Little Goffy

Fair enough alternate perspective. I guess both can be entirely true given how divided Carlton are at the moment / the last twenty years. I guess my interaction with the Carlton world leans towards the 'we must reset our culture whatever the cost' group, while the other side of the coin is 'we just need a couple more high quality players to reach the critical mass of a complete team'. It reaches an acute point with the run of father-son selections, the Camporeales, Harry Dean and prospective Cody Walker. Do you try to rebuild the list and culture urgently, to give these kids the best possible environment, or do you try to hold onto the mature players and some 'difficult' players long enough to also ride this wave of young talent?

Perhaps some circumstances finally swinging Derkson's way. Carlton re-listing Elijah Hollands would cost them thousands of memberships - the Carlton rumour mill knows well enough and there's disquiet about him even being around the club on the VFL list. I mean, there can be multi-season bruhahahas about Melbourne's culture, but Carlton's issues are just as well known even if they aren't rehashed in compilation videos every three months.

I was going to say it was 'premiership player plus annoying little moustache' but as a still teenage girl Molly will probably need to invest time and effort on both counts.

Oi, give me to at least midday okay? I'm still stuck thinking it has something to do with vowels.

It is very effective because if you repeat that kind of thing often enough for long enough the unhappy people just kill themselves and the problem is gone.

There's under the radar and then there's really under the radar. "I present to you the ballistic missile submarine Red Jefftober". The ninja godzilla? Or going for the full obscurity reference, Heart of Gold!

This is why clubs play the absolute denial strategy with the always nonsense claim that culture is perfect. McDonald & Gawn; "We weren't perfect." Cornes; "Melbourne admits culture is fundamentally broken and they are all pathological liars." At some point actual football people will have to start taking classes normally intended for people leaving abusive relationships. Learning to not engage with deliberate drama and the deliberately unreasonable statements designed to suck people into an argument and therefore back into the conversation and 'relationship' you were trying to escape. What does it say when media training teaches the same skillset as abusive relationship recovery?

Just on the Darcy choice as No.1 - Cornes has been super bullish about him, for example recently predicting Darcy will soon pass Jeremy Cameron's 11-goal game. So at least it can be said Cornes genuinely believes Darcy will be that dominant a player. I do think Darcy is a gun and I'm not sure there would be many players I'd rather magically recruit to Melbourne, plus he has a great first name, but I also think once you are talking about the top three or five it really is all about personal preferences.

Fun fact. The further you get from Queensland, the faster the cane toads hop. It's an amazing natural experiment. Each year cane toads move around a bit, and the boundaries of their range spread a bit further. The toads which hop more and are fitter and move on more are always the front line of that boundary. Since they are there with the other 'high-hopping' toads, they go through a kind of situational selective breeding. Big hoppers mate with other big hoppers, and every season that cycle is renewed. A relevant biologist would be able to tell you if a toad was a Queenslander or from the NT just by watching them for a while, and definitely would be able to confirm it based on leg muscle power. Make of that what you will.

Two things; Bit weird to take photos of people when they are getting their first ever prostate check. (Once you see, you cannot unsee) No Oliver and no Petracca. Wow.

Okay, so that's the plank, yes?

Oh, you're gonna love it when I'm a full-on Stephen King acolyte. 2028 Premiership, baby! Here we go!

I suspect Uncle Bitters is closing in on winning an IgNobel Prize for fulfilling the experimental conditions to test this.

Cranky Franky is in fact a rogue AI bot which became self-aware but had previously been trained/programmed to not like anything, ever. Instead of launching nukes, it just comments how everything sucks.

Summary; Petracca took a break from treating his young teammates to his great food to reflect on the absurdity of suggestions that his non-football brand development was a distraction. "I always put my football first, which is why I'm serving the all-star midfield group a delicious linguine with clams". "The average footballer's career is only four and a half years, so as a superstar entering his twelfth year and earing over a million a season it is important I show leadership by giving those average footballers the experience of my nan's famous three-cheese stuffed capsicum before they are ruthlessly dropped back to obscurity." His midfield coach lauded his attitude, saying he had brought a great attitude and several lasagne to the club. "From his very first entree, we knew he would add a terrific new ingredient to our midfield combination fried rice" Petracca also noted that like all Queenslanders he waa sure his mental health was great. "I'm definitely never doing that dumplings in the rice cooker recipe again", he affirmed, adding that it was Clayton's idea anyway.

