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The No T$ No B$ Thread


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2 hours ago, Maple Demon said:

Uncle Bitter is offering free floggings after the game. Gate 7.

I'm happy to offer free Audio Visual material to help heighten the senses!!

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2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I hope this thread will be entertaining tonight because today's game wasn't.

In the end I am glad I didn't get to the game today, given the result. 

 I was on my way to Etihad when Conticha rang to say there had been an explosion back at my Fitzroy warehouse. Back I go only to find my boilers full of Guava paste had overloaded. My man Parker is still missing in all this chaos so all is not well, the search continues.

My attempts to produce "the essence of guava" are still a work in progress I am afraid. 

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12 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

In the end I am glad I didn't get to the game today, given the result. 

 I was on my way to Etihad when Conticha rang to say there had been an explosion back at my Fitzroy warehouse. Back I go only to find my boilers full of Guava paste had overloaded. My man Parker is still missing in all this chaos so all is not well, the search continues.

My attempts to produce "the essence of guava" are still a work in progress I am afraid. 

Hope you did a risk assessment before filing the boilers Earl. Seems like you did one re the game at Etihad and decided to abort. Lucky for you.

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10 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

In the end I am glad I didn't get to the game today, given the result. 

 I was on my way to Etihad when Conticha rang to say there had been an explosion back at my Fitzroy warehouse. Back I go only to find my boilers full of Guava paste had overloaded. My man Parker is still missing in all this chaos so all is not well, the search continues.

My attempts to produce "the essence of guava" are still a work in progress I am afraid. 

Just a thought Earl.

Get the paste made in the cheapest Asian country available and then put your own label on it.

I know its not a novel business approach but sometimes you hipsters need to stop with the pathetic attempts at craft and wise up or else we will see you clogging up the dole queues like the Fitzrovians of my youth once did.

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12 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

In the end I am glad I didn't get to the game today, given the result. 

 I was on my way to Etihad when Conticha rang to say there had been an explosion back at my Fitzroy warehouse. Back I go only to find my boilers full of Guava paste had overloaded. My man Parker is still missing in all this chaos so all is not well, the search continues.

My attempts to produce "the essence of guava" are still a work in progress I am afraid. 

When did Conchita arrive back in the country? I thought she had left for good. Glad to see you two patched things up.

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11 minutes ago, Maple Demon said:

When did Conchita arrive back in the country? I thought she had left for good. Glad to see you two patched things up.

was probably conchita mkII or even conchita mkVIII or whatever. earl is big into turnover (if you get my drift)

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57 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

He who lives in a dwelling with transparent viewing ports should not chuck yonnies dc.

no yonnies there, bbo, just trying to clarify for mable's benefit. it's just very hard these days to retain 457 servants who don't know their place

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10 hours ago, Maple Demon said:

When did Conchita arrive back in the country? I thought she had left for good. Glad to see you two patched things up.

Hi Maple

Amazed you survived yesterday given the company you keep but yes Conchita is back from visiting family in Cuba and she does look and sound different, now that you mention it, but she said that she had some cosmetic work done over there. Her 457 papers were in order so it must be her surely? 

On other matters there is good and bad news to report.  After the Guava explosion yesterday Parker is still missing but the good news is my new Bentley has landed on the docks and has driverless technology installed so Parker was out of a job anyway. Amazing how there is always a silver lining eh? 

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31 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Hi Maple

Amazed you survived yesterday given the company you keep but yes Conchita is back from visiting family in Cuba and she does look and sound different, now that you mention it, but she said that she had some cosmetic work done over there. Her 457 papers were in order so it must be her surely? 

On other matters there is good and bad news to report.  After the Guava explosion yesterday Parker is still missing but the good news is my new Bentley has landed on the docks and has driverless technology installed so Parker was out of a job anyway. Amazing how there is always a silver lining eh? 

Know exactly what you mean earl. used to have a Silver Lining myself. Goddamned nice automobile too. had to get rid of it you know. guzzled petrol like a bloody camel at an oasis. suppose you already knew that though.

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Well I have had a fairly ordinary weekend.

i am off overseas later this week and had a few things to do before leaving.

No problem I told my wife going the footy Saturday which leaves Sunday.

so Saturday was an unmitigated disaster.

However after a cheerie evening with my GD I rose early today to get the jobs done.

Then tripped in the kitchen fell onto my left knee on the hard floor.

i actually thought I had broken my leg. But after a visit to the doctor I have a severely bruise knee cap.

so no work done today and some how I have to squeeze it in with a crook leg this week.

oh the joy of a MFC supporter. 

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Just now, old dee said:

Well I have had a fairly ordinary weekend.

i am off overseas later this week and had a few things to do before leaving.

No problem I told my wife going the footy Saturday which leaves Sunday.

so Saturday was an unmitigated disaster.

However after a cheerie evening with my GD I rose early today to get the jobs done.

Then tripped in the kitchen fell onto my left knee on the hard floor.

i actually thought I had broken my leg. But after a visit to the doctor I have a severely bruise knee cap.

so no work done today and some how I have to squeeze it in with a crook leg this week.

oh the joy of a MFC supporter. 

sounds like a 4-6 rest for you od, but i'd check with the richmond doc first :lol:

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30 minutes ago, old dee said:

Well I have had a fairly ordinary weekend.

i am off overseas later this week and had a few things to do before leaving.

I'm sorry to quote chapter and verse on you OD but I thought that all leave of MFC members during the official season has been banned since the Paul Gardner 'walk against want' fiasco during his 2003-2008 reign.

Do you have a 'get out of the G free' pass I wonder?

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7 hours ago, bjDee said:

I'm sorry to quote chapter and verse on you OD but I thought that all leave of MFC members during the official season has been banned since the Paul Gardner 'walk against want' fiasco during his 2003-2008 reign.

Do you have a 'get out of the G free' pass I wonder?

Opps looks like I should have kept my mouth shut!

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20 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

He who lives in a dwelling with transparent viewing ports should not chuck yonnies dc.

YONNIES !!! YONNIES /? Why Uncle Bitters haven't heard that saying for a loooong time! 

I used to chuck Yonnies at Cats.  My Dad used to chuck halfpenny bungers at em, he hated Cats! 

Funny to watch. he'd sit there with a [censored] in one hand and frothy in the other on the verandah ( we owned a largish property in those days) he wait for any sign of a cat calmly light the end of a bunger fling it at the cat the cat would look at it not knowing waht to do and then Kaboom! Never killed or maimed any but sheeit did it have the desired affect! We stopped having Cat problem and they migrated elsewhere probably the next property

Yonnies! 

GOLD!

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