Little Goffy

They'll be 'meh'-ing all the way to the bank.

It wouldn't be half as much fun if it wasn't for the media pumping them up and inventing new catchphrases for them every single year. Maintains the social licence to continue mocking them.

Kicking 19.9 from 11 games when also mostly a midfielder? I'll take two, thanks! Trying to estimate which draft picks we'll have is like trying to predict the roaming of the wildebeests. General direction, sure, but only the wildebeests know which grass will be green over the horizon.

Gravel! Awsh, it's a good time for some these days. Nice life if you can 'ave it, ey. Prolly washed it down with fresh bitumen, you did. Oh, I'm a loyal man and a Demon through and through, but I'm not too proud to tell ya that if them Magpies came to me with a proper bag o' gravel and a contract I'd be out the door faster than a rash on a knee, I would.

Definitely hold on to that pick 5. As Sydney has shown through it's wild academy gains, access to that top end is priceless and far better than having a couple of late 1st-round or 2nd-round picks. If you've got a few serious guns running around it allows you to focus on needs with the rest of your draft/trade strategy. Even Hawthorn, who actually blew a surprising number of their very high picks, show how much difference it makes to have just a few outright top players to provide a focal point for a team. In this draft I don't think it'll make a huge difference to go higher than five. I think the 7 to 5 jump in the very final round has done us a great service, though. It is fun watching people debate who we should go for or hope to have slide when the debate is entirely phrased in 'this one is great in this way, and that one is great in that way'. I approach the draft without fear. After 5, I'm big on a mid first and early second round pairing. One to get our own choice of the cluster of talls in the 15-30 range, and another to get our favourite slider of the group. I hold onto my Whitlock+Whitlock fantasy. Edit: Spent a little time watching some Lalor highlights since a few other people have been getting excited. Seems unafraid to make the bold kick and also doesn't try to rely on perfection - happy to send it to advantage and allow for chaos rather than try to control every outcome. I value that mentality. Has a lot of initiative (the shared feature of our 2019 superdraftees). What I found amazing was that despite having a body shape that reminded me of Nick Sautner, those tree trunks really pumped hard and got him from tussle to tussle at a pace that surprised opponents as much as it did me. He's the fastest Ent in the Moot, to be sure.

Nick Maxwell, captain at a time when several players (by their own post-career confessions and unashamed reflections) were topping up with all kinds of wacky social ingredients, that Nick Maxwell? If we had the level of disorder, miscreant enthusiasms and plain old anti-social toxicity that Collingwood had then (and has had since and to forever, it would seem) we would be pilloried all week then up in a gibbet every thursday. Next thing someone will tell me Chris Judd was a cultural standard-setter. Max Gawn might realistically be the best captain in the AFL. A unifying and nurturing figure rivalling Jim Stynes.

At this stage I'm happy to wait for him to hand over the captaincy to George.

Who's got the Irish? We got the Irish.

When there's so much fine Irish to choose from, they picked 'tie me kangaroo down'.

I'm listening as best I can but is there anywhere streaming this?

Well, listen, you can't argue with results. @Swooper Northey for the Demonland poster trophy 2024. It's not actually a trophy, it's a poster of a trophy, being held by the poster - no, wait, I mean, it really is a trophy in the sense of a memento of triumph but not in the sense of being a physical trompy, because phyiscally it is a poster but psychologically it is a trophy, and in the poster there is a picture of a trophy which is not a poster but an actual trophy, except it is only a representation of a trophy, probably AI generated, and in this trophy poster which displays a trophy there is also an image of the poster who won the trophy poster of a trophy posing triumphantly holding the actual but non-existent trophy, which is a bit meta and just as well it isn't just another trophy poster of a poster holding a trophy poster because then this would go on for a while. But I hope Swooper appreciates it!

I'm weeping with laughter and joy having coming across this just minutes after the Petracca recommitment.

Aw, man, 226 pages and that's it? I would love to see him do a tiktok recipe where he takes a printed copy of this thread and lets it stew for a week.

One hour to go and I can't find the gameday thread. Here's the AFL site link, for what it is worth. https://www.afl.com.au/aflw/matches/6802 I'm staggered The Corporation has made such a bollocks of AFLW again. It is almost as if there's some kind of disrespect for women in the AFL-Channel 7-Herald Sun nexus.

