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Posted

Yeah right. Like we all get a choice in this. If you have a taste of alcohol or a drug and you think it is the

greatest thing that ever happened to you - like Ben Cousins did - then there isn't much you're going to be able to do about

it at the time. No, I mean like really feeling ultra alive and so real and like "Why wouldn't anyone ever want this all the time?" and try to have it when you can? Many people don't have enough 'substratum ' (I made that up but you work it out) to find anything within themselves to counteract that drive for this incredible pleasure that life is now offering them through this drug.Why do think family are always so flumoxed?

Sometimes, though, only sometimes, after hitting rock bottom, probably many times, something comes along and sinks in with a few people like this

that they have another chance - and they take it - but that is fairly rare.

Benny will have to run out his life as the rest of us probably always knew he had to.

And as someone alluded to above - all our ( conditioned) judgements don't amount to a hill of beans - as the guy said. This is not Sunday School where we

weep about his family.

Posted

Yeah we get a choice.

We live in permissive society that tells us "if it feels good do it". Sadly it is a great lie.

I will be telling my kids that Ben Cousins is an idiot for doing what he does, not that he is a poor old addict that doesn't have a choice. So that they know that there is no grey area, illicit drug use is stupid, end of story.

That does not mean that addicts don't deserve help or even compassion, but before they change they need to realise that it is the stupidity of thier actions that got them where they are. I know that rehab isn't a simple process, but making a judgement about the act of drug taking is fairly straightforward for me.

Posted

I understand what you are saying OD, but by the same token, I don't think much is to be gained by putting the boot into a person when they are down and almost out.

I totally agree hardtack. I undoubtedly would have had a much harsher view of Ben's life-style until I read his book (written shortly after his retirement). That was a complete eye-opener for me, and I now have considerable sympathy for the situation he has got himself into. I just see it as a very sad situation for all concerned. Incidentally, Ben would have to be in the very top echelon of players I have seen in 60+ years following football.

Posted

I undoubtedly would have had a much harsher view of Ben's life-style until I read his book (written shortly after his retirement). That was a complete eye-opener for me

what did he say in his book that changed your view?

Posted (edited)

How did Ben's problem start?

Was it being homeless and alone?

Was it the abusive parents that drove him to drugs?

Was it the hard life, working in a factory all day, struggling to make ends meet?

Was it...

Hang on, he's had a privaliged life, good parents, money, physically gifted and a dream career.

His 'problem' is that he's a party boy. He likes to party and do drugs.

If anyone thinks that's a problem worthy of sympathy, well maybe you need to meet some people with real problems.

On one hand that's right - but I don't think he's really asking for anyone's compassion or understanding is he?

Addiction is an illness, albeit one that is self-imposed. Everyone has their demons and it doesn't really matter what your background is. I doubt he had his first line thinking it would end up like it has the last few years.

I can understand the judgments that get thrown around because at the end of the day the addicts problem is self-inflicted and s/he has control over his own destiny with every action he takes. But once you fall into the habit (and it is very much to do with habit as well as chemical dependence) it can be a very difficult cycle to break.

I will be telling my kids that Ben Cousins is an idiot for doing what he does, not that he is a poor old addict that doesn't have a choice. So that they know that there is no grey area, illicit drug use is stupid, end of story.

Thats all well and good but there's a reason the "Just Say No" crowd and the drug war has failed. The fact is all drugs are different. Alcohol is one of the most destructive drugs around but it is legal. Caffeine and sugar are drugs that invade most processed foods that we consume in western society. Drugs like LSD and psilocybin have many beneficial uses if the user is educated about them. Meanwhile drugs like heroin and meth have no real benefits whatsoever though are highly addictive due to the euphoric feelings they give you immediately and which you keep chasing after the first hit looking to recreate that feeling.

So you can tell your kids that drug users are stupid and they should just stay away as drugs are dangerous but what happens when they have a puff on a joint and realise that its relatively harmless? How do you reconcile the fact that alcohol & tobacco are both dangerous/deadly but legal while marijuana and MDMA are no worse (and in many cases better) but are illegal? This is why "Just Say No" doesn't work because kids are smart and quickly realise that it is [censored].

This doesn't mean you should condone your kids taking drugs or even tell them it's up to them or there are no dangers with drugs, but education is better than simply telling them all drugs are bad and deadly and drug users are stupid because odds are they will have at least one friend if not a number of friends who end up at least experimenting with drugs at some stage.

