The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Redleg 42,172]

16 hours ago, daisycutter said:

what's '10 days' cryptic for, red? i don't get this new countdown

It's so cryptic it actually means what it says.

[Redleg 42,172]

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well sue the [censored] Red!

Thanks for drumming up some extra business.

[Redleg 42,172]

The recently departed ( thankfully not permanently) and the great garden hose.

[Red and Bluebeard 2,101]

4 hours ago, Redleg said:

That was one I was going to use. 

Stop braying about it!

[Redleg 42,172]

1 minute ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

Stop braying about it!

I'll hop on the bus Gus.

[DemonFrog 1,359]

Do we have a new banner?

I can no longer see the Port player.

[bjDee 1,249]

5 hours ago, Redleg said:

The recently departed ( thankfully not permanently) and the great garden hose.

Anyone good at Scottish accents?

Always handy when trenner make ya garden neeta. 

[Redleg 42,172]

Jack is an easy rider. 

[Redleg 42,172]

Just trucking along. Not quick but faster than the ox.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,289]

At this time of year your  poor  Old Uncle is harassed by vino vendors offering their Christmas Specials.

One fellow, tried to gild the lily by offering a dozen stemless wine glasses if the purchase was at least 2 dozen bottles. He was  immediately dismissed and  told to [censored] off. I mean who the [censored] would use a stemless wine glass? 

Then I started to consider this matter in relation to the denizens of this intellectual thread.

Red  and WJ - lawyers. They would drink anything , anyway, provided it was free.

Biffen - Currently indisposed to due to massive drug issues. He thinks casks are fine wine provided they are colourful.

Earl Hood. I considered him a man of discernment and class but his recent habit of bathing in sake must call this into question.

Moonie. Claims to have an extensive cellar of fine wines but none have been produced in my presence.

dc. Haha lives in Borewood and shags old sheilas. Jim Beam with ice would be sophisticated for him.

Old dee. Well he only drinks free Pinot ( none of which has been shared, I might add) so he would probably  have no choice but to use the glass given to him.

pickett fence. Total lunatic. Would have no idea of sophistication or good taste.

Ernie . A dead alcoholic!

bbub - a tricky one - doesn't give much away. However, as he frequents this thread, he is guilty by association.

The Froger?   Pond scum is probably lapped up - so a stemless glass?

Anyone I've missed feel free to ask for an assessment.

 

[censored] me! Upon consideration, that wine vendor is due an apology!

He'll not get it of course!

Anyway [censored] you all!!

[Wrecker45 3,381]

BBO - a stemless wine glass seems right up your alley. Frees up a hand for you.

[Ethan Tremblay 31,388]

I use stemless for red, they also double up as a vessel for deconstructed Panna Cotta.

[Moonshadow 17,678]

From 1st hand observation, this is how BBO drinks his wine

 

[Redleg 42,172]

Watts on this week?

[hemingway 7,633]

15 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

At this time of year your  poor  Old Uncle is harassed by vino vendors offering their Christmas Specials.

One fellow, tried to gild the lily by offering a dozen stemless wine glasses if the purchase was at least 2 dozen bottles. He was  immediately dismissed and  told to [censored] off. I mean who the [censored] would use a stemless wine glass? 

Then I started to consider this matter in relation to the denizens of this intellectual thread.

Red  and WJ - lawyers. They would drink anything , anyway, provided it was free.

Biffen - Currently indisposed to due to massive drug issues. He thinks casks are fine wine provided they are colourful.

Earl Hood. I considered him a man of discernment and class but his recent habit of bathing in sake must call this into question.

Moonie. Claims to have an extensive cellar of fine wines but none have been produced in my presence.

dc. Haha lives in Borewood and shags old sheilas. Jim Beam with ice would be sophisticated for him.

Old dee. Well he only drinks free Pinot ( none of which has been shared, I might add) so he would probably  have no choice but to use the glass given to him.

pickett fence. Total lunatic. Would have no idea of sophistication or good taste.