What is the world coming to when people politely make mild adjustments to how they express themselves to accommodate the sensibilities of strangers!? What a bastion of civilization we are on here! Much appreciated. I have read the letter ;) The sentiments are heartfelt and earnest and while not my personal proverbial cup'a'tea I would sit and drink a cup'a'tea (proverbial or literal) respectfully without interrupting while you shared them. We are a bit of a strange family around here, but still a family. Why, just the other day even Biffen made me smile, though I made sure nobody saw.

Unfortunately I'm so affronted by the idea of someone else writing a letter presuming to be on my behalf that I couldn't get past the first paragraph. The drama coming from all directions and nobody wants to miss out.

Party like it's 2009.

My Mum had a much more severe injury than Petracca's, with a lot more time in ICU and greater long-term consequences but she still knows how to pick up the [censored] phone and have a chat about what she's getting up to lately. I'm irritated. I'm also chronically, almost terminally, patient, and I accept that in a sense this is Petracca's first real collision with adult fear after a life of being the magic prince, so it can be genuinely shocking. Meanwhile, Brand Petracca took a big hit - youtuber Tina Yong tried 'viral Tik Tok rice cooker recipes' and was not impressed by CP5's 'toss some frozen dumpings, soy sauce and spring onion in on top of your rice'. Trac's recipe did NOT get a double thumbs up. Coincidentally it was the first of his recipes I tried myself and, to be sure, it was as bland as Damian Barrett.

Neil Craig! Tuesday, 23 July 2013 Max Gawn signs a new two-year deal with Melbourne. "I didn't want to go anywhere and when [acting general manager of football operations] Josh Mahoney called me last night, he said 'We managed to get a deal' it put a bit of a smile on my face, so I'm rapt," Gawn said.

Right, can we please get the Ollie Wines thread really going now? 'Rumoured to be keen for the opportunity to play alongside his best mate' and 'While Port have a deep midfield of stars, Melbourne could do with another powerful body in the middle as they look to regain the clearance dominance that was a hallmark of their premiership and to nurture a variety of young potential stars in less physically brutal roles.' and 'Would allow for efficient coverage of Melbourne's loss of Neal-Bullen, who's desire to return to South Australia would also be the foundation of a clear win-win deal for both players and both clubs'.

To be fair, Brodie Kemp could legitimately develop into the new Michael Hibberd and... um... Hmm... To be fair, GAGF.

All Australian in every season where he has played more than 15 games. No, wait... he got an AA selection in 2020 with just 14 games. Amazing! NO, WAIT! TRAVESTY! How did he miss 2023? FOR SHAME. I blame Brodie Grundy. But seriously, so proud our club is led by such a lovable cuddly unstoppable colossus.

Danger! Danger! You'll start another argument about in-season loading! But it is an interesting conundrum. If you are sure you're going to get drafted, there would be no reason except ego to strive to be at the really pointy end of the draft so you might well, you know, spend more time on your schooling or play out of position a bit to develop your game. Those who remember the years where osteitis pubis ruined the start of several careers would have a lot of sympathy for taking it easy for spells during the season. There might even be a bit of altruism involved if you want to give a less prominent teammate a run in your usual position.

I see where you're coming from. That 'and sometimes you don't' comment definitely could read as 'nah, don't bother', particularly to the person it was aimed at. In fact, that's how I'm reading it now, too. I guess picture it as if I was walking by and heard just that part of the conversation and it triggered my PTSD from watching really 'confident' people wreak havoc while looking down on anyone who expressed doubts. Which is clearly not what you're doing here. Because you're not a public service executive! I call it splash damage. Like when Akermanis referred to the 'monkey's upstairs' and it was interpreted as racist because the particular execs upstairs were Indigenous, when he was of course referring to media execs generally. Anyway, returning to your point in 100% agreement; the margin between 11 wins and 15 wins is not even two goals a game so the people shouting about a megacrisis drive me insane. Not least because it is a distraction from the real task at hand. We almost need to bring out the Rick and Morty psychiatrist scene here. 'Being a football club is work. Some people are okay with that. Some people would rather turn their football club into a pickle, and die. Everyone gets to choose.' 'And if you have any friends or family who [play for Essendon] and would like to stop [playing for Essendon], here's my card.'