Jump to content

The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

3 hours ago, hemingway said:

Strongly recommend pineapples indeed any fruit other than bananas. If you are tempted to have a banana after reading posts on this thread you know it's time to go cold turkey. Also time to go cold turkey if you start to develop an affectionate feeling toward any of the posters, one in particular. And, if after a period of time, you begin to feel this is normal, you definitely need to seek medical advice.  

Written from first hand experience Ernie?

Edited by Moonshadow

  • Quote
    •  
    3 hours ago, hemingway said:

    Strongly recommend pineapples indeed any fruit other than bananas. If you are tempted to have a banana after reading posts on this thread you know it's time to go cold turkey. Also time to go cold turkey if you start to develop an affectionate feeling toward any of the posters, one in particular. And, if after a period of time, you begin to feel this is normal, you definitely need to seek medical advice.  

    If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

  • Quote
    • Like 2
    31 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

    If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

    I've been to Wangaratta best you try Aleppo. The falafel is best no shatta.

    Edited by ManDee

  • Quote
    •  
    57 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

    Written from first hand experience Ernie?

    Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

  • Quote
    1 minute ago, hemingway said:

    Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

    Single malt?

  • Quote

    17 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

    Not long ago I read this thread and I was concerned because I didn't have the first clue what youse were on about.

    Now I'm actually  more worried because I'm reading this thread  and I think I actually get it. In my addled mind that is more of a worry.

    200.gif

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    35 minutes ago, ManDee said:

    I've been to Wangaratta best you try Aleppo. The falafel is best no shatta.

    As long as I can get a shawarma and a can of coke, i will go there.

  • Quote
    •  
    22 minutes ago, ManDee said:

    Single malt?

    You have hit the solution ManDee.

    The elixir that cures all.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    6 minutes ago, old dee said:

    You have hit the solution ManDee.

    The elixir that cures all.

    Good, send some to Stuie

  • Quote
    • Like 2

    5 minutes ago, ManDee said:

    Good, send some to Stuie

    The ultimate test!

    Of course you can lead a horse to water however .....

    Edited by old dee

  • Quote
    4 hours ago, hemingway said:

    Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

    Ernie, if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room!

  • Quote
    3 hours ago, old dee said:

    The ultimate test!

    Of course you can lead a horse to water however .....

    Therein lies the problem, Stuie's horse is so high it can't lower itself enough to drink. 

  • Quote
    • Like 2
    6 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

    If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

    Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

  • Quote
    1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

    Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

    This trip does appeal. I am usually selective about who I travel with. Can you assure me that there are no dangerous deviates in the party. I speak Italian if that helps and I can say " you are beautiful" in Arabic. ( and "thank you" ) . 

  • Quote

    Just now, pineapple dee said:

    This trip does appeal. I am usually selective about who I travel with. Can you assure me that there are no dangerous deviates in the party. I speak Italian if that helps and I can say " you are beautiful" in Arabic. ( and "thank you" ) . 

    can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

  • Quote
    31 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

    can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

    When staying in the shared lodgings organised by Earl on this trip, how does one say "get that broomstick out of my back" in Arabic?

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2016 at 7:44 PM, Earl Hood said:

    Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

    As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

    However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

    An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

    I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

     

    Edited by Bitter but optimistic

  • Quote
    12 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

    However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

    An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

    I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

     

    Nothing to see here I am afraid Uncle, just meticulous contingency planning on my part. 

    Of course we want our customers to have the full Cairo to Constantinople Middle East   Desert experience. They have asked to have the full Lawrance of Arabia experience, camping in Bedouin huts, riding a camel through Wadi Rum and charging into Aqaba and so on. To make this happen I often need to stay in the nearest major city to negotiate our way with the local governors. Choncita, the administrator, extraordinaire makes it all happen of course. We are all about customer service you know. 

  • Quote
    13 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

    However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

    An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

    I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

     

    Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

  • Quote

    18 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

    Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

    Of course you wouldn't understand Moonie. A far more simple register is used when addressing (as one must on occasion) knuckle dragging vulgarians such as yourself and Biffen.

    You will note that Earl Hood, a gentleman of culture and refinement, had no difficulty in understanding my erudite epistle.

  • Quote
    • Like 3
    20 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

    Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

    dont refer to him as the saviour....he already has a 'complex" ^_^

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Good morning genii !

    I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

    I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

    I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

    Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

    ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

  • Quote
    •  
    2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Good morning genii !

