Little Goffy

Hey, I'm a crypto millionaire and property investor with a Ferrari and a massive [censored] that keeps my gorgeous young submissive wife happy all night thanks to those ads. It sounds boring but is actually an important ritual for keeping Collingwood supporters out - they look and ask where the tennis balls are.

Don't tell @Ethan Tremblay about dropping below Adelaide! Also... seriously, isn't pretty much everyone's 19th Birthday their worst... so far...

Ha ha ha, eat a [censored] Hawthorn.

Had pick 1, successfully traded it for pick 23 which he then used to bring Brendan Fevola out of retirement.

I know it's traditional (one of the more miserable and dull traditions) to boo players who change clubs, but is it too much to dream of being seven goals up in the final quarter and Nibbler gets to line up for a set shot in front of the Demon Army all singing "And Iiiiiiiiiii-eeeeIiiiiiiieeeeiiiiìiii will always love youuuuuuuu-oooooooo-ooooo" And you just know he'd be laughing too hard to kick straight. @WalkingCivilWar how's your singing voice?

Not sure about the ethics of having cyborg implants added in a secret lab in the Austrian Alps, but if we're doing it...

He is quite welcome to tell us what a great addition Weitering is going to be when we get him as a free agent next season.

Should we start a 'nearest the pin'? 1. John Longmire 'sick of this ---' and leaving Sydney to become a senior assistant at West Coast. 2. Essendon arrested. Just, the whole club. Gotta be sure. I the US they called it a RICO case, I believe. 3. ATO to investigate Geelong after discovering 2/3rds of the Bellarine Peninsula is 'mysteriously' negatively geared.

Honestly if you think the situation at Melbourne is a 'similar mess' to the death spiral which Fagan dragged Brisbane out of, you've lost touch with reality.

For some people it is time to go google 'parasocial relationship' and then book an appointment with a psychologist.

If Josh Battle is worth pick 8... No, nope, there's no viable end to that sentence. Secret formula strikes again.

Don't think so. I just feel like Teague has a certain non-threatening persuasiveness which would be priceless for a coach so completely under attack that even as reigning premier people were actively undermining him. I'm also starting to find it funny to see a growing picture of the problems at the club coming from practically every direction except the coach, but every faction is keen to keep the coach dangling on a frayed string. That's for another thread but also very much something Teague can relate to. Ha! I guess the big risk is Teague will tell Goodwin how much happier he was as soon as he got out of the position of 'head coach of a dysfunctional club'.

Is that like MDMA? But yes, you are right - I see Martin as being more in the 'lose it in this casino' side of the comment. Bailey and Oliver, though... that's big money.

To be fair, 'that list' was only half there at the time, with the full wave of the Silvagni mass recruitment of NQRs occurring just before, and then having its impact during Teague's tenure. Carlton had a 2-win season prior to his arrival. Walsh, De Koning, McKay and Curnow were all still very young, Cerra and Acres hadn't arrived, and, let's be frank, Carlton even now are very star-dependent and brittle. Their best season since Ratten is 13 wins and a draw, and they only bagged two more wins than us this year. Carlton were a mentally broken shambles when Teague took over, while the fans and coteries thought they should be challenging for a premiership because of their 'epic' best 6. It isn't as if he did a Paul Roos turnaround job or anything, but he shouldn't be marked too harshly for managing a 40% win rate with the hand he was given. I do think he'd be an excellent, calm and deep thinking assistant coach who might be a very effective word in the ear of Goodwin.

Geelong allegedly pursuing all of Martin, Bailey Smith, and Oliver is starting to look like a whole lot of under-the-table deals and a 'make sure he loses it in this casino' vibe. Meanwhile, Bulldogs Best and Fairest had an interesting quirk that not a single player from their forward line made the top ten. Ugle-Hagan, Naughton, Weightman and Darcy all missed. That's a lot of salary cap consumed for what the club itself is saying is not much return.

What if Clayton Oliver / the club was playing 3D chess with Geelong as part of planning a move to the Dogs once Smith & Macrae leave? Smith to Geelong, good draft picks to Dogs. Macrae to wherever, moderate picks or pick upgrade. Complicated pick package to Melbourne for Oliver, Melbourne get Geelong's 15, Brisbane's 14 (via a points trade enabled by the pick package), and a good position in the second round. We go into the first round of a strong draft with our existing pick 5, plus 14 and 15. A massive bucket of salary cap space opened up for the rich 2025 free agency market. And a whole lot less 'issues'.

Played hard to the last and still getting tagged, I see.

BREAKING NEWS Clayton Oliver basically a regular guy.

I found the Brodie Holland - Brent Montgomery incident mentioned in an old Bulldogs Youtube clip. You don't have to wait long - it was a snipe coming in off the line at the opening bounce. I get deeply disturbed these days anytime I see that 'fencing pose' response to a hit, ever since doing a police/emergency transcript set related to an incident where a lady in a kind of mobility scooter was cleaned up by a car. Vivid moment vividly told by multiple witnesses, including an off-duty medic in a following car who saw the lady go into that fencing pose before she'd even hit the ground. Holland got six weeks at the time - imagine the suspension for Holland now. Went straight past the ball without even showing an interest, left the ground at full speed, not only led with the shoulder but drove upwards with the elbow and directed the hit specifically to the head on an unsuspecting player who had no reason to anticipate contact. Does the tribunal even have a category for 'premeditated' beyond deliberate? Honestly, if I saw an obviously planned incident like that now I'd be calling for the coach to cop a suspension as well.

If an Oliver trade was involved it would certainly solve the salary cap issue for getting the other De Koning as a free agent next year. De Koning and a whole lot of draft value for Oliver (and his whole salary). They'd be taking Oliver (and Smith) on a 50/50 bet that it would either give them the surge to a premiership or wreck their whole cosy salary cap and football-political situation. We'd be setting ourselves with a successor tall defender for several years and adding to a pile of late first/early second roud draft picks to work with. It would leave our midfield very bare indeed, so unless we already knew we were getting someone like Brayshaw or LDU as a free agent in 2025, it is a massive risk in both short and medium term.

Though one must remember the immortal words of Frederick II; "A mule may go on ten campaigns with Prince Eugene of Savoy, but remains a mule." The first thing to select for in a coach is their capacity to grow. Related to that, it is up to the club (even including supporters) to ensure a coach has permission and space to grow. Half the premierships of the last 20 years have been won by coaches who had faced the very real threat of axing. For example I think the alternate history scenarios if Thompson and/or Hardwick hadn't survived their 'review' processes would be a fascinating idle speculation.

What if there was a football panel show and no panel? You could have players calling in just to do kind of 'message back to earth' diary sessions. Or even better, get a shared Zoom call going with one player from every club and just see what happens.

Being an assistant coach at Melbourne seems to be the number one pathway to a senior coaching role now! Plus, former Demon assistants just won both the premiership and the spoon. We're a trophy-winner factory.

Hmm, is it too late to get Fagan as a Cat B rookie?