Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted
2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

except it's not.......jolimont is part of east melbourne (ending on brunton avenue)

whilst not jolimont it is within the city of melbourne boundary (yuk)

Yuck! Buggerissimo!

Posted
37 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

FMD!! I've just seen the left arm wrist spinner bowl Burns. Ignore my above post!!

Should I watch or not?

Posted
4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Not now - bad light!

Maybe we play better in the dark, then again unlikely, as we wouldn't see them coming in to bowl.


Posted (edited)

Here's one I haven't heard before. Thought I'd share it with my fellow perverts.

An old grandad goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you ' said the chemist " but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
"I am 96 years old" said the old man . "I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t pizz on my slippers".

Edited by Bitter but optimistic
  • Like 4

Posted
2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Here's one I haven't heard before. Thought I'd share it with my fellow perverts.

An old grandad goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you ' said the chemist " but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
"I am 96 years old" said the old man . "I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t pizz on my slippers".

How much did they cost you Uncle Bitters?

Posted

If anyone's after a  little  light entertainment, go over to Richmond big footy. It's a real hoot !!!! 

  • Like 1
Posted

Tonight Mrs OD and I went to see the" Go Show Gold" 

my grand daughter said what is that Pa?

To which my daughter answered Just a show for old  Foggies !

Well  after I finished laughing We had a good time. A few have lost it but most were good.

 

Posted

Dear Uncle, Moonman, Destroyation, Hemmingway, Daisy, Old Dee and others,

Was at the "G" Today and was intrigued, to see and hear Jack Watts anthem song was "Come Together" By the BEATLES! 

I immediately thought ,... Come Together???  if it wasn't so laughable I might have been tempted to try my luck!

Fence

Posted
On 30 July 2016 at 4:25 PM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Here's one I haven't heard before. Thought I'd share it with my fellow perverts.

An old grandad goes into a chemist to buy some Viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?"
"I can cut them for you ' said the chemist " but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
"I am 96 years old" said the old man . "I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don’t pizz on my slippers".

Or you could just pee in the shower.

Posted
3 hours ago, picket fence said:

Dear Uncle, Moonman, Destroyation, Hemmingway, Daisy, Old Dee and others,

Was at the "G" Today and was intrigued, to see and hear Jack Watts anthem song was "Come Together" By the BEATLES! 

I immediately thought ,... Come Together???  if it wasn't so laughable I might have been tempted to try my luck!

Fence

I know I'm leading with my chin by asking this, but why so picket?

 

Posted
5 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Or you could just pee in the shower.

That's great but it wasn't a riddle to be sloved Ethan.


Posted

Just thought I would check after banishing myself from this thread for some time. Pleased that nothing has changed. Still the same characters trying to one-up and outwit one another. Too much competition. I will check back in 4 weeks.

  • Like 1

Posted
On 1 August 2016 at 3:46 AM, Biffen said:

That's great but it wasn't a riddle to be sloved Ethan.

Biff what the hell is going on News reports are that the Gat is surrounded by police and they in a stand off with some desperate character! Haven't you been paying your bills?

Posted
23 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Biff what the hell is going on News reports are that the Gat is surrounded by police and they in a stand off with some desperate character! Haven't you been paying your bills?

Just riff raff Earl. Footsoldiers lost in the trenches.

Nothing to see here.......

Not in my sphere of concern.

The odd stabbing never hurt anybody.(that didn't need it.) 

Posted
15 minutes ago, Biffen said:

The odd stabbing never hurt anybody.(that didn't need it.) 

quite true biffo. in fact its beem known to make men out of boys......... (and eunuchs out of men)

  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Biff what the hell is going on News reports are that the Gat is surrounded by police and they in a stand off with some desperate character! Haven't you been paying your bills?

The latest update from Fitzroy Street is the police have some guy in a light blue Hawaiin tee shirt cornered on the roof of the Gatwick Inn. I wonder what this is all about? 

Posted
9 hours ago, hemingway said:

Just thought I would check after banishing myself from this thread for some time. Pleased that nothing has changed. Still the same characters trying to one-up and outwit one another. Too much competition. I will check back in 4 weeks.