Ernie . A dead alcoholic!

bbub - a tricky one - doesn't give much away. However, as he frequents this thread, he is guilty by association.

The Froger?   Pond scum is probably lapped up - so a stemless glass?

Anyone I've missed feel free to ask for an assessment.

 

[censored] me! Upon consideration, that wine vendor is due an apology!

He'll not get it of course!

Anyway [censored] you all!!

If you don't mind Uncle, you make two wrong assumptions, that I am both dead and an alcoholic.

I prefer to be referred to as a "discerning dead alcoholic"

I have had periods of abstinence but to borrow the  lyrics from my old friend Leonard, "I fought against the bottle but I had to do it drunk."

But that's no reason for a reprobate like you to be discourteous. 

[beelzebub 23,392]

As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

[hemingway 7,633]

58 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

A man of impeccable taste. 

 

[daisycutter 30,021]

1 hour ago, beelzebub said:

As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

never seen a urinal like that.........but i like it

[beelzebub 23,392]

14 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

never seen a urinal like that.........but i like it

I think you're just taking the proverbial 

[beelzebub 23,392]

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

A man of impeccable taste. 

 

Funny you say that Ernest.... my new Togs arrived today. Should be just the thing for imminent trip north

[hemingway 7,633]

15 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Funny you say that Ernest.... my new Togs arrived today. Should be just the thing for imminent trip north

Now BB, using the term "togs" is like carbon dating.

Although not an archaeological dig, the picture tells the story.

You are clearly a baby boomer who enjoys the beach in his togs. 

The phallic cactus design, however, suggests some retro togs recently bought. It also suggests a "middle aged man" making a last ditch attempt to establish .....err lets say tasteful masculinity. 

I am afraid that my togs are an old pair of rather thin speedos that do nothing for my shape and for some reason seems to draw looks of disgust or laughter from the fairer sex. I also seem to attract much attention from the men, particularly the male twosomes, who or some reason seem to approve the look, obviously preferring the retro speedos to the boardies.  

[beelzebub 23,392]

Id be disowned Ernest should i ever wear a pair of 'budgies' 

Tbh.  Id disown myself !!!

In deference to impending trip north...and likelihood of spending much time in pool and with the departure of 'that bloke'  i thought id buy some of his Boardies ...hoping they'd fit !!

If they don't fit I'm cactus...if they do fit I'm...cactus....with a bar near a pool....am bound to be........??

They fit.... I'll still be cactus ???

At least wifey can innocuously ask around... "anyone seen my cactus hubby ?"

[Guest]

In other news, I saw that Jake Lever was in Romsey this week, Uncle Bitter. 

 You didn’t take him down to the manor for a few sneaky glasses of rough red and a jolly good flogging?  Just so long as he stayed away from your Wolf Creek style dungeon.

[Redleg 42,172]

1 hour ago, beelzebub said:

Id be disowned Ernest should i ever wear a pair of 'budgies' 

Tbh.  Id disown myself !!!

In deference to impending trip north...and likelihood of spending much time in pool and with the departure of 'that bloke'  i thought id buy some of his Boardies ...hoping they'd fit !!

If they don't fit I'm cactus...if they do fit I'm...cactus....with a bar near a pool....am bound to be........??

They fit.... I'll still be cactus ???

At least wifey can innocuously ask around... "anyone seen my cactus hubby ?"

Wouldn't call her "wifey". That is the name of a famous porn star and her site. Will admit though she is a beautiful woman.

[hemingway 7,633]

44 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Wouldn't call her "wifey". That is the name of a famous porn star and her site. Will admit though she is a beautiful woman.

Wondered myself whether BB was referring to the dearly beloved or a pseudonym.

I assumed given BB's credentials that it was the former. 

Lets face it, it is unlikely that one would be wearing "togs" if catching the sun with the pseudonym.  

Now if it was the good old Uncle, we would be assuming the opposite. 

I must admit, I am also surprised by your admission Redleg that you are acquainted with Wifey.

Perhaps from your perusal of the evidence against a client. Or just research.