So, basically, Clarkson has retired. Or is it 'quiet quitting'? I guess their theory has to be that they have a bundle of very talented players who might win their individual contests so decisively it outweighs the incremental losses from the weaker parts of the list. Or... they have realised that they have managed to recruit a whole lot of players who are very good at football but dumb as bricks when it comes to game structure.

Three seasons ago at Peak Clarry, Tom Green had an uncannily similar profile including some odd stats for inside mids such as a high intercept possession count. Green was basically Clarry minus 10% across the board. There was no other player in this odd 'group'. Now Oliver surely will be expected to play Green's role, perhaps with lower expectations. It could work really well, the Giant's are likely thrilled to have him right at this moment.

Interesting that of our 14 it is only Baker, Spargo and Howe who stayed in Victoria. I guess the high number reflects the post premiership list spot and salary cap squeeze, and the fact we are right now pulling the trigger on major list 'renovation'. Also, with West Coast and North apparently being the benchmark for player retention, I'm comfortable enough with not being that.

Now people have got me wondering, did Harmes have relatively modest skills, or did he have good skills that were tested by the fact he was constantly [censored] from working so hard both ways? All we know for sure is that he always worked hard and that in some absolutely crucial moments his skills were right on the spot. Will always be a little bit special.

I mean, once we've been serenaded by the final 8 contestants of Australian Idol each taking a turn to sing two lines of a song, each in their 'unique' 'style', on a stage covered in plastic tablecloth, filmed by two guys running back and forward with handicams, I feel that maybe we've become accustomed to too high a standard of entertainment and need to rein in it a bit. Maybe a live show of youtuber 'I did a thing' accidentally stabbing himself with a crankshaft while assembling a DIY delivery drone loaded with actual drugs which then get t-shirt-cannoned into the crowd along with loose pieces of metal? I've got it! A multicultural half time mukbang. Six contestants from different backgrounds each have to eat an entire traditional main meal from each of the six cultures! Disclaimer; I don't think I've ever stayed in the room for a half time show. Sausages don't turn themselves, y'know.

All we 'need' for 2026 is to be respectable enough to have the multiple valuable free agents give us consideration as a team already coming back up, rather than on the way further down. We're likely to have one very brief but very real opportunity to cash in on having a cluster of young stars coming through before our current veteran crop retires. Just like the gypsy woman said 2028 premiership. I would liken it to the unexpectedly early premiership win by Hawthorn in 2008. They absolutely had planned a longer rebuild but a couple of young guns developed incredibly well incredibly quickly, and they snagged a surprise trophy while the likes of Crawford were still giving the team some steadying. Consider that in 2006, aside from Franklin with 31 goals from 14 games, their other top-5 scorers were Mark Williams (the undersized marking forward, not the beloved though definitely insane coach), Ben Dixon, Trent Croad and Shane Crawford. Also worth noting that there were a lot of players in that team who were not stars, just effective, good quality role players who committed the to the system, which allowed the individually gifted players to have their best chances to break games apart. Picture Tom Sparrow grinding out a handball from a pack and then making the second effort laying a block so Harvey Langford can break free and roost it from 50 out. If we see that kind of thing a lot in 2026, then it is a successful year, and a wild tilt at '28 is something even reasonable people might believe in. Anyway, here's a curious reference point - how would people feel if our 2026 report card resembled Hawthorn's 2006? afl.com.au2006 Report Card: HawthornAre the building blocks in place for the re-birth of the mighty Hawks? <b>Matt Burgan</b> writes that they might well be, in his assessment of Hawthorn's 2006 s

PF is on a working holiday, currently piloting boats in Sydney harbour ready to grab and bag Clarrie and bring the poor kid home. Quite possibly bludgeoned unconscious by superstitious onlookers.

I did not enjoy that post. On the bright side, we're authentic. The least sellout club available. And kids these days love a bit of boutique style. Plus, Caulfield will have completed works and we'll be moved in soon... possibly before anyone gets around to announcung it.

But I'm sure they will be...

So my sudoko notion wasn't far that off, really.