The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Sir Why You Little 37,134]

Roast tofu ?

the kitchen wettex...

[old dee 23,872]

It's like chewing on rubber. (So I've heard)

and no taste as well and I know Bbo

[Whispering_Jack 30,674]

Redleg and I are carryimg out our own independent investigation of the phenomenon that has come to be known as tanking.

Our first stop was Adelaide where we sought to interview former Demon coach Dean Bailey.

We arrived at Alberton Oval this morning with the temperature nudging 40 Celsius even though it was still early in the day. The first unusual thing we noticed was that there was not a soul around. No Hinkley, no players and no Dean Bailey which was unfortunate because we'd spent a day navigating the rough waters of Bass Strait with the aim of securing an interview.

We'd endured the sickening nausea that comes even when a big ship encounters waves of ten feet up to thirty at times so it was a major disappointment to miss the great man but he was nowhere to be found.

Never mind, we eventually found this bloke named Clarrie who agreed to speak with us:

DL: Clarrie, can you tell us about Dean Bailey's position on the tanking enquiry?

Clarrie: Sorry sir but I can't tell you a thing.

DL: Why is there a cover up going on here?

Clarrie: No, no. It's only that I've just arrived here from the Phillipines ...

DL: But you work here. You must know something?

Clarrie: I'm on the cleaning staff. I know nothing about the football.

DL: That's OK. If you hang around this place for a few months more you'll be qualified for a job on the coaching staff. Good day sir and good luck.

Well that's it. A wasted morning in Adelaide trying to get to the bottom of the tanking enquiry.

Still, I think that as usual, we got a fair bit more than they put in the newspapers.

Next stop, Hobart where we hope to catch up with a prominent MFC sponsor.

[Whispering_Jack 30,674]

Of course we then realised that Bailey's at the Crows so we might venture out there tomorrow.

[The Great Pretender 476]

Good luck you two blokes and take care when you visit the Crows tomorrow. They're more feral than the Port people.

[old dee 23,872]

150 not out.

Who would have thought that a thread dedicated to everything non TS would rise to these heights.

If only our team could deliver such success.

On ward and up ward 200 is the goal

and a modestly successful season for the Dees would make 2013 much more enjoyable than the last 6 years.

[DeeM 42]

How is this still going??
I stopped looking at this a year ago

[beelzebub 23,383]

As an indicator of how diligent and accurate the Hun is these days apparently Dakar is now in South AMERICA !!

Meh

Edited January 7, 2013 by belzebub59

[Macca 17,034]

How is this still going??

I stopped looking at this a year ago

Didn't you know? It's a private club . Jacket and tie required and no riff-raff . Swearing is allowed but only with cigars after 11pm .

Invite is by 'PM' only but don't hold your breath . MCC membership is known to come quicker . Guest passes are available on application to the great one - Redleg .

That's my guest pass used up - I'm outta here ...

[old dee 23,872]

As an indicator of how diligent and accurate the Hun is these days apparently Dakar is now in South AMERICA !!

Meh

Sorry to upset you bb but they are talking about the Dakar rally which is now run in South America.

They shifted it a couple of years back due to political problems in Africa.

It is still called the "Dakar Rally" but run throught desert parts of South America.

[beelzebub 23,383]

Sorry to upset you bb but they are talking about the Dakar rally which is now run in South America.

They shifted it a couple of years back due to political problems in Africa.

It is still called the "Dakar Rally" but run throught desert parts of South America.

bloody hell.lol

My bad.

[old dee 23,872]

Didn't you know? It's a private club . Jacket and tie required and no riff-raff . Swearing is allowed but only with cigars after 11pm .

Invite is by 'PM' only but don't hold your breath . MCC membership is known to come quicker . Guest passes are available on application to the great one - Redleg .

That's my guest pass used up - I'm outta here ...

I have been here since day 1 macca and you are welcome anytime mate just don't talk about Ts or the recent on going BS with the AFL

[Redleg 41,462]

I am on a cruise ship with WJ and wives and am told there is more speculative crap on the investigation today.

[old dee 23,872]

I am on a cruise ship with WJ and wives and am told there is more speculative crap on the investigation today.

