Mazer Rackham

Peter, are you familiar with an entity known as the "Match Review Panel"?

If you go to the AFL web site they have a page where they "explain" the way certain rules are adjudicated. Watch their video of the "new" "deliberate OOB" and then compare it with the way they're actually paying it. http://www.afl.com.au/video/2015-03-17/2016-laws-of-the-game-deliberate-out-of-bounds Another video of interest to watchers of yesterdays game is this one: http://www.afl.com.au/video/2015-03-17/2016-laws-of-the-game-drawing-head-contact

While we're at it, the laws of the game make no mention of certain other things. Such as ... how long you have to dispose of the ball after a mark or free. Usually the umps will give a handful of seconds and then call play on. Today we saw in the 4th quarter, Wells I think it was, took a mark and then knelt down and took plenty of time tying up his boot lace. (Conveniently, his teammates were able to get into position.) Only when he went back to take the kick, did the ump put him on the clock. I went to the rules to see what they said about this.... turns out he was within his rights to do this because THERE IS NO MENTION of any time limit for disposing after a mark or free. The word "seconds" does not appear even once in the rules. But the umps still hustle players on if they take "too long" after a mark or free. The umps are adjudicating on something that is not even in the rules!!!

The 2016 laws of the game make no mention of such a thing.

[censored] it. Enough. I'm just going to enjoy the shellacking.

[censored] hell. Watching this is very annoying. Very very annoying. What should have been ........ Thank you Port for belting them up but it brings absolutely no joy.

What's he said that's so different from what's been said on here the last week? We already know that we have to bounce back. Forget Denham. Frothing about him will only harm your mental health. Get behind the team and cheer them on. GO DEMONS

Hint: fairest and best. That's why. Add Matthews, Barassi, Whitten, etc to the list. The real mystery is how Dipper managed one.

Yes, but did you send it in to the club? It's all well and good but if you leave them to their own devices they'll just do what they want and pick some crazy team that considers form, discipline, and matchups.

There's a second career waiting for him if the bottom drops out of football ... Maybe that's what the contract flap is about. He wants more hay in his stable and a nicer blanket before he signs!

The CAS decision really only brought down the curtain on Act 1. Act 2 is all the lawsuits. Act 3 is the long term health effects. They won't even have to prove that it was Dank's potions causing it. Just that the potions might have caused it. Hopefully we won't have to see any of Act 3 actually play out. What a situation to be in.

This is what I think of when I watch Jesse run in for a shot on goal. Jesse Hogan runup

It takes two to tango. one, a mid field that can kick accurately to the forward two, a forward who makes some attempt to get away from three defenders so they can't punch the ball away

Dunn and Matthew Bate were bits and pieces forwards for years and neither ever clicked in that role. It's only being reinvented as a defender that has saved Dunn's career from going the same way as Bate's.

The biggest name at the club needs the biggest thread count. Jesse is nowhere near reaching his potential (number of threads).

Beaten sides always look slow and unskilled. Then when they win again they look speedy and slick. (Unless it's a close game in which case both sides look equally marvellous or equally [censored].)

Fear of losing.

Peter, do you have the inside word on Jesse's thinking? We hear rumours that he's "definitely" going and others that the "loves" Melbourne. Do you have any mail?

Yes. So we either nip it in the bud now, or accommodate him and end up with a monstrous prima donna on our hands.

More than team selection & matchups, more than 100% fit players .... the game was lost between the ears. That was the biggest factor by far.

Fer christ sake, can't we just shoot Garland and get it over with? Problem solved.

(Scene: A luxury suite at AAMI park. Jesse Hogan reclines on a golden couch. Two white tigers are at his side. Hogan dangles a white mouse by the tail and drops it into one of the tigers’ mouths. Paul Roos, Simon Goodwin, Josh Mahoney and Todd Viney are kneeling in front of the couch.) There is silence as Hogan gazes sternly at each one in turn. JH: Well? Goodwin: Jesse, we’re … we’re sorry! JH: What for, scum? Goodwin: … I don’t know. But we’re sorry! JH: Hmm. Just what I thought. How useless you all are. Roos: Jesse, what do you want? Just tell us what you want! JH: What a loathsome specimen you are. I never noticed before. Roos: I— JH: Some of the chattering classes have irked me. That Lloyd fellow. I don’t like him. Viney: Matthew Lloyd? The champion full forward? JH: Oh he’s played, has he? I suppose in some by gone era. The damned fossil. Viney: Retired in 2009. JH: Exactly. He’s as out of date and out of touch as you pathetic excuses. Mahoney: Jesse, please tell us what you want. JH: What I want. Let’s see. A salary I can actually live on, a playing list that understands me, some decent works of art around here wouldn’t go astray. And for God’s sake don’t let me see you wearing those damned shirts again. They’re awful. Mahoney: The club shirts? With the logo and the sponsors? JH: Mm-hmm. Get rid of them. If I ever see one of them again I shall buy a plane ticket to … Blacktown, perhaps? Mahoney: But Jesse … JH: Oh, silence, you idiot. You asked what I want. I want that [censored] eliminated. Roos: You mean … Lloyd? JH: Who else would I mean? (Silence) Roos: We don’t have that much pull in the press, Jesse. We can’t just— JH: SHUT UP! I’m not talking about the press! I mean take him out in a box! Now you’ve upset Simba, you dolt. (The coaches look at each other) Viney: We can’t do that, Jesse. You can’t mean it? JH: Can’t can’t can’t. God, what a pack of dismal failures. I’m getting my headache again. You may go. Next week I’m playing at Casey. All: What!!! JH: You heard me. I don’t travel. From now on I will be “tired” and need to be “rested” every time we go interstate. All: But—Jesse, you—What do you— (JH raises his hand slightly. There is instant silence.) JH: You may now leave. Have my champagne bath ready at 3 sharp. All: Yes Jesse.

That's the lot of the stay-at-home gorilla forward. Forget the umps. Lead and make it tough for the defenders.

I don't recall him on a single lead on Saturday. He was either in the middle of the ground following the flood, or glued to the goalsquare calling for the ball to be delivered via drone strike with pinpoint accuracy on his trachea.

[TL;DNR = if he's going to behave like a star, he has to produce like a star.] "The delivery was poor". When you have three defenders surrounding a motionless forward who wants the ball to land in his lap, then "good" delivery is not something that's possible. Compare with (shudder) Daniher. Ran all over the place and made our defenders work for it. And got some birthday presents due to the confusion that created. (I accept that it shouldn't have been confusing.) Compare with JRiewoldt on Fri night. He has (finally) been told by Hardwick not to roam far and wide like a pretend midfielder, but to stay close to goal. And he did. And he led out of goal. And he got the pill, and kicked crucial goals. They probably should have won. Point is, he gave his midfielders something to work with, and made life tough for the defenders. If our guy wants to be a bigger and heavier Howe, of marginal usefulness, then he will be more trouble than he's worth. Especially if he has to be treated with kid gloves, which is how it's shaping up. His future price tag is going to [censored] up the management of the salary cap as it is, so he's got to produce accordingly. Otherwise we're better off without him. It's a team sport. If you can't hack that, play tennis.