Tony Tea

Football fact! It is against AFL rules to be crap.

I would be much more worried if he stood in the middle of the players and yelled "Let's get out there and kill 'em!!!!!!!!!!!!!" If you believe old school ra-ra is the modern way to coach you will believe Any Given Sunday is a good film.

I will barrack for Geelong when Melbourne eventually fold. Oh, who am I kidding? I will give footy the elbow and finally get a life.

I protest most vehemently about why we looked fat, slow and clueless.

We are not good enough to tank.

Dermot's biggest problem is that he is pretentious. He is basically a bogan who is desperate to sound intellectual about football, but in trying to inflate the language of the game, he uses words which he has no idea about, as well as words which have not yet been invented.

I quite like Dermot, but it is impossible to take his hair seriously.

Yet another case of Mad Memory Syndrome: Valenti never kicked three in a match, nor was he promptly delisted after the 2008 Olympics opening ceremony. (Just as Adem Yze did not play a blinder in his first game.)

West Coast, because I lived in WA when the Eagles started. Night. Mare. Richmond, because I remember what Tigers fans were like when the Tigers were winning flags.

Crawf, it is whatever you want to make of it.

Part 1 Part 2

Only a matter of time until all our home games against interstate sides, North and Footscray are played at Punt Road or Princes Park.

And the opposition knows this, so they close up on Grimes quick, rather than back off like they would to a faster player.

Grimes kicks the ball out on the full because he has to kick around and over on-coming opponents when he does not have the pace to run around them.

Tuck slaughters Melbourne every time we play the Tiges.

If Franklin leaves Hawthorn I will eat my shorts.

Demons hang on for the win at their impregnable Renmark fortress.

South Aussie.

Community radio slop.

Rowie and Bone commentated on 5AA when we played a praccy against Adelaide in 2010 and they were hilariously biased.

WCI: West Coast Illegals.

Nay. No human being should ever have a beard. (Says someone who has never been able to grow one.) PS: While I'm on a "style" rant - not once through the whole tide of human history has there ever been a good looking tattoo.

Do you know Hogan is unavailable for Melbourne this season? I do now, after Dwayne Russell told me 563 times last night.

I wonder whether he will get sacked if he uncovers any lack of integrity.

Are the cited penalties official? The AFL spin & bullsh!t department operates like a political party's spin & bullsh!t department. In politics it is customary to leak information, gauge the reaction to the leaked information, then tailor the release of the information to the reaction to the leaked information.