Little Goffy

But is that THE Ebert family, or just a local free range Ebert?

Five pages into the thread, Ethan 'Angel Eyes' Tremblay ignores shots fired, unrolls the saddle bag, calmly fixes the extended stock to his pistol, and puts a bullet right through the forehead at 30 paces. 'Bravo.'

It is a strange thing, I've been a statistician for chunks of my career and an all-round genius my whole life, but I absolutely peel [censored] bananas when it comes to this kind of quiz. I drive people insane when I'm on their team at trivia nights; "Hey, Chris, you know history, when was the battle of Austerlitz?" "Well, the early morning was crucial as the fog masked significant deployments by the French forces, and then by midday when the sun burned through the fog and revealed the French in powerful flank positions, the Austrian army's morale collapsed." "So, you're answer is...?" "Brunch-ish?" Long story short, I'm gonna be useless at this one, but thanks for sharing, I'll see if I can find it online.

Hmm, I think you might be missing the point. Our success has been based on increased changing of angles in motion.

I've always thought of the run to the 8 in terms of the pace needed to overcome immediate rivals, rather than target number of wins. Surely from this point we will outperform Essendon by 1 win. Surely? Then we need to find two more teams we can pass on the ladder. The "Just do better than them" set; Freo - one win and what looks like a truckload of percentage, but is actually a gross margin of about 150 total. Over ten games, if our margins average 15 points better than theirs, we gain that. Very hard to judge because we've been DOWN and then UP in clear blocks, but Freo have been up and down all over the place all season. But, 15 points a game better margins than Freo is absolutely realistic, so we really could pass them even if they don't implode. GWS - similar to Freo, but closer to a 200 point gross margin between us and them. GWS have been more consistent in so far as they haven't had any blowouts, but there is a bit of a flat track bully question mark on them. This is not a day and age where you can prosper for long relying on a full forward to kick 7 goals 1! The "Hope they stumble badly" set; Bulldogs - percentage is plainly out of reach and the Dogs look like they are grinding along efficiently now, and have a relatively mild draw so picking up two wins on them seems a stretch. Hawthorn - Now here are your flat track bullies! Cross your fingers this is true because a two win lead can evaporate very quickly. Percentage gap is about 250 points, which is a lot but if the Hawks don't find some mettle against strong sides they will cop it badly late in the season. Magpies, Dogs, Crows for the next three rounds, and they finish the season against the Crows (in Adelaide) Magpies, DEMONS and then Brisbane at the Gabba. Geelong is always on the edge of a cliff, but I've let go of anticipating the fall. Be assured, I will watch it with joy when it comes. Adelaide, well, definitely flat track bullies with their only win against a top-8 side being the Giants, in Adelaide, in a miserable 52-34 point game. Unfortunately their draw appears to stay pretty soft. Collingwood - it is always possible they'll get done for chemical activities, salary cap rorts, match fixing, or just plain age finally catching up, but it doesn't look likely.

Speaking of statistics, if you go by the numbers Gawn is having his best season. 2025 is his outright best for disposals and clearances and score involvements (and free kicks, which is nice) But then this season is in his top three for pretty much every other stat, but only one stat at a time. For example, he took slightly more marks per game in 2022, and his best season for hitouts was 2018, and his most tackles was 2016, and 2020 just barely edges this year for intercepts, but only 2025 is making a podium finish for every stat. Logically, if Gawn is already credibly considered the best ruck ever, it follows that if this season does indeed prove to be Gawn's best then it must also be the best single season of any ruck, ever. (touch wood, spit into the wind, and whatever else you must do to preserve the sanctity of witnessing something sacred, because we are indeed witnessing something sacred)

Did anyone else have deja vu? That is uncanncy, as is the alertness to recognise. Proof you have re-watched the grand final enough times... but certainly not too many times. ;)

Surprisingly and coincidentally enough, it is actually Viney who leads us for inside 50 tackles (per game), and by a fair margin. Tholstrup second, then Melksham and Petracca, before Spargo comes in a close 5th.

I'm reminding myself to take St Kilda seriously, despite their wonky season, by comparing their set of 'young guns who aren't putting it together consistently yet' with outs. Just imagine if our list was that little bit thinner, with all of Windsor, Lindsay, Langford, Tholstrup, McVee, Van Rooyen, Howes, Woedowin and Brown playing each week. Some weeks it would look terrible, but then some weeks the momentum would come and all of them will have a good day, and all of them CAN play a respectable game of AFL level football in their moment. When opponents let the Saints get their hopes up, they can really dominate - the games against Richmond and Freo being the obvious ones. But the range of results are incredible. Defensively they've given away scores as high as 135 & 127 or as low as 33 and 53. That is decided by whether the team as a whole is confident and engaged with the system.

I have some magnificent exes which I cannot hold a grudge against. One of them, way back in 2005, was completing their Grad Dip Education and a student-teacher at the time. Couple of Collingwood nuffies, the classic Chelyabinsk-style early 20s scrawny fetal alcohol kids, had clearly pre-loaded the beers before coming to the game and were abusing everyone around them from the moment they sat. Putting on her best teacher voice and bringing all her soft-eyed not-quite-160cm intimidation powers to bear, my girlfriend gave them such a stern talking to that they actually went quiet and then moved seats at the end of the quarter. There were genuine looks of awe from others in the crowd - a transition from fearing for her safety to sheer wonder at her power.

