Jump to content

Featured Replies

Geelong is like a smaller ,more scummy Melbourne without any discernable intelligentsia .Or any at all. 

The best part about going to Geelong is leaving it 

 

 

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

Edited by picket fence

6 minutes ago, picket fence said:

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

There's a rumour going around that uncle bitter is a naturalist (a very cold naturalist) and he might Skype Grapeviney and Andy for this week's podcast. In that case, let's hope he doesn't sit too far back from the ipad

 
17 hours ago, picket fence said:

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

You know nothing about fine living picket.

Logs!!! FMD!! One simply adjusts the climate control.

And.. I'll have you know I only quaff good quality booze. (usually anyway... well sometimes)

On 07/04/2017 at 6:56 PM, Moonshadow said:

And then the punches flew, and chairs were smashed in two! 

There was blood and a single gunshot but just who shot who ?????  I'll bet you Jack Watts was involved in it !!!!!!


2 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

There was blood and a single gunshot but just who shot who ?????  I'll bet you Jack Watts was involved in it !!!!!!

Is this a remake of Who shot Liberty Valence? 

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Is this a remake of Who shot Liberty Valence? 

It's something about the Carlton Banner. Or the Crows Banner. Or a coconut banana.  Something like that I think. 

A woman says to the mortician, "I've got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I'd really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here's a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit."

The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and then she leaves. Now a second woman comes in and says, "I know I've brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I've always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?"

The mortician assures her that it's not a problem and the second woman thanks him and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man's funeral and his widow walks up and says, "Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him."

The mortician replies, "Of course, I was happy to do it. And here's your check back."

"No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need."

"Oh no really, it didn't cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads."

Edited by Moonshadow

 

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Actually dc, given the standard of Moonie's jokes, that one is a real thigh slapper.

who ever heard of anyone in the undertaking business returning a cheque, blank or not?

That was a painful undertaking for us all thanks Moon.

 

48 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

who ever heard of anyone in the undertaking business returning a cheque, blank or not?

 

41 minutes ago, Biffen said:

That was a painful undertaking for us all thanks Moon.

 

Let's just bury it now.

As a Comedic performer,nobody is more qualified to talk about death than our Moon.

1 hour ago, Biffen said:

As a Comedic performer,nobody is more qualified to talk about death than our Moon.

I'm mortified you think that way Biffen.


29 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

I'm mortified you think that way Biffen.

That's a bit stiff, even for Biff.

10 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar together. It was tense...

I think you need a beverage.?

  • Author

Think we need to win this one!

Pretty profound in the midst of all this side splitting mirth.

Edited by Redleg

Oh dear, and I had such high hopes for yesterday.

I should have read the omens when a teenage couple sat near me on the train in from Scumbury and I was mesmerised by the young lady spending most of the journey squeezing pimples on her boyfriend's face.

Still there was hope because I knew my uncouth hangers on weren't attending. Then there were the two shabbily dressed and smelly fellows

scurrying about on their knees stealing  children's Easter Eggs. (Special and Squirrel I'm guessing)

And then there was the football. Despite guzzling a gutfull I couldn't dull that particular pain.

Ugh! Just thinking about!

Haven't been so disappointed in a game since .... well since last week.


Similar feelings BBO but not so prevalent with obvious omens.

Isolated myself from the festivities of Beechworth where friends had gathered. Didn't locate to the local match to maintain focus on the match which was at least being broadcast on the ABC.

Disruption as others returned meant I missed the sequence of events from a 21 point lead to a 6 point deficit!

 

I blame myself.

So much optimism. so little reward?

Champion teams find a way to win. (Look at the doggies this week)

We just need to find that feature but at least we are getting closer.

 

is there any point in flogging the obvious?

4s04g3.jpg

dont think I will either !!

  • Author
21 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

4s04g3.jpg

dont think I will either !!

And the AFL do nothing about this abuse.

 
On 14/04/2017 at 8:36 PM, Redleg said:

Think we need to win this one!

Pretty profound in the midst of all this side splitting mirth.

Red, how many days until the 2018 AFL season starts?

Ive swallowed dozens of those in Asia .Didn't cost me anything.


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • NON-MFC: Round 12

    Round 12 kicks off with the Brisbane hosting Essendon at the Gabba as the Lions aim to solidify their top-two position against an injury-hit Bombers side seeking to maintain momentum after a win over Richmond. On Friday night it's a blockbuster at the G as the Magpies look to extend their top of the table winning streak while the Hawks strive to bounce back from a couple of recent defeats and stay in contention for the Top 4. On Saturday the Suns, buoyed by 3 wins on the trot, face the Dockers in a clash crucial for both teams' aspirations this season. The Suns want to solidify their Top 4 standing whilst the Dockers will be desperate to break into the 8.

    • 118 replies
  • PREVIEW: St. Kilda

    The media has performed a complete reversal in its coverage of the Melbourne Football Club over the past month and a half. Having endured intense criticism from all quarters in the press, which continually identified new avenues for scrutiny of every aspect, both on and off the field, and prematurely speculated about the departures of coaches, players, officials, and various employees from a club that lost its first five matches and appeared out of finals contention, the narrative has suddenly shifted to one of unbridled optimism.  The Demons have won five of their last six matches, positioning themselves just one game (and a considerable amount of percentage) outside the top eight at the halfway mark of the season. They still trail the primary contenders and remain far from assured of a finals berth.

      • Clap
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 12 replies
  • REPORT: Sydney

    A few weeks ago, I visited a fellow Melbourne Football Club supporter in hospital, and our conversation inevitably shifted from his health diagnosis to the well-being of our football team. Like him, Melbourne had faced challenges in recent months, but an intervention - in his case, surgery, and in the team's case, a change in game style - had brought about much improvement.  The team's professionals had altered its game style from a pedestrian and slow-moving approach, which yielded an average of merely 60 points for five winless games, to a faster and more direct style. This shift led to three consecutive wins and a strong competitive effort in the fourth game, albeit with a tired finish against Hawthorn, a strong premiership contender.  As we discussed our team's recent health improvement, I shared my observations on the changes within the team, including the refreshed style, the introduction of new young talent, such as rising stars Caleb Windsor, Harvey Langford, and Xavier Lindsay, and the rebranding of Kozzy Pickett from a small forward to a midfield machine who can still get among the goals. I also highlighted the dominance of captain Max Gawn in the ruck and the resurgence in form in a big way of midfield superstars Christian Petracca and Clayton Oliver. 

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 9 replies
  • PODCAST: Sydney

    The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 26th May @ 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we analyse a crushing victory by the Demons over the Swans at the G. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 51 replies
  • POSTGAME: Sydney

    The Demons controlled the contest from the outset, though inaccurate kicking kept the Swans in the game until half time. But after the break, Melbourne put on the jets and blew Sydney away and the demolition job was complete.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Like
    • 428 replies
  • VOTES: Sydney

    Max Gawn still has an almost unassailable lead in the Demonland Player of the Year award. Jake Bowey, Christian Petracca, Harvey Langford, Kade Chandler & Ed Langdon round out the Top 5. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

      • Thanks
    • 46 replies