The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Moonshadow 16,605]

7 hours ago, hemingway said:

i must admit, it is not the Ernest of old contributing to this narrative. I have lost a lot of weight and enjoyment for life. I am sorry Earl for not catching up with you but I am in a mid winter mood swing when I prefer to be alone with my thoughts. I appreciate that I am still remembered and perhaps valued in a small way. I find that I am no longer able to write and my last novel has been shelved. I feel it will never be written and all that I am now able to do is write short posts on this site, particularly this thread that is so ambiguous and full of fellow eccentrics and the odd egocentric. I hope for good news tomorrow at the bull ring. 

Don't get on any aeroplanes in Africa Earnie

[Ethan Tremblay 28,827]

Does anyone else feel awkward when you're eating a banana and make eye contact with another man? 

[Earl Hood 5,870]

13 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Does anyone else feel awkward when you're eating a banana and make eye contact with another man? 

Not me. I am currently in FNQ and eating bananas every day and haven't noticed any men looking at me, women yes, men no. 

[Moonshadow 16,605]

33 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Does anyone else feel awkward when you're eating a banana and make eye contact with another man? 

[daisycutter 28,723]

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Not me. I am currently in FNQ and eating bananas every day and haven't noticed any men looking at me, women yes, men no. 

earl, these days i wonder how you can be so sure which is which

[bjDee 1,249]

And what about the banana Earl?  If it's not straight, it must be an LGBTI banana. 

[Earl Hood 5,870]

9 hours ago, bjDee said:

And what about the banana Earl?  If it's not straight, it must be an LGBTI banana. 

BJ I looked at importing bananas from Cuba last year to overcome the darstardly Panama disease but all Cuban bananas bend to the left as you look at them. So they are not straight but both Castro bothers assured me there is no such thing as LGBTI anything in Cuba, it is just Western capitalist propaganda so if it is bent, at least to the left it can also be straight! 

[Moonshadow 16,605]

[Earl Hood 5,870]

26 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Moons I think Julia should be setting up a consultancy available to both sides to guide them through the art of negotiation first to form a minority government, then how to work legislation through that circus, called the senate. For all that she was vilified by the conservative press and a clod like Abbott who could not negotiate his way out of a wet paper bag, she was masterful in negotiating legislation through a near hung lower house and a potentially hostile Senate. Although negotiating sensibly with Pauline might be a bridge too far, even for Julia.

[Moonshadow 16,605]

Agree Earl. But don't tell the Andrew Bolt love children on Demonland, they'll bring out all the 'ditch the witch' and 'dump her in the harbour in a hessian sack' insults.

[Biffen 12,545]

Turnbull will have to learn to negotiate with people he wouldn't normally P%55 on in the real world.

it's a humbling thing for him and I can only sympathise as I have been through it all on Demonland myself.

[Earl Hood 5,870]

The outcome of this election is a minor issue for me now.

I am reeling from the news that Lois Lane passed away just last Sunday and this a mere 9 months after the passing of Jimmy Olsen! And we lost Lady Penelope and Wilbur Post earlier this year! These are tragic times indeed. 

Why would I care who will rule this place now?  

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

On ‎7‎/‎6‎/‎2016 at 8:15 PM, Earl Hood said:

The outcome of this election is a minor issue for me now.

I am reeling from the news that Lois Lane passed away just last Sunday and this a mere 9 months after the passing of Jimmy Olsen! And we lost Lady Penelope and Wilbur Post earlier this year! These are tragic times indeed. 

Why would I care who will rule this place now?  

As a kid I used to watch Mr. Ed just to perv on Wilbur's missus.

BTW. I'm sure you will all be saddened to hear that I have suffered a number of financial reversals since returning from OS and currently find myself a little short of the aarrh "reddies".

So if any rich lawyers or such would care to help out please send your donations to Uncle Bitter C/-  "The Manor" Romsey. A case of Pinot from anyone in a position  to provide that would also be most welcome.

BTW 2. I was watching the lovely Jane Bunns last night and she pointed out that it last snowed in Borewood in 1951! Apparently there is a likelihood of a repeat performance in the coming week. If that is the case dc will need a couple of grey rinsers to keep the blood flowing.