Please come back sooner, Ernest. This thread never disappoints, but could use an injection of class every now and again ...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Demonland Forums  

  • Match Previews, Reports & Articles  

    THE ACCIDENTAL DEMONS by The Oracle

    In the space of eight days, the Melbourne Football Club’s plans for the coming year were turned upside down by two season-ending injuries to players who were contending strongly for places in its opening round match against the GWS Giants. Shane McAdam was first player to go down with injury when he ruptured an Achilles tendon at Friday afternoon training, a week before the cut-off date for the AFL’s pre-season supplemental selection period (“SSP”). McAdam was beginning to get some real mom

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Special Features

    PREGAME: Practice Match vs Fremantle

    The Demons hit the road for what will be their first of 8 interstate trips this year when they play their final practice match before the 2025 AFL Premiership Season against the Fremantle Dockers in Perth on Sunday, 2nd March @ 6:10pm (AEDT). 2025 AAMI Community Series Sun Mar 2 Fremantle v Melbourne, Rushton Oval, Mandurah, 3.10pm AWST (6.10pm AEDT)

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 100

    RETURN TO NORMAL by Whispering Jack

    One of my prized possessions is a framed, autographed guernsey bearing the number 31 worn by my childhood hero, Melbourne’s champion six time premiership player Ronald Dale Barassi who passed away on 16 September 2023, aged 87. The former captain who went on to a successful coaching career, mainly with other clubs, came back to the fold in his later years as a staunch Demon supporter who often sat across the way from me in the Northern Stand of the MCG cheering on the team. Barassi died the

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Match Reports

    PODCAST: Match SIM vs North Melbourne

    Join us LIVE on Monday night at 8:30pm—note that this special time is just for this week due to prior commitments. We'll break down the Match SIM against North Melbourne and wrap up the preseason with insights into training and our latest recruits. I apologize for skipping our annual season review show at the end of last season. After a disapponting season filled with off-field antics and a heated trade week, I needed a break. Thankfully, the offseason has recharged me, and I’m back—ready t

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 42

    GAMEDAY: Match SIM vs North Melbourne

    After an agonizingly long off-season the 2025 AFL Premiership Season is almost upon us and the Demons have their first practice hit out against the Kangaroos in a match simulation out at Arden Street. The Demons will take on the Kangaroos in match simulation play, starting from 10am AEDT and broadcast live on Foxtel and Kayo. The play start time was brought forward from the initial 11am bounce, due to the high temperatures forecast.  The match sim will consist of four 25-minute qu

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Melbourne Demons 465

    TRAINING: Friday 21st February 2025

    Demonland Trackwatchers beat the Friday heat to bring you their observations from this morning's Captain's Run out at Gosch's Paddock in the lead up to their first hit out in a Practice Match tomorrow against the Kangaroos. TRAVY14'S PRESEASON TRAINING OBSERVATIONS On the park: Trac Spargo Gawn Viney Langdon May Fritsch Salem Henderson Rehab: McVee (updated to include Melk, Kolt, AMW and Kentfield) Spoke to "Gus" the trainer, he said these are the guys no

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports

    TRAINING: Wednesday 19th February 2025

    Demonlander The Analyser was the sole Trackwatcher out at Casey Fields today to bring you the following observations from this mornings preseason training session. Training  was at Casey today. It consisted of a match simulation for one half  and then a free choice activity time. Activities included kicking for goal,  aerial , contest work etc. I noticed the following players not in match simulation Jack Viney  running laps and looks fine for round one . I think Kolt looks like he’s im

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports 1

    TRAINING: Monday 17th February 2025

    Demonland Trackwatchers were on hand at Monday morning's preseason training at Gosch's Paddock to bring you their brief observations of the session. HARVEY WALLBANGER'S PRESEASON TRAINING OBSERVATIONS Gentle flush session at Gosch's this morning. Absent: May, Pickett (All Stars) McVee, McAdam. Rehabbing: Great to see Kentfield back (much slimmer), walking with Tholstrup, TMac (suspect just a management thing), Viney (still being cautious with that rib cartilage?), Melksham (

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports

    MATCH SIM: Friday 14th February 2025

    A couple of Demonland Trackwatchers made their way out to Casey Field's for the Melbourne Football Club's Family Series day to bring you their observations on the Match Simulation. HARVEY WALLBANGER'S MATCH SIMULATION OBSERVATIONS Absent: May, Pickett (All Stars), McVee, Windor, Kentfield, Mentha Present but not playing: Petracca, Viney, Spargo, Tholstrup, Melksham Starting Blue 18 (+ just 2 interchange): B: Petty, TMac, Lever, Howes, Bowey Salem M: Gawn, Oliver, La

    Demonland
    Demonland |
    Training Reports
  • Tell a friend

    Love Demonland? Tell a friend!

×
×
  • Create New...