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The No T$ No B$ Thread

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  • Author
11 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Mmm ... yes ..well. Perhaps some instruction via Redtube may be necessary.

You see the whole point of having a whip (or other such device) is to be the chainer rather than the chainee.

Thought I was doing it wrong. 

 
2 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Mmm ... yes ..well. Perhaps some instruction via Redtube may be necessary.

You see the whole point of having a whip (or other such device) is to be the chainer rather than the chainee.

This 'topic' is like Sodom and Gomorrah. Shame on you pillars of salt!

 
On 6 March 2017 at 7:31 PM, special robert said:

The Gat........ I could only dream of living there...as it is I live under the freeway at the end of spencer st hoping BBO will come....one day..... and take me away to Romsey....to the Manor.

Oh living under a bridge are we, sheer luxury, I say, Special. We grew up, whole family living in a shoe box on main road, up at dawn, off to mill, work all day, back for tea but there weren't none, just some coal to munch on, then a good flogging for our troubles. Aye sheer luxury these days! 


1 minute ago, Earl Hood said:

Oh living under a bridge are we, sheer luxury, I say, Special. We grew up, whole family living in a shoe box on main road, up at dawn, off to mill, work all day, back for tea but there weren't none, just some coal to munch on, then a good flogging for our troubles. Aye sheer luxury these days! 

Yes I'm certain you did it tough Earl! However, now that you are wonderfully rich, I'm sure your social conscience would compel you to, as Moonie mentioned above, find a place for Special.

I imagine he'll promise not to molest Conchita.

1 minute ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Those two places are on my bucket list.

Is that like a Phucket list? I'm confused. I am an innocent lad brought up in North Sunshine, Albion, Sunbury - the dreaded Salesians where I became the world's greatest cricketer - and all this from the humble origins of Klagenfurt and Rischweiller. You must agree I have come a long f...king way. To what avail? What, to end up on this site of whachko screwballs  exchanging flatulence like platitudes, all under the smoko screen that we follow the same team the noble Barassi once played for?

Then again, though I have mixed with prime ministers, presidents, headmasters, goons and gangsters, Bond-like entrepreneurs, Academy award winners, the greatest almost Grange-like wine makers of this fair land, attended dinners hosted by Premiers of this state in honour of the literary capabilities of my Polish born wife, I come back to this site, mainly to cross swords with the Prodees and the Wreckers and the Biffmen who forget that the church of Demons is a multi denominational and multi gendered and multi cultured. We won't even mention the LGBTIKHGFK word.

6 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Yes I'm certain you did it tough Earl! However, now that you are wonderfully rich, I'm sure your social conscience would compel you to, as Moonie mentioned above, find a place for Special.

I imagine he'll promise not to molest Conchita.

Is that the pet dachshund or what?

 
Just now, dieter said:

Is that the pet dachshund or what?

As I understand it skinny, it is a very complex relationship ( Conchita being hirstute and all) but pet dachshund maybe a reasonable way of looking at it.

Anyway, [censored] you all, Uncle is retiring for the night.

BTW, I believe Biffen is currently in transit from the colonies. He is flying cattle class ( whatever that is) with a bevy of 457 "nail technicians". Look for some "air rage" headlines tomorrow.


7 minutes ago, dieter said:

Is that the pet dachshund or what?

Dieter, please! Conchita is my number one assistant and confidant. She is extremely skilled, a great organiser and communicator. She is of Spanish origins and yes is somewhat hirsute, ok she has a beard but she sings like an angle. But these days we are all about diversity, yes?

However I know this diversity may be a bridge too far for youse people? 

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Dieter, please! Conchita is my number one assistant and confidant. She is extremely skilled, a great organiser and communicator. She is of Spanish origins and yes is somewhat hirsute, ok she has a beard but she sings like an angle. But these days we are all about diversity, yes?

However I know this diversity may be a bridge too far for youse people? 

That's a bit obtuse Earl!

Wow. So much of nothing on this thread, then the dam bursts.

its a bit like Sydney leading into the Mardi Gras. Or so I'm told. 

8 hours ago, Redleg said:

Unfortunately. 

The footy season can't start soon enough, eh? :)

22 minutes ago, bjDee said:

Wow. So much of nothing on this thread, then the dam bursts.

its a bit like Sydney leading into the Mardi Gras. Or so I'm told. 

Just when you think this thread has quiesced and couldn't get weirder, it proves you wrong on both counts! And what is so special about a fat Tuesday in Parramatta? :)


2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Oh living under a bridge are we, sheer luxury, I say, Special. We grew up, whole family living in a shoe box on main road, up at dawn, off to mill, work all day, back for tea but there weren't none, just some coal to munch on, then a good flogging for our troubles. Aye sheer luxury these days! 

And try and tell that to the young people of today.....would they believe you.....No!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

12 hours ago, Biffen said:

What a truly depressing day.

Time to leave you see,and say ta ta to all my unhired help.

Saying goodbye to virtually free cigarettes,notably these Kent "switch" things that contain a small capsule of menthol in the filter,the cracking of which is as addictive and pleasurable as the nicotine.Saves on toothpaste.

