The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Red and Bluebeard 2,084]

17 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

We can recommend a few replacements.

How is your American  (language) ?

Crap, and I wouldn't work for Trump in a pink fit anyway. But it will be worth a laugh or two over the next couple of years to watch him implode ...

[bjDee 1,249]

Just had a binge-read catch-up of a few pages of this thread. Had a laugh or 3 in doing it. Thanks to the regular stalwarts for keeping it going over the off season. And to the other warts as well - the hog warts and the wart hogs, and maybe the genital ones too.  You know who you are.  

A belated Merry Dec 25th and HNY to you all.

Go Dees 2017

[Biffen 12,943]

Yours truly is off to Indochine for a  sabbatical .

I will be lying low in a village of sympathetic mercenaries , reading T.S.Eliot and eating lychees.

I look forward to sending you all some communique from the dense jungle through my minions so please be aware that some of my  missives may be badly translated and this is in no way due to a ready supply of opiates and cheap beer, but rather that my translator has a pronounced nervous tick from repeated beatings.

[Moonshadow 17,676]

Australia's new trade attaché for SE Asia Biff? 

Hope you haven't left Uncle Bitter in charge of The Gat during your sogourn. He would easily sign it up for a shallow transformation on The Block.

[Biffen 12,943]

7 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Australia's new trade attaché for SE Asia Biff? 

Hope you haven't left Uncle Bitter in charge of The Gat during your sogourn. He would easily sign it up for a shallow transformation on The Block.

I am not working in an official capacity Moon .

Rest assured the Gat will be under the command of a lieutenant .

Bitters will not be allowed near the place until he pays his outstAnding accounts with the various traders contained therein.

[hemingway 7,627]

2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Yours truly is off to Indochine for a  sabbatical .

I will be lying low in a village of sympathetic mercenaries , reading T.S.Eliot and eating lychees.

I look forward to sending you all some communique from the dense jungle through my minions so please be aware that some of my  missives may be badly translated and this is in no way due to a ready supply of opiates and cheap beer, but rather that my translator has a pronounced nervous tick from repeated beatings.

Biff, with the greatest respect it is always a bit of a worry to hear about single middle aged men going to the fleshpots. Well we have heard about save the children but to add some decency to this thread, save the locals. And as a decent man, you will pay appropriate wages or tips not slave labour cash transactions like so many exploitive corporations worshipped by those seduced by the capitalists. Or those middle aged men that are seeking nourishment of their material desires rather  than nourishment of the soul. There is no price to be paid for nourishment of the soul. 

[Moonshadow 17,676]

8 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Biff, with the greatest respect it is always a bit of a worry to hear about single middle aged men going to the fleshpots. Well we have heard about save the children but to add some decency to this thread, save the locals. And as a decent man, you will pay appropriate wages or tips not slave labour cash transactions like so many exploitive corporations worshipped by those seduced by the capitalists. Or those middle aged men that are seeking nourishment of their material desires rather  than nourishment of the soul. There is no price to be paid for nourishment of the soul. 

Bit early for a drink isn't it Ernie? 

[hemingway 7,627]

19 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Bit early for a drink isn't it Ernie? 

No Moon, not when it is 38 degrees heading to 40. 

On days like today, keeping up the fluids is important and in the interests of good health.

[daisycutter 29,616]

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

Biff, with the greatest respect it is always a bit of a worry to hear about single middle aged men going to the fleshpots. Well we have heard about save the children but to add some decency to this thread, save the locals. And as a decent man, you will pay appropriate wages or tips not slave labour cash transactions like so many exploitive corporations worshipped by those seduced by the capitalists. Or those middle aged men that are seeking nourishment of their material desires rather  than nourishment of the soul. There is no price to be paid for nourishment of the soul. 

this coming from a nomadic, wenching wastrel 

[hemingway 7,627]

3 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

this coming from a nomadic, wenching wastrel 

Daisy, I assume that your new years resolutions did not include to behave more politely. 

