Tony Tea

If you thought "$cully to GWS" was a feisty rumpus, imagine the uproar caused by the "Nikanui back to Perth" saga.

What "expired" that day, 29 August 1987, apart from Geelong's and Footscray's finals hopes, was Lee Marvin.

* egg on face *

The AFL approached Cook. Twice. It may not have been the secret meeting Demetriou laughed off as a boozy night, but Round Robbo is not a million miles from the truth. The full story lies somewhere between Round Robbo's story yesterday in the Herald Sun, and Andrew Demetriou's blasé dismissal yesterday on SEN.

Haven't we got enough outside runners who go missing when the heat is on?

"I want to stay a ______ for life" is not the same as "I have signed". Beamer's best chance of remaining a Demon is the likelihood no other club will go big and offer him a lot more than what Melbourne will offer.

Biggest upsets: We're No.1.

It would also be interesting to know who, or how, the West Coast point at the end of the Lions game was touched. Not that I am against West Coast getting stitched up by the umpires. They deserve every single piece of bad luck they get, since they keep getting gifted frees over at Paterson's Curse. Even yesterday they were on the right side of the free count - 20 to13.

Classic overcorrection by the umpires. The system has been accused of wasting time on frivolous and inconclusive reviews, so when a situation actually calls for a review, the umpires don't review it. Boy who cried wolf, and all that. That said, from the footage I have seen on TV, which was also inconclusive since the ball was hidden by the post, the point would not have been corrected and it would have stayed a point.

A pain in the foot is a pain in the arse? I demand a second opinion.

Now, if only we can get Obvious Robert to give up his sacked coaches crusade and concede that Melbourne's wins in 2011 were classic flat track bully material and that our losses were a stark indication that we got smashed in every big game and would continue to do so.

It has gotten to the stage where I reflexively ignore anyone who mentions our 2011 win-loss record as a positive when compared to 2012 - David King, for instance: "they had some great wins last year" - but at least Wallace had the smarts to acknowledge that our 2011 wins need to be discounted against our losses.

Get rid of him. But I'll have his red velvet jacket.

Demonhouse? Sh!thouse, more like.

Paddy whacked.

We ARE tanking. Clearly we are good enough to come at least 15th.

Sewell.

A sly chance.

Luke Darcy is the kind of commentator who says the kinds of things commentators say when they have nothing to say.

Luke Darcy: unoriginal lightweight.

Matthew Lloyd? Next you will suggest Tactics King, or Nathan Brown, or Billy Brownless.

We've been soft as butter for years. Consistently disappointed when we were favourites. Hardly won a key game. Only ever looked good on a roll. Virtually never won an arm wrestle. Under-achieved. Over-rated our own worth. Flat track bullies. Bruise free [censored]. I for one am prepared to suffer the current slop if it will mean we harden the truck up.

I have a mate in WA who says exactly the same thing. In fact, a lot of footy fans in WA loathe CC and CS.

Howard Cosell called it the "jockocrasy".

Walls blind support for a fellow sacked coach is seriously compromising any remaining media pundit credibility he may have accidentally accrued since he was sacked by Richmond.