AFL protecting their asset. If Gold Coast is the nepo baby, Sydney is the moron nephew. The one who keeps getting jobs in the family business empire no matter how many times they stuff it up.

I for one would like to congratulate the investigation team for filling the hardest possible brief; "Find something, but don't find anything"

"Pickett (24 possessions, six clearances) could have finished with seven or eight goals, but missed several chances when attempting crowd-pleasing finishes rather than simply putting it through the middle" Wtaf, ABC News? There I was all set for the mildky amusing 'also had an unwanted game-high after hitting the post three times' mention, but no, apparently he's some kind of show pony? Raising my 'implicitly racist assumption that Indigenous players are talented but lack maturity' eyebrow. I honestly thought that eyebrow could be retired by now.

Jordan Lewis always struck me as a person of good character. Meanwhile, Sam Mitchell must be just about the only Hawthorn champion left who doesn't hate Hawthorn.

This game against St Kilda would have to be the first time this season we've gone in with a serious expectation that we'll win and win solidly. Here's hoping for setting a new tone the way our 2018 games at Alice Springs did. Actually, I'm just beginning to get a little bit of 2018 vibes from this season. A real 'He's beginning to believe' tension. Will also be fun to see if we can get a better crowd in Alice than the Saints got at Docklands this week.

Can there be such a thing as a 'life ride'? I would happily watch any club do better just to see Essendon suffer in the draft, but it is truly sweet when it is us. I guess you could call it a 'resurrection ride'.

Not sure there is a more enjoyable game of football than one where you feel like the better team right from the start, the opposition hangs in enough to keep it interesting, and then you just smash them completely to get a full scoreboard representation. There's also a lot to love about watching potent veterans regaining form, and a whole group of really young guys growing together.

Interesting football. Big packs forming, lots of close checking when the ball is in the same area for a moment, both sides sending heavy numbers to the ball, and then whoosh when it gets loose there is often a lot of space and distance covered. The only pack bigger than the ones on the ball is the one of people trying to chew Spargo's liver out.

Spent a chunk of the morning at my favourite local cafe - first time in weeks because I was working a contract with [censored] hours in an [censored] location. Coffee and food was as good as ever and I was slightly taken aback at how ridiculously attractive all the staff are. Is that subconsciously why it is my favourite cafe? Now hiding from in-laws by taking a 'nap', but they'll be gone by game time. All groceries have been restocked, the house is acceptably clean, the sun is out after a drenched week. All is well. By coincidence I also have Tim-Tams. Not actually my favourites but sometimes that is just what the mood calls for. May this game enter history as the Tim Tam binge game.

We really need all our defenders to take Hayden McLean aside today for a quiet chat about how great his opportunities would be at Melbourne, with clear puzzle holes of 'big lump of a forward' and 'supporting ruck' perfectly cut for him to fill. Mate, buddy, my friend, can you see, can you see how much we'd appreciate you? So much love, and the money, oh yes, you'll get a lot more than a usual role player because you'll be filing such an important role. You could be the new David Hale. Glory and respect awaits!

My favourite use of plinking was during the gulf war (1991 edition), by US Air Force pilots constantly referring to 'tank plinking' instead of tank busting, no matter how many times command insisted on busting for a more appropriately butch manly-man term. It also refers to flicking a bug away. I guess the closest thing to a definition would be 'effortless destruction'. I for one would love to see us plinking the Swans this afternoon.

Amazing innovations like this are the reasons executives at AFL House get the big bucks. Anyway, my agents in the MCG cleaning and maintenance teams have been instructed to block all the toilets as they finish their friday day shift, and then switch their phones off. By the end of the game, you wont be able to tell the crowd apart.

I can identify that painting! It's a thin Vermeer of competitiveness. It's a sign the umpires are asking for more Monet. The supporters are leaving by the Kahlo. No? Not convinced? Well, I can at least confirm that This Is Not A Magritte.

I suspect the poor guy is absolutely knackered 90% of the time. It is one thing to carry the club's inside game AND be the stalwart calming influence on fans and coteries, but making Cripps play in the ruck for extended periods actually sits for me as the marker that Voss should go. A coach who looks at their best player, who is best in the competition at their primary role, and says 'you can sort out my positional disorganisations' is inviting a lightning bolt. On a related note, it wasn't that long ago that the Cripps-Walsh pairing was looking like becoming the core of an unstoppable midfield. Cripps with the sheer volume of impact on contests and Walsh with the relentless running and effective attacking use. Now, Cripps is wearing down to dust and Walsh just isn't a top level player - just by the numbers he's a solid 20% off his younger form.

I spent all week in Sydney wearing my Demons scarf (fair enough in the weather, too) and got not one interaction for the trouble. Soulless zombie-with-makeup city. Anyway, I would guess their online forums have been especially busy this week, what with the solid 24hrs of the entire train network coming to a halt. I was coming home from Sydney's west in the mid-afternoon and gut instinct saved the day - after another 'waiting for information' announcement I got off and walked from Granville to Ashfield and (let me be clear I am not exaggerating) I probably covered that 16km trip faster than anyone else that day. Walking past Lidcombe I diverted through the station just to check on progress and FFS there was one station guard looking after at least 2,000 confused people with no official communications coming even about train replacement buses. He was actually getting ready to abandon his post at the station to go down to the street level because there was beginning to be a real sense of danger as footpath traffic was spilling onto main roads. So, fingers crossed, hopefully Sydney's game tomorrow will run as smooth as their train network.