I also have unconfirmed reports that Biffen may currently be snowed in at his establishment that is not a million miles from Ballarat! His hydroponic horticultural pursuits are also taking a beating from the cold spell.

[daisycutter 28,723]

41 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

As a kid I used to watch Mr. Ed just to perv on Wilbur's missus.

BTW. I'm sure you will all be saddened to hear that I have suffered a number of financial reversals since returning from OS and currently find myself a little short of the aarrh "reddies".

So if any rich lawyers or such would care to help out please send your donations to Uncle Bitter C/-  "The Manor" Romsey. A case of Pinot from anyone in a position  to provide that would also be most welcome.

BTW 2. I was watching the lovely Jane Bunns last night and she pointed out that it last snowed in Borewood in 1951! Apparently there is a likelihood of a repeat performance in the coming week. If that is the case dc will need a couple of grey rinsers to keep the blood flowing.

I also have unconfirmed reports that Biffen may currently be snowed in at his establishment that is not a million miles from Ballarat! His hydroponic horticultural pursuits are also taking a beating from the cold spell.

thanks for your kind concern, uncle. is there any chance you could get the squeeze to knit me a nice alpaca jumper to keep the cold at bay in not-so-warm burwood?

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

55 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

thanks for your kind concern, uncle. is there any chance you could get the squeeze to knit me a nice alpaca jumper to keep the cold at bay in not-so-warm burwood?

As you know dc, I would help you out - were it possible. However, due to the abovementioned "reversals" any sort of requests (from conjugal downward) are .... off the table as it were.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

Crikey where is everyone??????

[daisycutter 28,723]

Just now, Bitter but optimistic said:

Crikey where is everyone??????

probably celebrating like me - had 3 bananas already today 

[Biffen 12,545]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Crikey where is everyone??????

Watching Ice Road Truckers of course.

Any snow coming to the swamps of Romsey Uncle or is it too flat and dull there?

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

probably celebrating like me - had 3 bananas already today 

 

15 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Watching Ice Road Truckers of course.

Any snow coming to the swamps of Romsey Uncle or is it too flat and dull there?

Two more albatrosses around my neck - FMD, as if I don't have enough problems in my life!!!

[Biffen 12,545]

11 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

Two more albatrosses around my neck - FMD, as if I don't have enough problems in my life!!!

Dc is more of a bird of prey .

(not an Owl)

[daisycutter 28,723]

Just now, Biffen said:

Dc is more of a bird of prey .

(not an Owl)

more like an andean condor. the lads should be very nervous

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

4 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Dc is more of a bird of prey .

(not an Owl)

A rooster?

[Bitter but optimistic 21,580]

Actually I have chased down dc's avian alter ego -

 

Satyr tragopan (Tragopan satyra)

Humans may joke about getting the horn, but the male satyr tragopan actually grows a pair. They’re electric blue, inflatable, and form a matching set with the bird’s brightly patterned, retractable, bib-like throat lappet. The male brandishes this wacky trio of now-you-see-them-now-you-don’t ornaments during a spectacular courtship display that is rooted heavily in the principle of ‘shock and awe’.

[Biffen 12,545]

30 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Actually I have chased down dc's avian alter ego -

 

Satyr tragopan (Tragopan satyra)

Humans may joke about getting the horn, but the male satyr tragopan actually grows a pair. They’re electric blue, inflatable, and form a matching set with the bird’s brightly patterned, retractable, bib-like throat lappet. The male brandishes this wacky trio of now-you-see-them-now-you-don’t ornaments during a spectacular courtship display that is rooted heavily in the principle of ‘shock and awe’.

Dc is the type of bird that likes to mix his prospective mate a cup of Horlicks.

[Earl Hood 5,870]

3 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Crikey where is everyone??????

Uncle as you know I am waiting for your paperwork. You know some receipts to verify your excessive expenses in China for a start!  Any receipts for expenses We incurred from your Malaysian venture would be a bonus as we never knew you were going there!!!