Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

 
17 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

Well Biffen your continued existence is a matter of some mystery ... I doubt it can go on much longer.

As to "The lads" . Yes their lifestyle is mostly laudable but to assert (as you boldly do) that their habits are overall, in some way more hygienic than mine is generally  unsupportable. I mean to say, it is only on rare occasions of overindulgence , that I "snap one off" in my own stall!

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bonking with the lads.

Edited for accuracy.

Your missus would probably describe it as 'good news' rather than 'big news'. With your dementia it's possible you may not find your way back.

 

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

28 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.


24 minutes ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Post of the year, without question.

It is an odd time alright. When we were crap, we were all full of [censored], and made this thread quite lively. Now, when there is a chance of us playing finals with two rounds to go, we are all gobsmacked and wondering whether this is a dream or not, and not saying much in case we wake up!

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

 
  • Author

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Well that is the point of the movie.

 


our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

16 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

48 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

you make a very salient point, uncle..... ah, the problems of paganism.....


Sheesh.  Very unpalatable effort at the G.  Probably even more unpalatable than one of Red's black-spotted bananas.

Guess it's back to normal now for MFC.  Let the usual MFCSS programming resume.

On 19 August 2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Immunology article in the paper about reversing cancer.

Actually reversing it.

All that banana cake not in vain.

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

On 19/08/2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Do you really want to give the racists more ammunition?


2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

Ah. I get it. Hydroponic stone fruit. Yep - that must be it.

  • Author

I don't like the bad publicity the banana is getting, because of some Port Power moron fan.

 
  • Author
50 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tautology!

Tauto was one of my favourite racehorses. Around the time of Tobin Bronze, another favourite.

Dear Uncle Bitters, went passed palatial Romsey today ( on business) and spied a gent on the side of a hill on some acreage sunning himself on the Balcony of a palatial mansion with two cucumbers over his eyes sipping a beverage of some description in a state of absolute euphoria! 

Not sure why but i thought of you!!!


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • DRAFT: The Next Generation

    It was not long after the announcement that Melbourne's former number 1 draft pick Tom Scully was departing the club following 31 games and two relatively unremarkable seasons to join expansion team, the Greater Western Giants, on a six-year contract worth about $6 million, that a parody song based on Adele's hit "Someone Like You" surfaced on social media. The artist expressed lament over Scully's departure in song, culminating in the promise, "Never mind, we'll find someone like you," although I suspect that the undertone of bitterness in this version exceeded that of the original.

      • Clap
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 7 replies
  • AFLW REPORT: Brisbane

    A steamy Springfield evening set the stage for a blockbuster top-four clash between two AFLW heavyweights. Brisbane, the bookies’ favourites, hosted Melbourne at a heaving Brighton Homes Arena, with 5,022 fans packing in—the biggest crowd for a Melbourne game this season. It was the 11th meeting between these fierce rivals, with the Dees holding a narrow 6–4 edge. But while the Lions brought the chaos and roared loudest, the Demons aren’t done yet.

      • Thanks
    • 5 replies
  • Welcome to Demonland: Picks 7 & 8

    The Demons have acquired two first round picks in Picks 7 & 8 in the 2025 AFL National Draft.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Like
    • 481 replies
  • Farewell Clayton Oliver

    The Demons have traded 4 time Club Champion Clayton Oliver to the GWS Giants for a Future Third Rounder whilst paying a significant portion of his salary each year.

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 2,052 replies
  • Farewell Christian Petracca

    The Demons have traded Norm Smith Medalist Christian Petracca to the Gold Coast Suns for 3 First Round Draft Picks.

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 1,742 replies
  • Welcome to Demonland: Jack Steele

    In a late Trade the Demons have secured the services of St. Kilda Captain Jack Steele in a move to bolster their midfield in the absence of Christian Petracca and Clayton Oliver.

      • Thumb Down
    • 325 replies

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.