Jump to content

Featured Replies

Apples and bananas dc! Try comparing pumpkins (or, as the more rurally challenged might say punkins) and golf balls! I've spent the best part of today doing just that.

Poor old Bitter is a tad cash strapped at the moment so the notion of changing gas and electricity suppliers held some appeal.

I've spoken to a variety of people with a variety of accents and it seems impossible to get a direct answer about what said services will cost. Good Lord, I even resorted to studying things called websites.

There is no standardisation in how deals are framed. Even my good self who can claim to be at least moderately literate and numerate is left flummoxed. 

If you crave a little self flagellation, don't bother dusting off the whip, just start researching energy costs

FMD

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

 
47 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

 
41 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

14 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.


21 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

1 hour ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Image result for female frog

Edited by daisycutter

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Image result for female frog

Mrs Frog loves her CC and Dry, but it can only be in a glass container.

 

 

 
10 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

Nail. On. Head.

Well done Toady. You're catching on!

Next you'll be understanding double entendres

  • Author

Is fosters lager still made? Haven't seen one in ages. 


Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

26 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

well at least it sounds like it was consensual, moonie.......but did we really need to know?

35 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

Bet it's getting retold by Demonlanders as we speak. Comedy gold Uncle! No denying it.

Well fellow illuminati, I'm sure you will all agree there is nothing like some intellectual stimulation while slurping down the Saturday morning chocolate filled maple syrup bathed and bacon wrapped croissants.

May I refer you to today's Age and an article titled - "Men- only day spas the new gentleman's club". The article focusses on a New York clinic that specialises in various medical and beauty treatments for blokes - no sheilas allowed.

"Non invasive penile enlargement" is available for a mere $6000 but there is a catch - it only lasts 2 years.

In what I thought was an interesting juxtaposition, "anal tightening procedures" are also on the menu. There is a "laser treatment" option for this.

 


38 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well fellow illuminati, I'm sure you will all agree there is nothing like some intellectual stimulation while slurping down the Saturday morning chocolate filled maple syrup bathed and bacon wrapped croissants.

May I refer you to today's Age and an article titled - "Men- only day spas the new gentleman's club". The article focusses on a New York clinic that specialises in various medical and beauty treatments for blokes - no sheilas allowed.

"Non invasive penile enlargement" is available for a mere $6000 but there is a catch - it only lasts 2 years.

In what I thought was an interesting juxtaposition, "anal tightening procedures" are also on the menu. There is a "laser treatment" option for this.

 

Uncle, have you booked an appointment or two in the American Man Cave?

Do they also serve Australian style bananas smoothie?

14 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

Uncle, have you booked an appointment or two in the American Man Cave?

Do they also serve Australian style bananas smoothie?

I think that's the lube, Toady

Merry Christmas one and all.

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

In my typically festive mood 

Happy Christmas to all my fellow [censored]

and to you and all, uncle

 


In a country that carries the death sentence for drug trafficking this has to rate as a way out means of marriage proposal:

IPOH: This Christmas Eve would be unforgettable for 20-year-old administrator Yew Kar Yee after she saw the love of her life hauled away by auxiliary police personnel for the possession of an illegal substance at the Sultan Azlan Shah airport.

But that is not the reason why it is particularly memorable.

She was overwhelmed with relief and happiness when she learned that it was all just a staged act, planned by her sweetheart Cheung Chan Choon, 30, who popped the big question to her.

https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2017/12/24/boyfriend-arrested-for-drugs-turns-out-to-be-an-act-for-proposal/

Merry Christmas guys from the Equator

 

On 22/12/2017 at 7:27 PM, Redleg said:

Is fosters lager still made? Haven't seen one in ages. 

It is Australia largest selling beer overseas

 

Important article in Fairfax press by a girl who does't like fruit peel in her Christmas Cake.

The Age once again dealing with the real news.

And the ever charming Clementine Ford wrote a gem about being lonely at Christmas (is it any wonder).

51 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Important article in Fairfax press by a girl who does't like fruit peel in her Christmas Cake.

The Age once again dealing with the real news.

And the ever charming Clementine Ford wrote a gem about being lonely at Christmas (is it any wonder).

Can we blame Uncle for this as well?


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • NON-MFC: Round 06

    The Easter Round kicks off in style with a Thursday night showdown between Brisbane and Collingwood, as both sides look to solidify their spots inside the Top 4 early in the season. Good Friday brings a double-header, with Carlton out to claim consecutive wins when they face the struggling Kangaroos, while later that night the Eagles host the Bombers in Perth, still chasing their first victory of the year. Saturday features another marquee clash as the resurgent Crows look to rebound from back-to-back losses against a formidable GWS outfit. That evening, all eyes will be on Marvel Stadium where Damien Hardwick returns to face his old side—the Tigers—coaching the Suns at a ground he's never hidden his disdain for. Sunday offers two crucial contests where the prize is keeping touch with the Top 8. First, Sydney and Port Adelaide go head-to-head, followed by a fierce battle between the Bulldogs and the Saints. Then, Easter Monday delivers the traditional clash between two bitter rivals, both desperate for a win to stay in touch with the top end of the ladder. Who are you tipping this week and what are the best results for the Demons?

      • Thumb Down
      • Like
    • 9 replies
    Demonland
  • REPORT: Essendon

    What were they thinking? I mean by “they” the coaching panel and team selectors who chose the team to play against an opponent who, like Melbourne, had made a poor start to the season and who they appeared perfectly capable of beating in what was possibly the last chance to turn the season around.It’s no secret that the Demons’ forward line is totally dysfunctional, having opened the season barely able to average sixty points per game which means there has been no semblance of any system from the team going forward into attack. Nevertheless, on Saturday night at the Adelaide Oval in one of the Gather Round showcase games, Melbourne, with Max Gawn dominating the hit outs against a depleted Essendon ruck resulting from Nick Bryan’s early exit, finished just ahead in clearances won and found itself inside the 50 metre arc 51 times to 43. The end result was a final score that had the Bombers winning 15.6 (96) to 8.9 (57). On balance, one could expect this to result in a two or three goal win, but in this case, it translated into a six and a half goal defeat because they only managed to convert eight times or 11.68% of their entries. The Bombers more than doubled that. On Thursday night at the same ground, the losing team Adelaide managed to score 100 points from almost the same number of times inside 50.

    • 0 replies
    Demonland
  • PODCAST: Essendon

    The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th April @ the all new time of 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we dissect another Demons loss at Kardinia Park to the Cats in the Round 04. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human.

      • Clap
    • 59 replies
    Demonland
  • PREGAME: Fremantle

    The Demons return home to the MCG in search of their first win for the 2025 Premiership season when they take on the Fremantle Dockers on Saturday afternoon. Who comes in and who goes out?

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 199 replies
    Demonland
  • VOTES: Essendon

    Max Gawn leads the Demonland Player of the Year ahead of Clayton Oliver, Christian Petracca, Kade Chandler and Jake Bowey. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

      • Like
    • 24 replies
    Demonland
  • POSTGAME: Essendon

    Despite a spirited third quarter surge, the Demons have slumped to their worst start to a season since 2012, remaining winless and second last on the ladder after a 39-point defeat to Essendon at Adelaide Oval in Gather Round.

      • Clap
      • Like
    • 271 replies
    Demonland