Jump to content

The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Wash your mouth out with caustic soda skinny - shiraz is the king of wines.

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

  • Quote
    •  
    53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Speaking of poor people, we haven't heard from Special Robert for a while.

    I suppose he and squirrel spooning wasn't enough and a cold night got them.

    Or he might've gone the same way as stuie, curry & beer or dee-luded. Killed off in the dead of night. Our very own murder mystery, if you will.

    Who's next?

    The butler hiding in the pantry (dc)? The Lady of the House decending the staircase (Maple)? Or the Drunken Uncle fumbling around the cellar for another bottle of shiraz? 

    Edited by Moonshadow

  • Quote
    • Like 2
    1 hour ago, dieter said:

    Then who is the Queen?

    By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

    No.... that's just you ....on your second bottle ;)

  • Quote
    • Like 1
     
    2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    No that's me after helping Biffen move out of the Gat.

    I will need to store some stuff at the Monor for a while.

    Some of it is from parts foreign.

    Your proximty to the airport could be handy.

    Since the closure of the Gat I have decided to increase my business .

    Your are included in my new venture.Dont thank me yet.The hard work has only just begun.

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Edited by Earl Hood

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    3 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Divorce

  • Quote
    8 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Your Earlness,

    You wouldn't perchance be the Earl of Sandwich, would you?

    Because what you describe sounds like a Faecal Sandwich to me. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1
     
    14 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Divorce.

  • Quote

    Tell her to pack her BDSM gear as well Earl. And a good bottle of vodka. It'll be worth the sacrifice 

  • Quote

    Treason is punishable by death in my country.

    But go ahead Earl!

    You won't be thought of as less than human.

    Or anywhere in the vicinity.

     

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Quite acceptable to wear your red and blue, I would think.  If you want to wear yellow and brown, wait for incontinence to hit after you move into the nursing home....

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    If it's gold and brown bra and panties, you can safely wear those for a bit of fun without being identified as a Hawks fan. If it's something to wear on the outside and there's no hididing it then, no , not under any circumstances. 

  • Quote
    2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    That cannot be a serious question Earl. Of course you cannot wear that under any circumstances. Perhaps donate the scarf on the way to some poor homeless type (I am sure there are a few that can be found in that harbourside place), and if that goes well, do the same with the jumper. Failing that, you could accidentally spill your drink all over it, thus ruining the fabric. You could also say you are carrying it for the Sheedy-type wave, and then just not be able to hang onto it once you have whipped up a good speed (but perhaps aim for the nearest bin whilst doing so, just to be sure). Or maybe just polish your shoes with it before you go, and then use it as a bin liner. But surely Conchita can deal with this for you?

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    21 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Good heavens Earl! Whatever are you thinking?

    The answer to your dilemma is obvious.

    It is time to demonstrate just who wears the pants.

    Give your missus a jolly good thrashing and take the hirstute Conchita to Sydney.

     

    PS. You wont even have to go the football.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    16 hours ago, Redleg said:

    My interest in this season is being killed off. 

    what season is that ?....our Winter......of......:rolleyes:

  • Quote
    • Author

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

  • Quote
    2 minutes ago, Redleg said:

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

    Stay away from them Red.

    Read labels...all numbers and gobbledygook... FakeFood !!

  • Quote

    On 27/05/2017 at 3:29 PM, Redleg said:

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

    Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

    The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

  • Quote
    29 minutes ago, bjDee said:

    Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

    The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    3 minutes ago, hemingway said:

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

    I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

    Thought you must be dead.

    ............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Quote
    •  
    • Author
    18 hours ago, hemingway said:

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

    That might be the moral but ATM they are working. However I know they are only a short term fix but you often need to get a result early to ensure continuation and they are ok for that.

    PS. The caffe latte flavour is great.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    20 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

    Thought you must be dead.

    ............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hineni, here I am my Lord.            Acceptance of the inevitable has replaced wisdom Uncle. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

    Guest
    Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
    Reply to this topic...
    Go to topic listing

    Featured Content

    • REPORT: Hawthorn

      There was a time during the current Melbourne cycle that goes back to before the premiership when the club was the toughest to beat in the fourth quarter. The Demons were not only hard to beat at any time but it was virtually impossible to get the better them when scores were close at three quarter time. It was only three or four years ago but they were fit, strong and resilient in body and mind. Sadly, those days are over. This has been the case since the club fell off its pedestal about 12 months ago after it beat Geelong and then lost to Carlton. In both instances, Melbourne put together strong, stirring final quarters, one that resulted in victory, the other, in defeat. Since then, the drop off has been dramatic to the point where it can neither pull off victory in close matches, nor can it even go down in defeat  gallantly.

        • Clap
        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 0 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • CASEY: Footscray

      At twenty-four minutes into the third term of the game between the Casey Demons and Footscray VFL at Whitten Oval, the visitors were coasting. They were winning all over the ground, had the ascendancy in the ruck battles and held a 26 point lead on a day perfect for football. What could go wrong? Everything. The Bulldogs moved into overdrive in the last five minutes of the term and booted three straight goals to reduce the margin to a highly retrievable eight points at the last break. Bouyed by that effort, their confidence was on a high level during the interval and they ran all over the despondent Demons and kicked another five goals to lead by a comfortable margin of four goals deep into the final term before Paddy Cross kicked a couple of too late goals for a despondent Casey. A testament to their lack of pressure in the latter stages of the game was the fact that Footscray’s last ten scoring shots were nine goals and one rushed behind. Things might have been different for the Demons who went into the game after last week’s bye with 12 AFL listed players. Blake Howes was held over for the AFL game but two others, Jack Billings and Taj Woewodin (not officially listed as injured) were also missing and they could have been handy at the end. Another mystery of the current VFL system.

        • Thanks
      • 0 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PREGAME: Brisbane

      The Demons head back out on the road in Round 10 when they travel to Queensland to take on the reigning Premiers and the top of the table Lions who look very formidable. Can the Dees cause a massive upset? Who comes in and who goes out?

        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 90 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PODCAST: Hawthorn

      The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 12th May @ 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we dissect the Demons loss to the Hawks. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human.

        • Clap
        • Thanks
        • Like
      • 39 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • POSTGAME: Hawthorn

      Wayward kicking for goal, dump kicks inside 50 and some baffling umpiring all contributed to the Dees not getting out to an an early lead that may have impacted the result. At the end of the day the Demons were just not good enough and let the Hawks run away with their first win against the Demons in 7 years.

        • Clap
        • Love
        • Like
      • 340 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • VOTES: Hawthorn

      After 3 fantastic week Max Gawn has a massive lead in the Demonland Player of the Year award from Jake Bowey, Christian Petracca, Kade Chandler and Ed Langdon who round out the Top Five. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

        • Thanks
      • 32 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland
    View All