    I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

    I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

    I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

    Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

    ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

    tram 109    stop 127

    In your dressed down camouflage and assuming you will travel to Spencer Street; then pop across road and catch the Port Melbourne tram. There is a stop assigned for the oval. Should not trouble one such as yourself too much !!

    Edited by beelzebub

  • Quote
    4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Good morning genii !

    I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

    I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

    I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

    Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

    ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

    I suggest you take your helicopter and land on the ground, in the style of Peter Hudson, with a team of pompom waving cheerleaders escorting you to your seat.

  • Quote

    • Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

    Guest
    Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
    Reply to this topic...
    Go to topic listing

    Featured Content

    • PREVIEW: Fremantle

      A month is a long time in AFL football. The proof of this is in the current state of the two teams contesting against each other early this Saturday afternoon at the MCG. It’s hard to fathom that when Melbourne and Fremantle kicked off the 2025 season, the former looked like being a major player in this year’s competition after it came close to beating one of the favourites in the GWS Giants while the latter was smashed by Geelong to the tune of 78 points and looked like rubbish. Fast forward to today and the Demons are low on confidence and appear panic stricken as their winless streak heads towards an even half dozen and pressure mounts on the coach and team leadership.  Meanwhile, the Dockers have recovered their composure and now sit in the top eight. They are definitely on the up and up and look most likely winners this weekend against a team which they have recently dominated and which struggles to find enough passages to the goals to trouble the scorers. And with that, Fremantle will head to the MCG, feeling very good about itself after demolishing Richmond in the Barossa Valley with Josh Treacy coming off a six goal haul and facing up to a Melbourne defence already without Jake Lever and a shaky Steven May needing to pass a fitness test just to make it onto the field of play. 

      • 0 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • NON-MFC: Round 06

      The Easter Round kicks off in style with a Thursday night showdown between Brisbane and Collingwood, as both sides look to solidify their spots inside the Top 4 early in the season. Good Friday brings a double-header, with Carlton out to claim consecutive wins when they face the struggling Kangaroos, while later that night the Eagles host the Bombers in Perth, still chasing their first victory of the year. Saturday features another marquee clash as the resurgent Crows look to rebound from back-to-back losses against a formidable GWS outfit. That evening, all eyes will be on Marvel Stadium where Damien Hardwick returns to face his old side—the Tigers—coaching the Suns at a ground he's never hidden his disdain for. Sunday offers two crucial contests where the prize is keeping touch with the Top 8. First, Sydney and Port Adelaide go head-to-head, followed by a fierce battle between the Bulldogs and the Saints. Then, Easter Monday delivers the traditional clash between two bitter rivals, both desperate for a win to stay in touch with the top end of the ladder. Who are you tipping this week and what are the best results for the Demons?

      • 87 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • REPORT: Essendon

      What were they thinking? I mean by “they” the coaching panel and team selectors who chose the team to play against an opponent who, like Melbourne, had made a poor start to the season and who they appeared perfectly capable of beating in what was possibly the last chance to turn the season around.It’s no secret that the Demons’ forward line is totally dysfunctional, having opened the season barely able to average sixty points per game which means there has been no semblance of any system from the team going forward into attack. Nevertheless, on Saturday night at the Adelaide Oval in one of the Gather Round showcase games, Melbourne, with Max Gawn dominating the hit outs against a depleted Essendon ruck resulting from Nick Bryan’s early exit, finished just ahead in clearances won and found itself inside the 50 metre arc 51 times to 43. The end result was a final score that had the Bombers winning 15.6 (96) to 8.9 (57). On balance, one could expect this to result in a two or three goal win, but in this case, it translated into a six and a half goal defeat because they only managed to convert eight times or 11.68% of their entries. The Bombers more than doubled that. On Thursday night at the same ground, the losing team Adelaide managed to score 100 points from almost the same number of times inside 50.

      • 0 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PODCAST: Essendon

      The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th April @ the all new time of 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we dissect another Demons loss at Kardinia Park to the Cats in the Round 04. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human.

        • Like
      • 59 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PREGAME: Fremantle

      The Demons return home to the MCG in search of their first win for the 2025 Premiership season when they take on the Fremantle Dockers on Saturday afternoon. Who comes in and who goes out?

        • Sad
      • 373 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • VOTES: Essendon

      Max Gawn leads the Demonland Player of the Year ahead of Clayton Oliver, Christian Petracca, Kade Chandler and Jake Bowey. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

        • Like
      • 24 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland
    View All