The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Redleg 40,453]

1 hour ago, Spirit of the Demon said:

Bummer!

Speaking of bums.

Can any of you guys recall where this silly saying came from, " are you all sitting two square on your botty"?

It was either a TV show or radio show many years ago,  when I was a kid.

I think it was an Englishman that said it and it was repeated many times in the show.

[Redleg 40,453]

4 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Speaking of bums.

Can any of you guys recall where this silly saying came from, " are you all sitting two square on your botty"?

It was either a TV show or radio show many years ago,  when I was a kid.

I think it was an Englishman that said it and it was repeated many times in the show.

Think I found something.

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

Edited February 11, 2017 by Redleg

[picket fence 16,820]

Just come back from Tassy recently and was absolutely shocked to pull into a Petrol station and recieve "Old style" Free driveway service, not limited to

1 Petrol pump attendance

2 Tyre pressure checked

3 Fluid levels checked 

4 A smile and good luck for the rest of my stay

In shock I pulled outa that station with a silly grin on my face as I remember in my distant past the way things were before self service stuffed everything up!

Hey Uncle Bitter do you still recieve 'Full Service" in Fair Romsey??

 

[daisycutter 29,484]

16 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Think I found something.

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

sigmund would have a field day with you, mr leg

[Moonshadow 17,638]

3 hours ago, picket fence said:

Just come back from Tassy recently and was absolutely shocked to pull into a Petrol station and recieve "Old style" Free driveway service, not limited to

1 Petrol pump attendance

2 Tyre pressure checked

3 Fluid levels checked 

4 A smile and good luck for the rest of my stay

In shock I pulled outa that station with a silly grin on my face as I remember in my distant past the way things were before self service stuffed everything up!

Hey Uncle Bitter do you still recieve 'Full Service" in Fair Romsey??

 

That costs extra in Romsey picket. Also you can never be sure of what you'll get. Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?

[Redleg 40,453]

3 hours ago, daisycutter said:

sigmund would have a field day with you, mr leg

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

[daisycutter 29,484]

13 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

[Redleg 40,453]

26 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

That's what I thought.

[Red and Bluebeard 2,081]

6 hours ago, daisycutter said:

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

Especially as that means the considerate [censored] missed out on our back-to-back-to-back flags of '39, '40 and '41 ...

[Earl Hood 6,067]

10 hours ago, Redleg said:

Think I found something.

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

Hey Red

you have reminded me, I first saw the Professor when I was a kid in Carry on Regardless. Sid James was running a business of handy men and women and this odd person would show up regularly speaking gobbledegook. Turns out he was the landlord telling them they were to be evicted. I remember the whole family being in stitches with this bloke who sounded so familiar but made no sense. 

[Redleg 40,453]

15 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Hey Red

you have reminded me, I first saw the Professor when I was a kid in Carry on Regardless. Sid James was running a business of handy men and women and this odd person would show up regularly speaking gobbledegook. Turns out he was the landlord telling them they were to be evicted. I remember the whole family being in stitches with this bloke who sounded so familiar but made no sense. 

Yes, he was a funny guy.

I just had this memory of his funny saying/catchphrase and I couldn't recall where I had heard it.

[old dee 23,568]

Probably not the right spot but my second sporting love is Basketball. I feel a little joy after my team was replaced by a soccer team i.e. melbourne united.

The regular season finished on the weekend and MU has missed the finals for the third year in a row.

Oh joy!

I hope that makes the Tigers return one year closer.

Edited February 13, 2017 by old dee

[Wrecker45 3,378]

In a thread impossible to derail, can I possibly try and derail this one? I have written a thread on drinking in the General Board. Would appreciate comments. $cully, Trump and Hitler were / are teetotaler's. 

[old dee 23,568]

2 minutes ago, Wrecker45 said:

In a thread impossible to derail, can I possibly try and derail this one? I have written a thread on drinking in the General Board. Would appreciate comments. $cully, Trump and Hitler were / are teetotaler's. 

Says it all!

[Biffen 12,939]

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen

[Akum 2,660]

On 12 February 2017 at 2:51 PM, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

[old dee 23,568]

11 minutes ago, Akum said:

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

OLD!

[hemingway 7,615]

2 hours ago, Biffen said:

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen

Makes my past excessive behaviour seem well what can I say.....not excessive.  I feel there is a touch of unreality creeping into your life Biff. A lengthy period in rehab is beckoning. 

[Redleg 40,453]

1 hour ago, Akum said:

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

Not happy "Jan".

[DemonFrog 1,347]

4 hours ago, old dee said:

Probably not the right spot but my second sporting love is Basketball. I feel a little joy after my team was replaced by a soccer team i.e. melbourne united.

The regular season finished on the weekend and MU has missed the finals for the third year in a row.

Oh joy!

I hope that makes the Tigers return one year closer.

OD basketball is all about the Wild Cats.

[DemonFrog 1,347]

1 hour ago, old dee said:

OLD!

and Dees?

[old dee 23,568]

43 minutes ago, DemonFrog said:

OD basketball is all about the Wild Cats.

 Sorry to disagree DF but it is about the Tigers in this house. Well the lack of them actually.

[Biffen 12,939]

5 hours ago, hemingway said:

Makes my past excessive behaviour seem well what can I say.....not excessive.  I feel there is a touch of unreality creeping into your life Biff. A lengthy period in rehab is beckoning. 

This IS my rehab and detox program Hem.

 

[Pink Freud 364]

On 12/02/2017 at 2:51 PM, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

Like Mark Twain, those rumours about my passing are highly exaggerated.

[dpositive 1,662]

9 hours ago, Biffen said:

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen

Pleased that you have transitioned so well.

The blandness here has been exacerbated by the constant bickering over alternative truths, heat and renewable energy. Suggest you maintain popularity by introducing a women's league. It seems to have worked well as a distraction for AFL.

Your entourage appears to comprise all necessary elements for successful wealth generation,just don't be lulled into including accountants and all should be well.