Jump to content

Featured Replies

35 minutes ago, old dee said:

Grapefruit bb! That is the greatest waste of stomach space since tripe. That is of course if you can get it past your tongue.

Grapefruit juice is bitter, cleansing and accordingly to Uncle very refreshing after a good flogging.

 
32 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Grapefruit juice is bitter, cleansing and accordingly to Uncle very refreshing after a good flogging.

makes for a decent daiquiri eh Ernest ?

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Don't know about od but I'm rather partial to a sweet little peach on occasion.

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

 
On 02/09/2017 at 0:13 PM, Redleg said:

They would have more luck training down an igloo in the sahara.

Land cruiser?

Not sure they deserve either a Land Cruiser or a Igloo. They are just too soft as it is.

 

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

Of course dc, however, I also understand you have a penchant for well ripened, some might say overripe fruit.

Arrh well .... far be it from me to cast nasturtiums!!! 


  • Author
2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

nicely shaped melons get my vote, uncle

Did you know that a Rockmelon is a Gourd?

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Of course dc, however, I also understand you have a penchant for well ripened, some might say overripe fruit.

Arrh well .... far be it from me to cast nasturtiums!!! 

like a good wine, uncle, i prefer to think of it terms of maturity and i find your comments crassly gratuitous

 

How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

like a good wine, uncle, i prefer to think of it terms of maturity and i find your comments crassly gratuitous

Schoolboy humour dc _ that's all ive got.

Well ... plus some whips .. and some decent rattans I suppose ... and of course specialist apparatus .... and well ....  arrh sometimes I'm such a shallow person.

Time to open another red!


1 hour ago, Biffen said:

How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

More like sultanas Biff 

1 hour ago, Biffen said:

How long has it been since you gave the old prunes a go DC?

Posted an hour ago.

No response yet.

Must be on the job now, getting prunes juiced.

3 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

Had some raisins in my salad at lunch today. Hope they weren't from dc's batch. Did leave a slightly bad taste

23 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Or raisins rattling around in a chaff bag.

apricots please, uncle. i know you are a hayseed but at least pretend you have some culcha. ..chaff bags,......so rustic.


I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

And ...what's more ................ I discovered today that some D'landers actually have the temerity to have me on ignore.

 

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

 

 

i can emphasise, uncle. it must be frustrating to be a teacher these days with corporal punishment not allowed

to cheer you up i pm'ed special robert and told him of your misery. said he would hitchhike up to romsey tonight to cheer you up. that's what friends are for

1 minute ago, daisycutter said:

i can emphasise, uncle. it must be frustrating to be a teacher these days with corporal punishment not allowed

to cheer you up i pm'ed special robert and told him of your misery. said he would hitchhike up to romsey tonight to cheer you up. that's what friends are for

Thanks for your "support" dc.

However, I must set the record straight. I am longer in that esteemed profession - I am a gentleman of retirement. Actually it was a misunderstanding surrounding the corporal punishment matter that lead to it. I thought that young female teacher deserved a jolly good spanking.... err ....... anyway best leave that story.

Unfortunately, despite his exertions, "Special" wont be admitted. Security have specific instructions to keep persons of poverty away from The Manor.

38 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I don't suppose any of you bastards will care but uncle is having another bad week.

   Still haven't recovered from the debacle with the filth

  The lads are unsettled since dc's vile accusations 

  The dogs are [censored] inside The Manor due to the inclement weather

  Neither the maid nor the squeeze will sleep with me

AND

  The tinea has returned

FMD it's a cruel world.

And ...what's more ................ I discovered today that some D'landers actually have the temerity to have me on ignore.

 

 

First world problems, fella.

I do like how you began by referring to yourself in the 3rd person. All class

29 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Thanks for your "support" dc.

However, I must set the record straight. I am longer in that esteemed profession - I am a gentleman of retirement. Actually it was a misunderstanding surrounding the corporal punishment matter that lead to it. I thought that young female teacher deserved a jolly good spanking.... err ....... anyway best leave that story.

Unfortunately, despite his exertions, "Special" wont be admitted. Security have specific instructions to keep persons of poverty away from The Manor.

