16 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter is busy for a few days and this thread goes to shite.

Now I'm sure everyone is interested in my activities. So first of all I became involved with a lowlife who was trying to rip old retirees like my good self off. I finally extracted some coin from this social parasite but it was a difficult task.

BTW. Said heartless thief is a "contributor" to this board.

Second of all. I was invited to a function at The Braybrook Pub - a very classy venue. Guest speakers Dane Swann and Dustin Martin. I wont paint a picture of the audience but I doubt that they worked at CSIRO or wore silk.

Anyway, to the speakers - one was embarrassingly  inarticulate the other was an arrogant [censored]. No prizes for working that out.

I drank Shiraz so was considered a dangerous pervert.

So no rocket scientists, yet clever enough to peg you correctly BBO.

1 minute ago, pineapple dee said:

So no rocket scientists, yet clever enough to peg you correctly BBO.

Not really. Any bloke without third degree skin cancer on the back of the neck would be under suspicion.

Thankfully though I didn't wear the little black number I originally selected from the wardrobe.

26 minutes ago, Redleg said:

You drank shiraz!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No mean feat at that worthy establishment, let me tell you!!!

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No mean feat at that worthy establishment, let me tell you!!!

If my memory serves me correctly I am sure I was quaffing a reasonable Merlot the last time I visited the Braybrook just before the brawl started over whether you could shoot backwards after your opponent had put the white ball in off a coloured ball. Come to think of it I never got to finish that Merlot, it ended up on someone's head! 

9 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

If my memory serves me correctly I am sure I was quaffing a reasonable Merlot the last time I visited the Braybrook just before the brawl started over whether you could shoot backwards after your opponent had put the white ball in off a coloured ball. Come to think of it I never got to finish that Merlot, it ended up on someone's head! 

Well Earl, drinking Merlot is inviting a fight almost anywhere - certain hipster establishments excepted of course.

BTW Earl I hope the Asian contacts I organised for you worked out successfully. Perhaps a bonus is due?

On 13 August 2016 at 8:22 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Earl, drinking Merlot is inviting a fight almost anywhere - certain hipster establishments excepted of course.

BTW Earl I hope the Asian contacts I organised for you worked out successfully. Perhaps a bonus is due?

Yes Uncle I was thinking the same myself. Please can you pass on your address to me and I will send around two of my people to give you a bonus that you truly deserve! 

On ‎8‎/‎14‎/‎2016 at 8:55 PM, Earl Hood said:

Yes Uncle I was thinking the same myself. Please can you pass on your address to me and I will send around two of my people to give you a bonus that you truly deserve! 

No need for personal service Earl unless Conchita  ( or a similarly hirstute substitute is involved) just deposit into my account.

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

bunking?  good 'ole predictive text saved you again, bitters

1 minute ago, daisycutter said:

bunking?  good 'ole predictive text saved you again, bitters

Don't be vulgar dc.

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

17 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

Well Biffen your continued existence is a matter of some mystery ... I doubt it can go on much longer.

As to "The lads" . Yes their lifestyle is mostly laudable but to assert (as you boldly do) that their habits are overall, in some way more hygienic than mine is generally  unsupportable. I mean to say, it is only on rare occasions of overindulgence , that I "snap one off" in my own stall!

 

Edited August 17, 20169 yr by Bitter but optimistic

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bonking with the lads.

Edited for accuracy.

Your missus would probably describe it as 'good news' rather than 'big news'. With your dementia it's possible you may not find your way back.

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

28 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

24 minutes ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Post of the year, without question.

It is an odd time alright. When we were crap, we were all full of [censored], and made this thread quite lively. Now, when there is a chance of us playing finals with two rounds to go, we are all gobsmacked and wondering whether this is a dream or not, and not saying much in case we wake up!

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Well that is the point of the movie.

 

And now for some real news ...

What happens with your body when you eat ripe bananas with black spots on?

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

16 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

48 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

you make a very salient point, uncle..... ah, the problems of paganism.....

Zeus is very pi$$ed off. The scummers must have offered a bigger placation