The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

13 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

Now Uncle you still have the actual money from your first pay. You never give anything away for free. The real cost is always in the fine print.

I shall happily give you a jolly good thrashing for free frogger!

[old dee 23,791]

2 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

[Ethan Tremblay 30,861]

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

1 minute ago, old dee said:

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

Says more about the taste (or lack thereof) of the audience od.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

3 minutes ago, old dee said:

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

Says more about the taste ( or lack thereof of the audience)  I suspect od. 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

4 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Inanity at its best!

[old dee 23,791]

14 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

For some reason this has posted twice.

WHY CAN"T I DELETE MY OWN POST?

Edited January 15, 2018 by old dee

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

Just a quick note to inform my vast and loyal readership that, come the Sabbath, Uncle Bitter is jetting off to the Asian Colonies to enjoy a well earned respite from  the onerous responsibility of manorial duties.

Fear not though. A crew of toadies is eagerly awaiting the grand arrival and  your good Uncle shall be treated with respect due to one of high station.

Unfortunately all is not pucker. It has come to one's attention, that due to bizarre coincidence, Biffen has also chosen this time to flee to the colonies. Further, and based on good authority, it seems his reasons are more to do with avoiding err... legal responsibilities than any form of uplifting cultural experience .

Nonetheless, it's onward and upward, and given that the hospitality and accommodation set aside for my good self is of lavish standard it is unlikely that your ever kind Uncle shall cross paths with those that frequent common houses and ghettos.  

 

[Ethan Tremblay 30,861]

Be careful not to feed the locals. On my last trip to SE Asia I had a few shots of a drink that contained a dead snake in the bottle. I ended up in ICU, some sort of warning on the label. if it had one, would have been nice. 

Edited January 18, 2018 by Ethan Tremblay

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

Thank you for your concern Ethan, however, the libation you mentioned is more likely to be found in those less than salubrious habitats that one of my station barely glances at from the comfort of my palanquin. 

[Moonshadow 17,676]

SE Asia is going to hell in a handbag, quite literally, if Uncle Bitters has his way.

Me thinks he will come back with an extra servant for the Manor, perhaps what the local dialect refers to as a 'lady boy'. 

I'm dialling Interpol's number as we speak

[Ethan Tremblay 30,861]

31 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

SE Asia is going to hell in a handbag, quite literally, if Uncle Bitters has his way.

Me thinks he will come back with an extra servant for the Manor, perhaps what the local dialect refers to as a 'lady boy'. 

I'm dialling Interpol's number as we speak

Travelling there solo and going a couple of times a year I’d suggest he’s already on their radar  

I collect spoons, if you see a nice one Bitters please think of my collection. 

Edited January 18, 2018 by Ethan Tremblay

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

I shall think of you Ethan. I'm also into spooning.

[Moonshadow 17,676]

Bitters, I thought men of a certain age with, err... how shall I say... a history not dissimilar to that of Woody Allen... were banned from leaving the country.

Ethan, it's time to pull the cuffs out. And I'm not talking about the fur lined ones

Edited January 18, 2018 by Moonshadow

[Biffen 12,943]

6 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Be careful not to feed the locals. On my last trip to SE Asia I had a few shots of a drink that contained a dead snake in the bottle. I ended up in ICU, some sort of warning on the label. if it had one, would have been nice. 

I have imbibed a similar drink Ethan.Fortunately,along with the other potent drugs Asia has to offer, none of them can harm me.Only after drinking the Cobra blood did i realise it contains the venom present in said snakes fangs.I admit my heart slowed to a snails pace but i thought that was due to the heat.On this journey I will stick to drinking Uncle Bitters duty free gin.

[puntkick 325]

gin and bitters, there's an affrodisiac !

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

11 hours ago, Biffen said:

I have imbibed a similar drink Ethan.Fortunately,along with the other potent drugs Asia has to offer, none of them can harm me.Only after drinking the Cobra blood did i realise it contains the venom present in said snakes fangs.I admit my heart slowed to a snails pace but i thought that was due to the heat.On this journey I will stick to drinking Uncle Bitters duty free gin.

Bah! As if I would share my Tanqueray Dry with one of your vulgar palate.

[Moonshadow 17,676]

16 hours ago, Biffen said:

I have imbibed a similar drink Ethan.Fortunately,along with the other potent drugs Asia has to offer, none of them can harm me.Only after drinking the Cobra blood did i realise it contains the venom present in said snakes fangs.I admit my heart slowed to a snails pace but i thought that was due to the heat.On this journey I will stick to drinking Uncle Bitters duty free gin.

Looks like nothing can kill you Biffen, Demonland's answer to John Wayne.

PS. Autocorrect on my phone changes Biffen into buffoon. I blame Stuie.

[old dee 23,791]

4 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Looks like nothing can kill you Biffen, Demonland's answer to John Wayne.

PS. Autocorrect on my phone changes Biffen into buffoon. I blame Stuie.

Now there is a blast from the past what to stuie?

[Ethan Tremblay 30,861]

9 hours ago, old dee said:

Now there is a blast from the past what to stuie?

I think his head exploded.

[Biffen 12,943]

On 19/01/2018 at 8:31 AM, old dee said:

Now there is a blast from the past what to stuie?

How I miss him. His non stop pursuit of equality and moral superiority was the perfect antidote to my actual achievement of human perfection and unquestionable wisdom coupled with my spiritual and intellectual godliness.Sometime one needs a snivelling rat to kick into the gutter to reassure oneself of such a thing.

[bjDee 1,249]

On 19/01/2018 at 2:02 AM, puntkick said:

gin and bitters, there's an affrodisiac !

I see what you mean - something that makes your hair go instantly frizzy with shock, as distinct from the the other type of aphro.

I assume Biffo is the only one with cranial hair, so he may have to provide the appropriate visual effects, a la Curly of the Three Stooges.

Must be an awfully powerful drink!

[Redleg 40,925]

8 hours ago, bjDee said:

I see what you mean - something that makes your hair go instantly frizzy with shock, as distinct from the the other type of aphro.

I assume Biffo is the only one with cranial hair, so he may have to provide the appropriate visual effects, a la Curly of the Three Stooges.

Must be an awfully powerful drink!

The banana smoothie of the Far East. 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,241]

Just taking a break from spreading good will in the Far East colonies

chanced upon biffen yesterday - he was drunk of course and invited uncle to a luncheon

It was a surprisingly decent tavern and despite being surrounded by his shady associates and a poor choice of wine the tucker was rather good

come bill paying time Biffen fell for the old chestnut that I'd left my wallet in my room safe

bwahaha! One to uncle bitter!

[Biffen 12,943]

3 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Just taking a break from spreading good will in the Far East colonies

chanced upon biffen yesterday - he was drunk of course and invited uncle to a luncheon

It was a surprisingly decent tavern and despite being surrounded by his shady associates and a poor choice of wine the tucker was rather good

come bill paying time Biffen fell for the old chestnut that I'd left my wallet in my room safe

bwahaha! One to uncle bitter!

That "can of coffee" I asked you to bring in for me will more than cover lunch.For at least the next decade.An old mule for a hard road say I.