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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Featured Replies

6 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Not sure about that but she got sick of applying moisturiser to her entire body every few hours. 

and not forgetting the anti-fungal cream. ethan

 
2 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Oh, FFS....

Don't understand what ffs means more abuse another nerd, am  assuming the f end with k

 
13 hours ago, don't make me angry said:

Thanks for the correction but do you think name calling is needed keyboard  Warrior, I bet you are a nerd, you would never be so brave to my face.

Still laughing... keyboard warrior, name calling, kettle black.

PS:- dmmas, I would say it to your face, I thought it was funny. For the  record I have never feared a sane human.

 

Edit: Uncle Bitters does send a shiver though.

Edited by ManDee

I am told that Uncle bitters finds it difficult to keep a woman for very long.

Which may be why he had a clod room built at the manor.

 


12 hours ago, Biffen said:

I am told that Uncle bitters finds it difficult to keep a woman for very long.

Which may be why he had a clod room built at the manor.

 

A demonland cross between Donald Trump and Liz Taylor?

 
5 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I'll give you blokes a free tip. Don't give up your day jobs to get a gig at The Comedy Festival.

Now Uncle you still have the actual money from your first pay. You never give anything away for free. The real cost is always in the fine print.

13 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

If only someone gave Dave Hughes the same advice. 

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".


13 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

Now Uncle you still have the actual money from your first pay. You never give anything away for free. The real cost is always in the fine print.

I shall happily give you a jolly good thrashing for free frogger!

2 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

strauchanie.jpg

1 minute ago, old dee said:

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

Says more about the taste (or lack thereof) of the audience od.

3 minutes ago, old dee said:

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

Says more about the taste ( or lack thereof of the audience)  I suspect od. 


14 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good Ethan, however, that advice would have been even better spent on the buffoon (whose name I have thankfully repressed) who played that most unfunny and cringeworthy character, "Straughanie".

He has done very nicely out of Straughanie Bbo.

Looks very bankable from this distance.

For some reason this has posted twice.

WHY CAN"T I DELETE MY OWN POST?

Edited by old dee

Just a quick note to inform my vast and loyal readership that, come the Sabbath, Uncle Bitter is jetting off to the Asian Colonies to enjoy a well earned respite from  the onerous responsibility of manorial duties.

Fear not though. A crew of toadies is eagerly awaiting the grand arrival and  your good Uncle shall be treated with respect due to one of high station.

Unfortunately all is not pucker. It has come to one's attention, that due to bizarre coincidence, Biffen has also chosen this time to flee to the colonies. Further, and based on good authority, it seems his reasons are more to do with avoiding err... legal responsibilities than any form of uplifting cultural experience .

Nonetheless, it's onward and upward, and given that the hospitality and accommodation set aside for my good self is of lavish standard it is unlikely that your ever kind Uncle shall cross paths with those that frequent common houses and ghettos.  

 

Be careful not to feed the locals. On my last trip to SE Asia I had a few shots of a drink that contained a dead snake in the bottle. I ended up in ICU, some sort of warning on the label. if it had one, would have been nice. 

Edited by Ethan Tremblay

Thank you for your concern Ethan, however, the libation you mentioned is more likely to be found in those less than salubrious habitats that one of my station barely glances at from the comfort of my palanquin. 


SE Asia is going to hell in a handbag, quite literally, if Uncle Bitters has his way.

Me thinks he will come back with an extra servant for the Manor, perhaps what the local dialect refers to as a 'lady boy'. 

I'm dialling Interpol's number as we speak

31 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

SE Asia is going to hell in a handbag, quite literally, if Uncle Bitters has his way.

Me thinks he will come back with an extra servant for the Manor, perhaps what the local dialect refers to as a 'lady boy'. 

I'm dialling Interpol's number as we speak

Travelling there solo and going a couple of times a year I’d suggest he’s already on their radar :) 

I collect spoons, if you see a nice one Bitters please think of my collection. 

Edited by Ethan Tremblay

 

Bitters, I thought men of a certain age with, err... how shall I say... a history not dissimilar to that of Woody Allen... were banned from leaving the country.

Ethan, it's time to pull the cuffs out. And I'm not talking about the fur lined ones

Edited by Moonshadow

6 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

Be careful not to feed the locals. On my last trip to SE Asia I had a few shots of a drink that contained a dead snake in the bottle. I ended up in ICU, some sort of warning on the label. if it had one, would have been nice. 

I have imbibed a similar drink Ethan.Fortunately,along with the other potent drugs Asia has to offer, none of them can harm me.Only after drinking the Cobra blood did i realise it contains the venom present in said snakes fangs.I admit my heart slowed to a snails pace but i thought that was due to the heat.On this journey I will stick to drinking Uncle Bitters duty free gin.


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