Edited by Dr. Gonzo
  • Like 2

Posted (edited)

what did he say in his book that changed your view?

I think you need to read the book (Ben Cousins: My Life Story) to understand the context of how his addiction evolved in parallel with his football career. I'm not suggesting for one moment that I condone or excuse any of Ben's involvement with drugs, but I think I now have a better understanding of the life of an addict, and how difficult it is to break the cycle, despite the very best of intentions. In Ben's case his personality type made this doubly difficult (everything he ever did, including football and drugs, he did at 100mph). In his mind, drugs were his 'reward' for the maniacal way he trained and played.

Edit: typo

Edited by Deeoldfart
Posted

@Deeoldfart Does it mention in the book when Ben became interested in the metaphor "such is life"? It surprised me at the time he got inked, as it seemed contradictory to the positive perception I had of him. Seemed like a real downer to me like tattooing "Sh!t happens" or "life's a b!tch" on yourself. I'm a great believer in what/how you think is what you get. Our Jim really had a short life, but by god, look where "Whatever it takes" took him.

Guest Jackie
Posted (edited)

A pea brain who gives the finger to society. Unlike most others of his ilk he was not a born loser who never had much hope. Such is life.

Edited by Jackie

Posted

1 red eye 1 blue eye, he doesn't refer in detail to his tattoo, but he does mention that he has always loved the story of Ned Kelly and his famous last words.

And after reading his book, i believe that he truly doesn't want to live his life this way, but he finds it a massive battle to overcome his issue. (just like all drug uses)

Posted

Bens brain has turned to mush. Ice does that.

Don't expect any rational thoughts from Ben any time soon.

Very unfortunate.

Posted

I've never agreed with this notion of "once a drug addict, always a drug addict". Psychologists and rehab clinic staff (ie. the mental health 'industry') drums this into people with drug problems and it becomes self re-affirming nonsense.

What we think, we become.

Ben Cousins needs to start thinking and believing that he is capable of not being a drug addict.

Posted

Yes. Just like MFC has to think it will win the premiership and it will happen.

I think when it comes to "beliefs", your assessment of the mental health industry is as distorted as the judgement to carry drugs on a flight.

From my reading and talking to doctors the ability to be clean of crystal meth is an extremely difficult and complex process. I have had a couple of doctors who expressed doubts that you can actually get off ice.

I think its naive to make generalist references to "drug addicts" because the disposition of what they are addcted to can impact their ability to remove the addiction.

I would be interested in comments from those that are actually health professionals who actually deal with this situation.

Posted

From my reading and talking to doctors the ability to be clean of crystal meth is an extremely difficult and complex process. I have had a couple of doctors who expressed doubts that you can actually get off ice.

This is the terrifying thing. I've heard similar views from both medical professionals and those who have seen the destruction of ice first hand. There's many who believe that when some people start this drug, it's not possible to get off.

Range Rover is right in a way - an addiction is all in your head. The problem is that the brain is a complex network of nerve cells and chemicals. Once you start altering the balance of those chemicals you've changed the rules of the game, and no simple psychology is going to fix it.

Posted

The problem is that the brain is a complex network of nerve cells and chemicals. Once you start altering the balance of those chemicals you've changed the rules of the game, and no simple psychology is going to fix it.

Agree. As a result I dont think the psychology being applied by the health professionals is at all simplistic. The advent of ice and other really dangerous drugs has created a myriad of problems/challenges and hard to solve issues for the health industry at all levels. I dont think they are being simplistic about solutions. Its more a case of being overwhelmed with limited resources.

The sad thing about this is not only is a talented individual destroying his life but it is impacting younger innocent dependents as collateral.

Posted

1 red eye 1 blue eye, he doesn't refer in detail to his tattoo, but he does mention that he has always loved the story of Ned Kelly and his famous last words.

And after reading his book, i believe that he truly doesn't want to live his life this way, but he finds it a massive battle to overcome his issue. (just like all drug uses)

Spot on Deemitch. That's exactly my interpretation.

Posted

Ben Cousins is a drug addict by choice, his choice, he is the one who made the decision to start on that path despite the abundant literature and advice available. He also made the chioice to hang out with some of the more seedy/criminal types in WA, yet there are many who hold him blameless for his own plight and see him as "poor old Benny".

