Chook

Maybe the two teams' coaches have to climb to the bottom of a ladder and duke it out in real, actual tanks. Also they have to wear tank tops, too. That would solve the problem. But, knowing the AFL, the loser would probably get the No. 1 pick, so the two coaches would take the worn parts off the tank (to protect them, you know), rendering the vehicle totally undrivable. So the two tanks would just sit there for two hours until one of them ran out of fuel.

Give it a rest, Dappa. Some of us actually enjoy the entertainment.

OMG! That forwardline actually looks pretty good on paper. I'm tipping the dees by 5 - and I'm throwing a hundred down the gurgler on it too. Wish me luck!

Yeah, but knowing our luck, the roof would probably fall on him or he'd choke on his chewing gum or something.

I hope to hell Jack Watts doesn't injure himself during HIS lunch break. In fact, take him out of school altogether - it's clearly too dangerous!

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Dying seconds . . . "Oops, I tripped." Missed free kick. Game decided. Fans mortified.

Any forward who kicks more goals in the reserves than his team kicked in the seniors deserves a call-up, regardless of age or fitness, in my opinion.

. . . As opposed to the insightful name digga. It's a shame we don't all have your wit when it comes to names.

I believe that's what they call a "knee-related ankle injury."

I know. Do you ever get "So, do you barrack for West Coast or the Dockers? What? You support who? Why would anyone want to barrack for Melbourne? What have they ever done?" I'm currently stranded in SA and substitute Adelaide and Port for the above, and you have an exact copy of a conversation I have at least once a week. Also, see sig.

Trust me. The Hawks are no good this year. I'm not talking "outside the eight" bad, but they're no Geelong or St Kilda. In fact, come to think of it, they may as well just play the Grand Final next week between the two obviously best teams in the competition. And then we can get on with getting our priority pick and get ready for next year.

I never thought the days of me almost dying of fright every time the ball came into our backline would disappear, but they have. No longer do I have to shut my eyes and curl up into a ball every time someone tries to handpass inside our defensive fifty. It's a shame it happened four years too late.

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Double yawn.

Yeah, the guy probably thinks they all look the same.

Where does he fit on your little list there, Ooze?

I think his brain would struggle to compute such a bizzarre turn of events and - with no other option - his head would explode like a robot's when faced with an unresolvable paradox. But of course, YM would tell you that such a thing is impossible. "Cam Bruce," he would say, "is physically incapable of knocking anyone out."

Shows just how bad Fremantle is . . . and how good the Saints are.

I reckon you're right. If everyone was as good as Ablett and Judd, then those would be the roles they'd play. Judd's strength is bursting away from packs and winning clearances, while Ablett's is slick handpassing and sneaking forward for goals. Not to say that either is bad at the other part of the game, though. I often think about this, and the thing I keep coming back to, is that everyone has a tendency to over-correct for weaknesses. Hence our "soft" but skilled midfield of a few years ago compared to our "hard" but slow and unskilled midfield now. The same thing might have happened with our forward line. That's why I'm wary of picking up Butcher this year at the expense of a great midfielder. We may not need the former, but the latter could come in handy.

You are on a roll today, Jaded. Very funny.

Fratratured?

Can somebody youtube it for me? One of the few disadvantages of being a Linux convert is that I can't watch bigpond video because of the way it encodes its video.

I'm sorry, but did anyone actually see Adelaide play last Saturday night? I've a strange feeling we'll be right back down to Earth in a week's time. That's not to say I don't want us to win, though.

The Melbourne website is a joke.