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Discussion on recent allegations about the use of illicit drugs in football is forbidden

Mazer Rackham

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Everything posted by Mazer Rackham

  1. Sydney are a "golden child" club, so their complaints are more likely to be listened to than, say, a minnow Victorian club with a champion ruckman who has a bruised head. Put another way, they are under the protection of the mob bosses, while certain other clubs are under suspicion, at least until they start bringing in more moolah.
  2. But if you're Brad Scott, you can revel in it and sit back with a port and a cigar and enjoy the view as your players lay into the oppo.
  3. The umps, being amateurs, and seemingly on board with the idea of being amateurs in an otherwise professional sport, get mixed in with a random group of umps every week. A professional organisation would take a professional approach and have fixed "teams" or "crews" of umps that train together and take the field together each week. (They do this in gridiron and baseball ... this is one area where we SHOULD copy the Americans!) They can then learn each others' styles and movements and don't need eyes in the back of their heads. As it is, they appear to be ball-bound with no-one watching what's going on off the ball. Professional umps, grouped into "crews", for a better umpiring experience that actually enforces all the rules and not just the ones the umps feel like, or have time for. The AFL of course has no interest in this as long as the mugs fans show up and Channel 7 pays $$$$$. What's it costing them?
  4. Laws of the Game 2024 18.3 PROHIBITED CONTACT ... 18.3.3 Permitted Contact A Player may use their hip, shoulder, chest, arms or open hands provided that the football is no more than five metres away from the Player and the Player does not make Prohibited Contact as per Law 18.3.2 above. This rule is infringed at nearly every centre bounce.
  5. They used to open for Spinal Tap. They gave up when they found their material had been plagiarised, uncredited, by Bon Jovi. The guitarist now works delivering school lunches and the drummer is a plasterer. They're talking about getting the band back together. Their new material is really strong, apparently!
  6. The problem with losing either of May/Lever is that they are our generals in defence. It's like having an on-field coach. The problem with losing both of them is we also lose the on-field coach aspect. We're not exactly back in Frost/Oscar territory, but the cohesiveness our of defence relies on having at least one of them on the ground.
  7. Is this reverse karma? Where the punishment happens before the crime?
  8. Monday morning review meeting at Fox Sports. "Commentary horrendous?" "Check." "Didn't know basic facts about players?" "Check." "Obvious and pointless expert comments?" "Check." "Inane and meaningless expert comments?" "Check." "Butt-hurt former players musing out loud?" "What's 'musing'?" "Whingeing." "Check." "So five out of five. Again! Well done boys, see you next Mondee."
  9. Nothing fixes off-season drama like wins on the scoreboard. Our guppy-brained media now have some new targets drifting into their viewfinders. Collingwood (but softly softly until it's obvious they can release both barrels), Crows, Lions, Bulldogs. It's a tremendously exciting time for them. And they always have us in reserve if we have some "off-field issues", ie, start losing.
  10. Now we know where the real Kate Middleton is. Playing in the no 30 jersey for Melbourne. It makes sense if you think about it. (after spending 30+ hours straight on twitter and facebook)
  11. Yes, it's the uncanny way he knows who's going to score the next goal, and manouvers to be near them, that impresses me. He must read the play better than anyone who's ever played the game! And still doesn't manage to rack up 40+ possies per match. I guess that speaks further to the selflessness of the guy.
  12. Has my name been mentioned yet? Mason Cox for the big dumb henchman, swift to anger. Maynard in the opening sequence as a bad guy who gets his comeuppance. Eddie McGuire in a Bond parody movie as the evil mastermind.
  13. I can see a new career for you as a naming consultant to 18 clubs' leadership groups.
  14. I'm afraid anything more creative is too mentally taxing for your standard AFL player. That's why Brodie Grundy had to leave. Players' brains were getting fried trying to work out how to ask for the ball.
  15. Let's face it, Waverley Park couldn't do anything right.
  16. 1991. Think Angry Anderson and the batmobile. And Lisa Ondeiki's hubby trying not to kill himself laughing. (edit: oh. "only" GF. Still, worth it to remember the batmobile.)
  17. Jed Adams (26) - Adamsy Kyan Farris-White (43) - Whitey Tom Fullarton (33) - Fullartony Marty Hore (27) - Horey Lachie Hunter (12) - Huntery Shane McAdam (23) - McAdamsy Andy Moniz Wakefield (45) - Wakesy Will Verrall (28) - Verrally
  18. I remember that. Templeton dragged himself into the first meeting by his arms, his useless lower body trailing helplessly behind him. His lower limbs showing signs of having recently been re-attached at the knees. "Jesus Christ, it's Kelvin Templeton!" said the Dees brains trust. "Before we start the meeting, can you sign these footballs?" "I ... I ... " wheezed Templeton. "Please, I ..." He slumped to the floor, coughing. "Kelvin, is that ... blood dripping from your knees?" asked one committee member, noticed the blood pooling on the floor under the great forward. "Oh, that ..." gasped Templeton. "I'm fine ... it only hurts ... it only hurts when I .... breathe ... oh, God ..." He then lost consciousness. "Jesus, fellas" said the chairman. "We'd better sign him before Collingwood hears he's on the market." Having said that, I have happy memories of a game at Princes Park where he ripped the Blues a new one. Good times!
  19. On the plus side: Cornes is not afraid to "speak truth to power" (although I suspect there are limits to this, eg when it comes to Port, or AFL head office). On the negative side: he has openly said he admires the US sport commentators, that "big" things up, create controversy, shout into the mike, and generally make a big splash even where a big splash is not needed. For ratings/clicks/whathaveyou. You know the kind: the ones with the aggression, the constant shouting, the controversial predictions. The rightness or wrongness of what they say is secondary to the noise. He sees that you can make a career out of being, essentially, a loudmouth. I resent him for trying to bring this manufactured outrage to a game that has, for well over a hundred years, stood on its own due to its inherent entertainment value. It doesn't need an extra layer of "mayonnaise" (to put it charitably). Why do we need the Corneses of this world "adding" to the experience with their blather, especially when the only ones who are benefiting are the Corneses?
  20. Only one remedy that will shut these numpties up. Winning, winning, and more winning.
  21. He missed hitting all his KPI targets for the match: beat your opponent, stay in formation when we have the ball, provide pressure when we don't, and kick 8 goals.
  22. Same as it did then. Eddie may be a good salesman, but the one-eyed nature of his support for Collingwood has always been his weak spot.
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