It was his choice to indulge himself and his choice to choose to hang out with the dregs of society. If this was some down and out kid who never had a chance I'd have some sympathy for him but it's not and he's not. I get told by the younger generation that drugs are ok, they seem to think that you can turn them on and off like a tap, well guess what, you can't.

We all have some sort of story about someone we know getting mixed up with drugs and the resultant consequences, but we continue to repeat their mistakes and think it won't happen to us; well it can and it probably will.

Posted

Ben Cousins is a drug addict by choice,

No. He chose to take drugs some time back.

I bet he's never said "hey, I'm going to be a drug addict."


Posted

No. He chose to take drugs some time back.

I bet he's never said "hey, I'm going to be a drug addict."

Yes, it's like alchoholism... how many of us enjoy a drink and how many of us choose to become an alchoholic? As I understand it, some are more prone to addiction than others as much through a biological disposition as through a lack of willpower.

Posted

I think hardtack that Ben has had a very large amount of compassion over the last few years.

I have a couple of people close to me who have suffered drug addiction.

Their problem has been an on going thing for 10+ years

there is no easy out for most people.

One has been clean for 2 years now and the other has recently been released from Jail.

He has stated "this will probably kill me in the next few years".

Both of their lives have been ruined.

They have made their parents lives and numerous others ( wife and children in one case ) lives a absolute misery.

After 10 years I now struggle with compassion.

For the first 40 years of my life I had never met an addict. My partner of 8 years has someone close to her that is an addict and I can see exactly what you are saying. There has been compassion and help in large doses but the problem is the impact it has on those close to the addict. The lying, the manipulation, the false dawns of "being clean", the constant roads to recovery followed by relapses and the betrayal of family members trust.

I have compassion but fully understand "the struggle with compassion" for those who lived close to it.

Posted

I have long thought Cousins was a self indulgent brat in a culture in the West (and elsewhere) which glorified his behaviour.

No one pulled him up, he was allowed to play fuelled on drugs and so the cycle continued.

As you can tell I had very little sympathy for him but today I agree with hardtack he is so far down he needs compassion at this stage.

I dont like him or what he has chosen in life but I can see its desperation time which is sad for anyone.

Posted

No. He chose to take drugs some time back.

I bet he's never said "hey, I'm going to be a drug addict."

As I said there is ample information available to show that if you take drugs there is a good chance that you will become addicted. If you choose to ingnore the information because you believe that it will never happen to you then you are either stupid or arrogant.

I cannot believe that people would consider injecting themselves or swallowing something that could potentially ruin their lives. I doubt that Ben even cares what we think, he is probably too tied up with his criminal mates and his own search for the next good time it just doesn't matter any more.

Posted

...injecting themselves or swallowing something that could potentially ruin their lives.

Injecting I agree with you on... but are you telling me that you never indulge in a beer or a glass of wine or spirits?

Posted

Ben Cousins is a drug addict by choice, his choice, he is the one who made the decision to start on that path despite the abundant literature and advice available. He also made the chioice to hang out with some of the more seedy/criminal types in WA, yet there are many who hold him blameless for his own plight and see him as "poor old Benny".

It was his choice to indulge himself and his choice to choose to hang out with the dregs of society. If this was some down and out kid who never had a chance I'd have some sympathy for him but it's not and he's not. I get told by the younger generation that drugs are ok, they seem to think that you can turn them on and off like a tap, well guess what, you can't.

We all have some sort of story about someone we know getting mixed up with drugs and the resultant consequences, but we continue to repeat their mistakes and think it won't happen to us; well it can and it probably will.

I looked up the definition of addiction -

the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

I dont think anyone choses this. He chose to take drugs in the first place. Taking drugs in the first place is the mistake. His downward spiral has been because of his addiction not because he has just chosen to repeat his mistakes.

There is no black and white in this very sad issue.

Posted

As I said there is ample information available to show that if you take drugs there is a good chance that you will become addicted. If you choose to ingnore the information because you believe that it will never happen to you then you are either stupid or arrogant.

I cannot believe that people would consider injecting themselves or swallowing something that could potentially ruin their lives. I doubt that Ben even cares what we think, he is probably too tied up with his criminal mates and his own search for the next good time it just doesn't matter any more.

I agree with the first paragraph but would add the phrase, stupid, arrogant or the invincibility of youth.

Its only your last sentence that I wonder about. I do wonder how much of the Cousins arrogance and bravado is just front and if he just dismisses his demons or if he is even able to .I wonder if the knowledge of what he has become does torment him.

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