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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

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Cannot believe that from what I have seen,  have not read all the pages, that no one has put up Harry Chapin and 30,000 lbs of bananas, 

i had forgotten as well, another wife, another life, far too long ago !

or maybe just the right distance.

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    All I've gathered from the last few weeks is that Moon has been presenting his posterior to the Doctor.

    The last time I did that the Doctor told me it was broken.

    "what do you mean by broken?"

    "It's got a crack in it".

    "I want a second opinion"

    "Ok -you're ugly as well"

     

     

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    Merry  Xmas guys and I hope you all like clams with your Xmas pudding, as Vongole is in the last at Caulfield on Boxing Day and I need a winner. 

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      On 23/12/2019 at 19:45, Biffen said:

    All I've gathered from the last few weeks is that Moon has been presenting his posterior to the Doctor.

    The last time I did that the Doctor told me it was broken.

    "what do you mean by broken?"

    "It's got a crack in it".

    "I want a second opinion"

    "Ok -you're ugly as well"

     

     

    OK, Dad

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      On 24/12/2019 at 23:43, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Typical of that ilk dc - idle. wealthy, head in the clacker inner urban greenie.

    Not sure about the wealthy bit, Uncle. Compared to your stately mansion my humble workers cottage looks like servants quarters.

    And what's wrong with putting my head in a clacker? You should try it sometime.

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    A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels, and orders a fine Pilsner beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a pilsner, great choice. You're a smart man." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" Bartender says "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary..."

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      On 24/12/2019 at 23:57, Moonshadow said:

    A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels, and orders a fine Pilsner beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a pilsner, great choice. You're a smart man." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" Bartender says "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary..."

    Guy walks into a bar with a pig in his arms.

    The bartender says "where did you get the pig? "

    The pig answers " I won him in a raffle".

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    A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b*tches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b*tches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are [censored] off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b*tch in the kitchen."

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    • Haha 1
      On 16/12/2019 at 05:45, daisycutter said:

    i knew a girl who lost her cherry. i suppose that solved the pip problem

    And it is poisonous so dont vitamise it.

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    Come on 2020,   Hope you all enjoyed Xmas day, and I hope this works,   Cheers Go Dees  !!

     

     

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    I see it is bad music week at DL.

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    • Author
      On 26/12/2019 at 18:07, DemonFrog said:

    I see it is bad music week at DL.

    Then listen to Distant Heart by Asphalt Jungle, a very good instrumental, that soothes poor football team results.

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    Variety is the spice of life.    So they say !   be it  Cavendish or Red Jamaica,  think i prefer Lady Fingers !

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    Thank god bananas at $3.99 akg in Clifton Hill Cherries at $26.99 kg

    is this another gender based issue?

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      On 23/12/2019 at 20:57, Redleg said:

    Merry  Xmas guys and I hope you all like clams with your Xmas pudding, as Vongole is in the last at Caulfield on Boxing Day and I need a winner. 

    Buugger forgot to invest.

    How did you fare?

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      On 26/12/2019 at 23:12, Moonshadow said:

    Good to see you back and positive as ever, Toady

    Did I miss anything?

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      On 27/12/2019 at 00:11, Redleg said:

    Then listen to Distant Heart by Asphalt Jungle, a very good instrumental, that soothes poor football team results.

    Or raid Uncle Bitters wine collection, as I do not think there is any benefit from remembering the 2019 season.

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    • Author
      On 27/12/2019 at 13:43, dpositive said:

    Buugger forgot to invest.

    How did you fare?

    Ran 4th, great run, too far back, but flew the last 100 metres.

    Winner and a 2nd last night at Cranbourne.

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