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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Featured Replies

Top Ten Things i love about Vietnam.

1.Smoking in crowded restaurants in the presence of children.

2.No safety signs/warnings .

3.Cooking live prawns

4.Doing sweet FA in the cleaning/cooking department ,unless i decide i want to cook.

5.Morning beers

6.No helmets on the scooter unless you feel like it

7.Cash is King

8.Children respecting adults

9.Wonderful over the counter drugs

10.See through pyjamas

 
21 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

And I think Christine Anu did really well for herself after she took the S off the end of her name

Pity she gains a pound every time she sings her hit, which she never wrote.

11 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Top Ten Things i love about Vietnam.

1.Smoking in crowded restaurants in the presence of children.

2.No safety signs/warnings .

3.Cooking live prawns

4.Doing sweet FA in the cleaning/cooking department ,unless i decide i want to cook.

5.Morning beers

6.No helmets on the scooter unless you feel like it

7.Cash is King

8.Children respecting adults

9.Wonderful over the counter drugs

10.See through pyjamas

you forgot innovative electrical wiring, biffo

 
Just now, daisycutter said:

you forgot innovative electrical wiring, biffo

not limited to Vietnam....seems to be all over the region ;)

31 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

And I think Christine Anu did really well for herself after she took the S off the end of her name

but titian ur anu doesn't work, mooney


15 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Top Ten Things i love about Vietnam.

1.Smoking in crowded restaurants in the presence of children.

2.No safety signs/warnings .

3.Cooking live prawns

4.Doing sweet FA in the cleaning/cooking department ,unless i decide i want to cook.

5.Morning beers

6.No helmets on the scooter unless you feel like it

7.Cash is King

8.Children respecting adults

9.Wonderful over the counter drugs

10.See through pyjamas

Having a business in HCMC Biff I couldnt agree more as  I travel and stay there many times each year

Makes Victoria seem like a PC hell.

30 minutes ago, jackaub said:

Having a business in HCMC Biff I couldnt agree more as  I travel and stay there many times each year

Makes Victoria seem like a PC hell.

We should get together and gamble on a [censored] fight,drink a few hundred beers,hire a gf or two and enjoy life.

Edited by Biffen
See male chicken for auto nanny censor.

30 minutes ago, Biffen said:

We should get together and gamble on a [censored] fight,drink a few hundred beers,hire a gf or two and enjoy life.

That's tempting Biff so just a normal evening in District 1right?

 
22 minutes ago, jackaub said:

That's tempting Biff so just a normal evening in District 1right?

Exactamundo- then we could go blow away a few buffalos with an AK47 or even an RPG to let off some steam.


  • Author
1 hour ago, Spirit of the Demon said:

Bummer!

Speaking of bums.

Can any of you guys recall where this silly saying came from, " are you all sitting two square on your botty"?

It was either a TV show or radio show many years ago,  when I was a kid.

I think it was an Englishman that said it and it was repeated many times in the show.

  • Author
4 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Speaking of bums.

Can any of you guys recall where this silly saying came from, " are you all sitting two square on your botty"?

It was either a TV show or radio show many years ago,  when I was a kid.

I think it was an Englishman that said it and it was repeated many times in the show.

Think I found something.

image017.jpg

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

Edited by Redleg

Just come back from Tassy recently and was absolutely shocked to pull into a Petrol station and recieve "Old style" Free driveway service, not limited to

1 Petrol pump attendance

2 Tyre pressure checked

3 Fluid levels checked 

4 A smile and good luck for the rest of my stay

In shock I pulled outa that station with a silly grin on my face as I remember in my distant past the way things were before self service stuffed everything up!

Hey Uncle Bitter do you still recieve 'Full Service" in Fair Romsey??

 

16 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Think I found something.

image017.jpg

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

sigmund would have a field day with you, mr leg

3 hours ago, picket fence said:

Just come back from Tassy recently and was absolutely shocked to pull into a Petrol station and recieve "Old style" Free driveway service, not limited to

1 Petrol pump attendance

2 Tyre pressure checked

3 Fluid levels checked 

4 A smile and good luck for the rest of my stay

In shock I pulled outa that station with a silly grin on my face as I remember in my distant past the way things were before self service stuffed everything up!

Hey Uncle Bitter do you still recieve 'Full Service" in Fair Romsey??

 

That costs extra in Romsey picket. Also you can never be sure of what you'll get. Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?


  • Author
3 hours ago, daisycutter said:

sigmund would have a field day with you, mr leg

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

13 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

  • Author
26 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

That's what I thought.

6 hours ago, daisycutter said:

how inconsiderate of him after you went to all that trouble

Especially as that means the considerate [censored] missed out on our back-to-back-to-back flags of '39, '40 and '41 ...

10 hours ago, Redleg said:

Think I found something.

image017.jpg

The first time a good friend of mine saw “Professor” Stanley Unwin”, the peerless purveyor of mangled mumbo-jumbo known as Unwinese, he was a little thrown. It was a quiet night in, just us two, the TV & a nice bag of magic mushrooms. Was this craziness his own psilocybin twisted perception or…well, what was this ? Carl was born too late to have heard or seen Stanley’s TV & radio appearances. He had missed out too on the long summer holiday of 1968 when our teenaged gang of four wondered at the circular sleeve (how mad was that !) and delighted in the Cockney Psychedelia of the Small Faces’ LP “Ogdens’ Nut Gone Flake”. It was #1 on the charts for 6 weeks & Stanley Unwin was a pop star. So, “are you sitting comftybold two-square on your botty? Then we’ll begin.”

Hey Red

you have reminded me, I first saw the Professor when I was a kid in Carry on Regardless. Sid James was running a business of handy men and women and this odd person would show up regularly speaking gobbledegook. Turns out he was the landlord telling them they were to be evicted. I remember the whole family being in stitches with this bloke who sounded so familiar but made no sense. 


  • Author
15 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Hey Red

you have reminded me, I first saw the Professor when I was a kid in Carry on Regardless. Sid James was running a business of handy men and women and this odd person would show up regularly speaking gobbledegook. Turns out he was the landlord telling them they were to be evicted. I remember the whole family being in stitches with this bloke who sounded so familiar but made no sense. 

Yes, he was a funny guy.

I just had this memory of his funny saying/catchphrase and I couldn't recall where I had heard it.

Probably not the right spot but my second sporting love is Basketball. I feel a little joy after my team was replaced by a soccer team i.e. melbourne united.

The regular season finished on the weekend and MU has missed the finals for the third year in a row.

Oh joy!

I hope that makes the Tigers return one year closer.

Edited by old dee

In a thread impossible to derail, can I possibly try and derail this one? I have written a thread on drinking in the General Board. Would appreciate comments. $cully, Trump and Hitler were / are teetotaler's. 

 
2 minutes ago, Wrecker45 said:

In a thread impossible to derail, can I possibly try and derail this one? I have written a thread on drinking in the General Board. Would appreciate comments. $cully, Trump and Hitler were / are teetotaler's. 

Says it all!

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen


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