Au revoir to my Little restaurant on the river where my every culinary fantasy is eagerly indulged with the point of a finger at a photo,then ruined with a little twist of their own.Last night For example,a plate of French fries presented with a [censored] of butter and  some sugar on a side dish,no sauce and evidently,no salt.

Goodbye to my blinking pal De, who runs the restaurant when he isn't drinking with the clients or off down the road for a relaxing massage in his Audi,which I must have financed over the years ,mostly the early times when I was charged double or triple rates.

De and his 9 or 12 brothers manage a dream life flitting between Paris and the Delta,exporting various tacky bits of furniture ,knick knacks,and probably some other medicinal materials if the recent renovations to the house are any guide.The junkies of Paris can consider themselves fortunate they have their own Franco Cozzo business model in Europe.Not having to deal with the Afghan supply chain must save them from commiting several burglaries per month.

Goodbye to the obnoxious ,mooching bastard next door,whom I only tolerate in the hope of bedding one of his daughters one day.His ability to sniff the scent of a freshly opened beer bottle is truly a gift and makes up for his hacking cough,obtained through gratis smokes donated by village idiots like myself ,though there is ample competition for the title here..

His counterpart, the other bastard next door manages his own tobacco needs and beer somehow but he has made the dreadful mistake of demolishing his own house before having somewhere comfortable to stay in the interim.Roof tiles have been cleverly used as a type of terra cotta pebble mix to avoid cartage,though I did persuade him to save some ancient teak beams from the firewood stock-hand carved centuries ago at a guess.Iwont miss looking at his rotten front tooth or hearing his terrible broken English,the glorious tales of his cousin in Sydney or the virtues of Communism.

   The beer wench opposite will no doubt miss me,her face lighting up at the prospect of my custom ,which is often twice daily.The Saigon stuff is quite tolerable and the crates hold 16 bottles .You would think 16 enough for my immediate needs but moocher and friends always assist.Beer wench is a stout woman of about 50,very tanned,and charmingly informally dressed in floral pyjamas.

Won't miss the erratic power supply and low voltage output playing havoc with the rotten iPad and it's impertinent predictive text function,nor the foul odour of the Thay Ninh rubber company boiling latex daily in the 35 degree heat,the various village karaoke machines set to deafening volumes and the various stars and starlets who produce less harmonious tones than the stray dogs and Roosters manage every morning.

 

I think Biffen is really Jack Kerouac, being channelled by a Mong shaman.....Have I got this right.?...you are coming back from Mandalay for the real business, which is about to begin at Jihad stadium in a couple of weeks?

On 3/6/2017 at 5:31 PM, special robert said:

The Gat........ I could only dream of living there...as it is I live under the freeway at the end of spencer st hoping BBO will come....one day..... and take me away to Romsey....to the Manor.

Don't be misled Special Robert. It's all fun, games, lamas, S&M and red wine until he leads you towards his Mick Taylor dungeon.

7 hours ago, Colin B. Flaubert said:

Don't be misled Special Robert. It's all fun, games, lamas, S&M and red wine until he leads you towards his Mick Taylor dungeon.

Colin, you do exaggerate ........ a bit.

Long time reader. first time poster on this thread (I think!).

But, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge our female posters, and those that are a bit unsure (you know who you are), on this day, International Women's Day for 2017.

At the risk of getting in to a political argument, it's great to see so much publicity these days trying to get gender equality to the levels that it should be, because without the wonderful women in our life, none of us would be here today.

 

 

 

ironshirt.jpg


10 hours ago, bjDee said:

That's a bit obtuse Earl!

Or like an isosceles triangle, perhaps?

Billy, there you go throwing a chip at a flock of seagulls. Stand back!

58 minutes ago, billy2803 said:

Long time reader. first time poster on this thread (I think!).

But, it would be remiss of me not to acknowledge our female posters, and those that are a bit unsure (you know who you are), on this day, International Women's Day for 2017.

At the risk of getting in to a political argument, it's great to see so much publicity these days trying to get gender equality to the levels that it should be, because without the wonderful women in our life, none of us would be here today.

 

 

 

ironshirt.jpg

I believe you are looking at 2 month holiday there billy. If you read through Demonland forum rules, you will find that anything not completely banal, reeking of in joke (which includes talk of hipsters, the Gat, llamas, bananas, and/or shagging old age pensioners) or if content looms towards the sanity end of the conversational spectrum will be treated as a bannable offence if included in the NO T$ NO BS thread.

Moderators, the ball is in your court.

 

Ok. As this IS Womens Day and a mention of Hipsters made, I'm curious. 

If the male variant leans towards the fashionable ( if almost twee ) whilst sportinf his magnificent chin locks within an overall manicured look. What of women ? How do they present ?

3 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Ok. As this IS Womens Day and a mention of Hipsters made, I'm curious. 

If the male variant leans towards the fashionable ( if almost twee ) whilst sportinf his magnificent chin locks within an overall manicured look. What of women ? How do they present ?

i'm no expert, bub, but i found this on hipster girls

and here is a lego view  The-Bartendress-Cover-muge4sgv3ez7bl7xko


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