

However, I am concerned about legal action and indeed much worse as sometimes legal action is accompanied by threats to the person. The fruiterers from the Footscray fruit and vegie market know all about the stand over merchants.

It is possible that true banana lovers are being mislead and influenced by the propaganda from undesirables that have infiltrated ABLA. Apparently, secret banana parties are being held in the suburbs, where bananas are worshiped, devoured and often misused in all sorts of unmentionable ways, except to say that there are rituals with sado-masochistic overtones which have only recently emerged following the involvement of an undesirable character from Romsey.

As everyone seems to be apologizing these days (politicians, heads of public sector organisations, police, footballers, banks, actors, film producers, and anyone else who gets caught out), I will take the opportunity to "say sorry"" and offer my apologies to the banana brigade and ABLA.  

 

Apology accepted and as an olive leaf gesture, I will invite you to our next banana sampling meeting, where we will be trying combinations of old Oz favourites like Vegemite or Aeroplane Jelly,  mixed with our beloved bananas.

Should be a hoot of a night. 

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2 hours ago, Colin B. Flaubert said:

How did you get that position Red?

Is it voluntary or did you have to work for it? Or were you forced to kill the previous office holder in a duel?

I was elected magnanimously, I mean unanimously.

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On 6/4/2018 at 2:22 PM, Redleg said:

8-3 Wow.

But will the second half of the season be 3-8?

Although the real question is, have the football GODS forgiven us?

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On 5/31/2018 at 1:41 PM, Redleg said:

Apology accepted and as an olive leaf gesture, I will invite you to our next banana sampling meeting, where we will be trying combinations of old Oz favourites like Vegemite or Aeroplane Jelly,  mixed with our beloved bananas.

Should be a hoot of a night. 

No peanut butter combination? The best of all.

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4 hours ago, old dee said:

The most enjoyable thing of 2018 is that this thread has returned to its roots. 

Long live the banana!

Did you notice what the boys were eating at half time of their games? When the cameras went into our rooms at a few games, several of the boys were enjoying a banana, to boost their energy levels.

The secret ingredient of our success this year.

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2 hours ago, Redleg said:

Did you notice what the boys were eating at half time of their games? When the cameras went into our rooms at a few games, several of the boys were enjoying a banana, to boost their energy levels.

The secret ingredient of our success this year.

Hardly surprising Mr. Leg. I did not see that as I have been away a few weeks so have not seen the last four games. Back mid next week just in time for the bye.

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2 hours ago, Redleg said:

Did you notice what the boys were eating at half time of their games? When the cameras went into our rooms at a few games, several of the boys were enjoying a banana, to boost their energy levels.

The secret ingredient of our success this year.

This is pretty banal Red.

Surely you can provide more detail. As a legal eagle, I thought you would have a more inquiring mind!

The banana lovers are crying out for more.

To engage us on this topic, we need a bit of titillation.

What type of banana's were they?  There are hundreds of varieties, all with different taste, texture and feel.  

Red Jamaica's, Cavendish, Apple, Dwarf Cavendish etc etc. Perhaps the boys enjoy Lady Fingers?

I know I would, particularly post game. 

I could go on and on. How many do they devour? Just one at a time or an orgy of bananas? Are there any risks of enjoying too many? Do the boys feel satisfied after one or do they prefer having a couple. I am told that three can be enjoyable and beneficial for one's health and well being. Can be a cultural thing of course.  

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