Yes Redleg but on that other thread please

[beelzebub 23,383]

I am on a cruise ship with WJ and wives and am told there is more speculative crap on the investigation today.

Over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[H_T 3,049]

I am on a cruise ship with WJ and wives and am told there is more speculative crap on the investigation today.

I think we should expect a little something everyday in the lead up to the meet and greet session. It's the nature of the beast.

Enjoy your cruise Redleg/WJ.

[H_T 3,049]

How is this still going??

I stopped looking at this a year ago

You get much energy out of bananas.

[beelzebub 23,383]

Ok here's something interesting, I certainly wasn't aware of these facts.

The Banana plant is actually a herb. How about that, but wait, there's more.

A Banana is actually of the Berry family..go figure .

[daisycutter 29,743]

Ok here's something interesting, I certainly wasn't aware of these facts. The Banana plant is actually a herb. How about that, but wait, there's more. A Banana is actually of the Berry family..go figure .

what's so unusual about that. it tastes berry good.

[Redleg 41,462]

Ok here's something interesting, I certainly wasn't aware of these facts.

The Banana plant is actually a herb. How about that, but wait, there's more.

A Banana is actually of the Berry family..go figure .

And the Berry Street Home is actually next to the MCG on the punt road side.

[Whispering_Jack 30,674]

Today was our last day in Adelaide and Redleg and I were determined to track down the man who held the key to the tanking conundrum, Dean Bailey. However, we weren't going to make the same mistake as yesterday so we looked up the telephone number for the Crows and dialled ...

"Welcome to the Adelaide Football Club. Home of the Camry Crows. If you are enquiring about club membership packages, press one ... if you wish to make a purchase from our range of club merchandise, press two ... if you want to contribute to our special Kurt Tippett clawback fund to help us pay the AFL's disgraceful salary cap breach fine (all donations are tax deductible), press three."

We finally reached a number that allowed us to speak with a human being and I asked the young lady at the other end to put me through to Stephen Trigg. There was hesitation before the voice responded,

"Mr. Trigg isn't working here at the present time ... "

"But it says here in the AFL Guide 2012 that he's the CEO; we need to speak with him urgently about one of your coaches ... "

"Oh, that's OK sir, they should all be in their offices this morning. To which of our coaches do you wish to speak?"

I gave her the name and thought I could hear her rifling through a long list of numbers before she finally got back to me.

"Mr. Bailey. That would be extension one, eight, six ... I'll put you through now ...

A familiar voice responded but it wasn't that of the former Demon coach.

"Clarrie, is that you? We're the two blokes you met at Alberton yesterday. What are you doing at Crows HQ?

"Ah, on Tuesdays, I'm working at the Adelaide Football Club. Mr. Bailey's not here but perhaps there's something I can do to help you?"

"Clarrie, there is. You can empty the contents of every bin in his office and hold it for us. Don't throw anything away. We'll meet you at the club in 15 minutes ..."

We spent the better part of another hot Adelaide day sifting through the contents of Dean Bailey's garbage but alas, we found nothing. Not a single scrap of evidence to suggest that Bailey was planning to impart any of the tactics and strategies he used with the Demons in 2009 on the Crows in 2013.

We did find the remnants of two folders containing 800 pages of fol de rol over which someone had scribbled child-like cartoon characters resembling Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck but there was nothing of substance in either volume and given where their custodian had dumped them, he thought so as well. The closest we came to finding anything suspicious was a banana peel but we quickly dismissed that as a red herring.

So for the second day running, we had come up against a dead end. Our investigation was going nowhere ...

[daisycutter 29,743]

i had a herring the other day for dinner.......it looked just like a banana..............coincidence?

[Whispering_Jack 30,674]

i had a herring the other day for dinner.......it looked just like a banana..............coincidence?

Was it red?

[Elwood 3184 1,338]

I suspect WJ is doing all of the legwork and hard slogging while RL is browbeating witnesses and getting information out of them with menacing threats.

Good luck you two. The future of our club could well depend on what you find out.

[daisycutter 29,743]

Was it red?

hard to tell, it was smothered by a interesting source

Edited January 8, 2013 by daisycutter