[Biffen 12,943]

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

Biff, with the greatest respect it is always a bit of a worry to hear about single middle aged men going to the fleshpots. Well we have heard about save the children but to add some decency to this thread, save the locals. And as a decent man, you will pay appropriate wages or tips not slave labour cash transactions like so many exploitive corporations worshipped by those seduced by the capitalists. Or those middle aged men that are seeking nourishment of their material desires rather  than nourishment of the soul. There is no price to be paid for nourishment of the soul. 

Not me Ernie.

I am escaping worldly desires, not seeking them old man.

[daisycutter 29,616]

9 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Daisy, I assume that your new years resolutions did not include to behave more politely. 

ernest old boy, you are sorely mistaken. i was merely praising you.

[hemingway 7,627]

8 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Not me Ernie.

I am escaping worldly desires, not seeking them old man.

You are a humble decent man or a con but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.

[hemingway 7,627]

5 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

ernest old boy, you are sorely mistaken. i was merely praising you.

Very subtle old chap, I was going to refer to you in future as Cutter rather than Daisy. 

[daisycutter 29,616]

2 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Very subtle old chap, I was going to refer to you in future as Cutter rather than Daisy. 

human nature can be inspiring and disappointing at the same time. ernest. it is good to see you so imbued with such characteristics.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

2 hours ago, hemingway said:

Biff, with the greatest respect it is always a bit of a worry to hear about single middle aged men going to the fleshpots. Well we have heard about save the children but to add some decency to this thread, save the locals. And as a decent man, you will pay appropriate wages or tips not slave labour cash transactions like so many exploitive corporations worshipped by those seduced by the capitalists. Or those middle aged men that are seeking nourishment of their material desires rather  than nourishment of the soul. There is no price to be paid for nourishment of the soul. 

You're all over it Ernie!

I'm quite certain Biffen is going to Asia for reasons of pure self indulgence and pleasures of the flesh.

 

[Biffen 12,943]

52 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You're all over it Ernie!

I'm quite certain Biffen is going to Asia for reasons of pure self indulgence and pleasures of the flesh.

 

If only you knew the extreme reverence I command in my village .Im more like a benevolent Apparition than  a German in sandals.

The only flesh available will be fish or foul, perhaps pork, dog or frog.

You're projecting your own evil intentions on an innocent once again.

[Earl Hood 6,086]

6 hours ago, Biffen said:

If only you knew the extreme reverence I command in my village .Im more like a benevolent Apparition than  a German in sandals.

The only flesh available will be fish or foul, perhaps pork, dog or frog.

You're projecting your own evil intentions on an innocent once again.

My sources tell me Biff is off to Indochina and will be heading up river in search of a certain Colonel Kurtz who is known to inhabit his village. There won't be much time for revelry I think. 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

On ‎1‎/‎6‎/‎2017 at 9:45 PM, Earl Hood said:

My sources tell me Biff is off to Indochina and will be heading up river in search of a certain Colonel Kurtz who is known to inhabit his village. There won't be much time for revelry I think. 

I doubt Biffen will be heading up country Earl. He is soft and enjoys creature comforts overmuch.

Biffen is a denizen of the dark alley and dens of iniquity and rarely decamps from comfortable squalor .

[special robert 438]

I'm going to Launceston, One of my Aunties friends told me it is a very raunchy town.

[Moonshadow 17,676]

1 minute ago, special robert said:

I'm going to Launceston, One of my Aunties friends told me it is a very raunchy town.

Yes, the Cataract Gorge can be a wild party venue. But stay away from the bushes in the monkey park if you know what I mean

[special robert 438]

What's this rubbish about Tasmania having monkeys? Come on next I suppose there will be lions and elephants as well.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

22 minutes ago, special robert said:

I'm going to Launceston, One of my Aunties friends told me it is a very raunchy town.

Special, you do realize you can't hitchhike to Tassie?

[special robert 438]

 You sort of can. It means you have to stay in the car boot all day below decks.

[Red and Bluebeard 2,084]

6 hours ago, special robert said:

What's this rubbish about Tasmania having monkeys? Come on next I suppose there will be lions and elephants as well.

More likely to find lions and elephants in Tassie than tigers, I hear ... :-)