Hopefully when Tony and Corey and Eric convince their colleagues to declare all perverts and degenerates fodder for banishment to Nauru and such like Australia will become a better and safer place. Especially Demonland. Can you guarantee that once you are banished you won't hop on a boat?????Beware if you do, Corey and his gang will guarantee that Perverts, Muslims and Gays will no longer be able to access our fair democratic land. Then again, you can get either Robert Richter or that Human rights pervert Robinson to state your case.

Look, I don't like you just because of your Photo. I'll now get Eric Abetz to make sure you get deported and banned for life. I think the USA, or, Sodom and Gomorrah is your gig.

Edited by dieter


I can't emphasise enough how much we need to empathise. I just can't :rolleyes:

16 hours ago, dieter said:

 

Look, I don't like you just because of your Photo. I'll now get Eric Abetz to make sure you get deported and banned for life. I think the USA, or, Sodom and Gomorrah is your gig.

Well Skinny, they are certainly bucket list destinations for a visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

Too much salt. It would play havoc with my blood pressure.

 
2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Skinny, they are certainly bucket list destinations for a visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

Too much salt. It would play havoc with my blood pressure.

Who you callin skinny?

 

40 minutes ago, dieter said:

Who you callin skinny?

 

I think it's called 'irony' Ditto


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • PREVIEW: Carlton

    Good evening, Demon fans and welcome back to the Demonland Podcast ... it’s time to discuss this week’s game against the Blues. Will the Demons celebrate Clayton Oliver’s 200th game with a victory? We have a number of callers waiting on line … Leopold Bloom: Carlton and Melbourne are both out of finals contention with six wins and eleven losses, and are undoubtedly the two most underwhelming and disappointing teams of 2025. Both had high expectations at the start of participating and advancing deep into the finals, but instead, they have consistently underperformed and disappointed themselves and their supporters throughout the year. However, I am inclined to give the Demons the benefit of the doubt, as they have made some progress in addressing their issues after a disastrous start. In contrast, the Blues are struggling across the board and do not appear to be making any notable improvements. They are regressing, and a significant loss is looming on Saturday night. Max Gawn in the ruck will be huge and the Demon midfield have a point to prove after lowering their colours in so many close calls.

    • 0 replies
  • REPORT: North Melbourne

    I suppose that I should apologise for the title of this piece, but the temptation to go with it was far too great. The memory of how North Melbourne tore Melbourne apart at the seams earlier in the season and the way in which it set the scene for the club’s demise so early in the piece has been weighing heavily upon all of us. This game was a must-win from the club’s perspective, and the team’s response was overwhelming. The 36 point win over Alastair Clarkson’s Kangaroos at the MCG on Sunday was indeed — roovenge of the highest order!

    • 4 replies
  • CASEY: Werribee

    The Casey Demons remain in contention for a VFL finals berth following a comprehensive 76-point victory over the Werribee Tigers at Whitten Oval last night. The caveat to the performance is that the once mighty Tigers have been raided of many key players and are now a shadow of the premiership-winning team from last season. The team suffered a blow before the game when veteran Tom McDonald was withdrawn for senior duty to cover for Steven May who is ill.  However, after conceding the first goal of the game, Casey was dominant from ten minutes in until the very end and despite some early errors and inaccuracy, they managed to warm to the task of dismantling the Tigers with precision, particularly after half time when the nominally home side provided them with minimal resistance.

    • 0 replies
  • PREGAME: Carlton

    The Demons return to the MCG as the the visiting team on Saturday night to take on the Blues who are under siege after 4 straight losses. Who comes in and who goes out?

    • 211 replies
  • PODCAST: North Melbourne

    The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th July @ 8:00pm. Join Binman & I as we dissect the Dees glorious win over the Kangaroos at the MCG.
    Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show.
    Listen LIVE: https://demonland.com/

    • 29 replies
  • POSTGAME: North Melbourne

    The Demons are finally back at the MCG and finally back on the winners list as they continually chipped away at a spirited Kangaroos side eventually breaking their backs and opening the floodgates to run out winners by 6 goals.

    • 253 replies