Little Goffy

Honestly, at a certain point even an AFL journalist has to earn some kind of credibility deficit.

So, really, on the basis of their shared "aggressive non-viral, transmittable parasitic cancer with lesions or lumps in and around the mouth," and their general demeanour, the natural rivals for the Tasmanian Devils would be...

Margarine is basically pure white until they add dye. Fun fact - Margarine is an extremely dense energy source and while it is difficult to light, once it gets going it burns powerfully with a LOT of black smoke. This lesson was learned the hard way in Sweden when a truck transporting a shipment of margarine crashed in a tunnel. The petrol caught fire and the flame was intense enough to get the margarine to light, at which point the entire tunnel had to be evacuated immediately. On the bright side, they drove two more trucks through; one full of salmon and the next with potato and herbs, and at the end everyone had a lovely dinner.

Oi Red, update on the bread box please. If it truly keeps the bread from growing new and interesting species I will swim the Pearl River to get one. Exemptions: During an afternoon nap at the beach house following a morning swim / when there's a event you don't want to go to and need to convince the other person to procrastinate / and interrupting Mario Kart. Pfft. I had a needle and an old rag. The needle was for both writing and for drawing blood from my fingertips. For the rest of my life the ends of my fingers all look like [censored].

I'd say both Sydney and the Dogs are a bit overrated going into the season - realistic possibility that neither will make finals. Overall at present we have First Round: Our own pick (18, obviously) Second Round: Sydney (call it 30) Third Round: St Kilda and Footscray (let's say around 45 and 50) Fourth Round: Our own pick. Jason Taylor is like a kid going into a 1980s mini-market looking for lollies with a $1 coin, a 50c piece and two 20c pieces and a five cent piece. He must now work out how to get the $2 grab bag.

To drink their own bathwater they would first need to have a bath.

Fortunately we brought in other people to recruit the rest of the team! 🤣

That seems backwards compared to the normal path, but we go in aaaallll directions around here. Don't mind the crankies, they just like yelling at each other about things going back as far as Barry Prendergast!

Hmm, you might be thinking of the Tom Lonergan kidney injury. Miller didn't quite get purchase jumping for a mark and ended up with his knee driving into the fast-backtracking Lonergan's lower back. Looked ugly and the kidney had to be removed, but there was no tribunal side to it.

I got the strangest picture in my head thinking about Windsor and Sparrow. Imagine one of those car refit shows (Pimp my Ride, etc to 1000 variations) and two teams are given an identical base car and told to transform it in whatever way they are inspired. One team decides to rip out the back seats and completely rebuild the engine for maximum torque to produce a ute with enough grunt to tow Scott Morrison's [censored] up a hill. The other team strips the heavy gear out, upgrades the suspension and fine tunes the gears, throws on a rear spoiler and presents to the judges a smooth-rding highway cruiser. Anyway, it was just a random thought. Probably just because they have very similar chin, jawline, cheekbones and hair.

I saw the AFL website ran the headline 'facing massive ban'... and then in the article it suggested 3 weeks. At some point all this spin is going to cause its own concussion problems.

Could it be... is this the time... to bring back the bugle? Maybe a cavalry charge call at the moment in the third quarter when he took the gully catch in the grand final ;)

https://cognitiveresearchjournal.springeropen.com/articles/10.1186/s41235-021-00301-5 Re: 'our culture is totally broken' / 'Goodwin is some kind of egomaniac crackpot' / our consecutive top 4 finished are a mark of failure' / etc etc I see the lines repeated constantly and it is very irritating. Surely by now Roost It and a couple of others can accept that the effect of "incrementally smaller increases in perceived truth for each additional repetition" has taken hold and they are wasting their own time almost as much as they are wasting everyone else's.

Surely the biggest one hit wonder failures would have to be; Hawthorn 2008 Sydney 2005 North Melbourne 1996 Essendon 1993 Personally, if Melbourne's story follows that of our 1948 'one-hit wonder'I'm patient enough to wait for the rebound!

After round 24 we'll finish at the MCG, having just crushed the faltering reigning premiers in front of the season's biggest crowd and taken their spot in the top 4 thanks to an eight game winning streak. Rnd17 on goes; Eagles, Bombers, Dockers, Giants, Bulldogs, Power, Suns, Magpies. The first half of this season will be tough but even a 50% win rate will be enough to let us launch into a relatively soft late draw. 2024 will be like 2000 if there was no Essendon.

Absolutely shameful that he's been relegated to 'Footy Feed: Dees shock call, Thomas sacked, new Swan impresses.' But I'm not too worried because his legacy will only grow because the love for him is deep.

King's Birthday will be a serious thing but I fully expect round 24 to be one to remember. By then we will have worked our way through a difficult season, and that final round game against Collingwood will very likely influence both club's position in the top 4. By all the pagan deities and ancestral spirits, we must purge that corrupting foulness.

Nah, they'd be too worried about Maynard getting injured by them.

Monthly reminder time: Since Craig McRae become coach of Collingwood, Brayden Maynard has hospitalised with a head injury at least one opponent every season. And Angus Brayshaw is one of the most honourable men in Australian sports. This is real 'evil vs good' stuff.

I am looking forward to the decision to sue the AFL. The discovery process will be epic. "As plaintiff it is our contention that a sustained culture of selective accountability and punishments, driven by inappropriate considerations of internal politics, social and personal connections and commercial interests prioritised ahead of consistent justice, have played a key role in the failure of the Australian Football League to provide a safe workplace. We contend that this incident and the related premature conclusion of a career is not only a liable result of this executive failure, but that communications related to this specific case will provide evidence of the alleged mis-governance and selective application of rules with regard to the tribunal processes which excused the behaviour on spurious grounds and which delivered a demonstrably insufficient prosecution argument unfit for. As such, the below schedule of relevant persons of influence within the AFL, Collingwood football club, and associated parties are hereby given notice that they shall be required to retain, preserve and to provide to the court all communications made in relation to the tribunal case." Justice must be served.

My all-time favourite player taken out of the game by condoned thuggery. The sadness and anger is beyond words. Brayshaw will be all right because he is a champion human being as well as footballer, but he deserved so much more luck than he had.

Dunstan, Jordon, Harmes, Grundy and Hibberd. I respect each of those players but it is hardly the bottom falling out. Weideman in his prime and we have a premiership! Though it was indeed a very, very brief prime.

I wonder what happens if you give AI the prompt '15 minutes of my life I won't get back'? Wait... I got it; you get the 'loading circle' going around. That's it. That's the image. Time lost = 100 minus IQ.

The impending hole in our list is also an impending space in our salary cap - why not fill one hole with the other? (aside from being a terrible analogy from a physics perspective). Unless both De Konings seriously boom they would each be a bit cheaper than Gawn and May, respectively. Another way of seeing it is as the final balancing of the ledger for losing Jackson.

It is not secret that the Demons are in near-future need of a ruckman and a defender as successors to Gawn and May. I present to you the brothers De Koning; Tom De Koning, Ruck, 201cm, 102kg, 24yrs, restricted free agent out of contract in 2025. Sam De Koning, Defender, 204cm, 97kg, 22yrs, out of contract in 2025. Carlton would be hard pressed for salary cap space by 2025 and Geelong will just be hard pressed. Am I crazy or could this be the big sentimental play that reopens our premiership window from 2026 on?