Little Goffy

Worse. It took me to the Herald Sun.

It's a bleeping training montage with a few cliche talking points. Seriously, some people on here would lose the plot if they found out another club had reportedly trained the house down. I must admit that 'substandard Melbourne FC comms team fail to show our players waiting at a crossing light' wasn't on my bingo card for 2023.

Where's that forehead slap emoji gone when I need it? 🦃 I actually had a moment of trying to figure out why 'Louis Lyle Gawn' was a funny suggestion. Good news. It's not.

No name revealed yet. Submit your entries! Still a chance they'll go with Dalf. I still think they should name at least one kid Dalf. And maybe also a Fishen.

The photo shared on the club's facebook page is just stunning. As is Ardu, for that matter! One of those smiles that makes you feel like bringing them little gifts all day. Congratulations to all, and as Demons we all appreciate the considerate non-september timing!

We really need to commit to Gawn as ruck/defensive half interceptor, and using a forward as a ruck for stoppages in attack. Makes the most efficient use of Gawn and gives us a chance to develop ruckcraft in our other talls. Get our shiny new swarm of mid-sized half-forwards drilled to run together, drawing opponents to release each other, picking the freshest one to go for the fast-break into space close to goal, arriving hot to the fall of the ball, and being a constant obstruction to any opposition movement out of their defence. Play a 2xCHF tall forward structure with alternating duties of long leads vs remaining 'on station' so that our breakaways from defence and midfield always have a predictable get-out option.

In Maynard's case that would also put him into concussion protocols.

Reality: It was a deliberate high-impact bump to the head. AFL: For important commercial and boys' club reasons, it was an honest smother gone tragically, accidentally, and innocently wrong. Reality: It was a deliberate high-impact bump to the head. AFL: Because of how much this was an honest smother gone tragically, accidentally and innocently wrong, we will now introduce new laws penalising honest smothers gone tragically, accidentally and innocently wrong. Reality: I will now punish genuine accidents. Eddie McGuire: "Justice has been served"

Bailey Smith's ACL has just opened the door for Harmes at the Bulldogs while also reducing the chances that the trade could come back to bite us. I'm still kind of hoping things work out well for Harmes individually. Especially if he has a bunch of performance triggers in his contract to soak up some salary cap space so that the Dogs can't afford to keep Tim English!

I was about to comment about Pickett looking ripped and then got to the pictures of Rivers. Body transformation stuff. Bowey also doing the Dustin Fletcher style sinewy muscle, so presumably we can expect another 30+ years of good football from him.

Our 'actually playing' finals teams were 26.5-ish years old. Collingwood's actual team age in their final against us was over 28yrs, so that table is clearly whole-list. So does that favour us or not? I think the only important points about a team's age are how much is to be gained as young players develop, and how much might be lost as older players slow down or retire. At the older end, we have a confusing mix of elite (May, Gawn, Viney) and many more expendable and relatively easily replaced role players. Amongst our younger players there is a promising set already playing AFL level and doing it well, but who clearly have room for more improvement which could see them become elite. Van Rooyen beign the poster boy. Additionally, we've actually got a very substantial crop of very young draftees coming into the system. My summary would be we have a very good growth potential from our younger end and only a couple of very specific vulnerabilities due to age. They are high-impact vulnerabilities, though.

It went something along the lines of “Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours. I will be it.” But really, my grandad allegedly played reserves for the Demons between the wars. Allegedly. Oh, so, so, very very allegedly.

Fingers crossed I still might have a chance of getting some leftover obstructed view nosebleed seats by the time I figure out if I can afford tickets at all!

So is this training report glowing because Picket Fence was in a good mood, or is Picket Fence in a good mood because of the training?

You have to get them ordered by the club doctor.

Excellent. I was terribly disappointed with the last quarter or so of our women's season after such an incredible early dominance, but I still look to the next season with us being the most likely side to take another premiership. Knowing we have some absolute top shelf players and characters stable in our leadership is immensely valuable.

This is in danger of becoming the new 'death ride' thread. To date, Reid's career at the Eagles has been week one hamstring awareness and week two heavily iced corked thigh. I think it is time someone return the off-brand voodoo doll they ordered from Temu.

If anything goes wrong with McDonald or Brown would an early retirement be an option which would open a mid-season draft slot for Sam Van?

Reflecting on Jordon's role at Sydney - he'll be a reliable presence in a midfield that already has quite a bit of flair and power. In a way it is the exact reverse of his scenario at Melbourne where he was 'just another' solid midfield player in a team that was in need of some dynamism. That perspective has been shown in our recruiting and drafting choices, too.

Mooney did at least take the ground, long enough to be hip-and-shouldered by Koutafides and sold a dummy by Silvagni. Brushed shoulders with the greats, he did. Oh, and gave away a free kick. So, technically, you could say Jordon had a better game than Mooney. Heh, there's a funny coincidence; both Byron and Kysaiah Pickett played in an early-career premiership alongside a player who got no disposals in the game. Also coincidental - Pickett's 2-kick 2-handball game in the winning 2004 prelim final is exactly the same as Pickett's 2-kick 2-handball stats from the winning 2021 grand final. Now, a better coincidence would be 'winning a Norm Smith medal in a win over the reigning premiers after your club has been knocked out of finals two seasons in a row despite top-4 finishes.'

We've got an odd demographic chart at the moment - we only have two each of 23yr and 22yr olds (Chandler, Sparrow, Pickett and Rivers, so all inside our best 22 for season 2023). Younger than that and to be noticed you have to be an immediate early-career star, of which there would only be two or three entering the game each year.

Youtube recommendations clearly caused by following this thread took me to an amateur solo alto saxophone cover of the Pet Shop Boys song 'It's a sin' with no backing sound, performed in a student-looking bedroom. Absolutely nothing about it worked. A low point in my musical journey and I will hold this against you all for a long time.

Things like this are so exasperating I just shrug and keep an eye open for the starter pistol of proletarian revolution. Now that'd be an entertaining Olympic event! How would you keep score, though?

Koltyn Tholstrop about to bring us in a new platinum sponsor:

Hamstring ungoodness. Anyway, it is probably career ending, for both him and the entire West Coast Eagles football club.