Mazer Rackham

Hey, relax. It might have been the Carlton doctors who checked him out.

You would know if he ever did ... mystery poster joins, gets to 1,000 posts faster than anyone else before, then disappears forever.

The surgeon who screwed Hogan's collar bone back together also put a bolt in Max's elbow so he can't straighten it.

OK, but don't buy in to the idea that there is a rule that was violated. There isn't. This "straight arm" garbage is an invention of the umpires that exists nowhere but in their heads. It's one thing for fans to buy in to that, as media & Hayden "bless his cotton socks" Kennedy are talking about this "rule" as if it's a real thing. It's another for the media to buy in as they generally have not much clue about anything and can't be expected to lift what little game they have. But for Kennedy to buy in? He's the chief umpire for gods sake!

Perhaps Kennedy could have .... (light laugh) ... quoted the part of the rules that mention a "straight arm". Oh don't tell me! It's an "interpretation"! The game is being umpired in accordance with rules that exist only in someone's head.

It's back to business as usual for the MRP this week. The strangest thing is how they managed to get the Dangerfield one right a few weeks back. Out of form perhaps. Maybe they were tapering for the finals.

The joke organisation known as "the AFL" does not have them on their web site. Closest you'll find is this, which is their "this season's interpretations" page, full of explanatory videos which no one, especially the umpires, pays any attention to. http://www.afl.com.au/afl-hq/laws-of-the-game Even then it's hard to find unless you use the search function. If you want the actual written laws of the game you have to go aflcommunityclub.com.au or aflvic.com.au. Could anything point more clearly to the AFL's contempt for their own rules than this.

He was probably trying not to wear one. But you know Brad ....

Cricket. Yes, Harry wanted to bring this impenetrable game of elites to "the people". Somehow ignoring that not only toffs, but also bogans, and everyone in between, played it in droves every weekend. Problem was, Harry and his crew didn't know much about it themselves. I think Bill Jacobs had a fair cricket brain but the rest of them were of the "ooh, he's had a big hit at it" ilk. It was like listening to when your uncle who watches one ODI every three years sits down in front of the TV. "Now why didn't that bloke run then? There must have been a run in that!" "He dropped it! Did you see that! How can he drop that catch!?" "Why doesn't he just bowl at the stumps and get him out?"

Harry used to get horribly frustrated by "tiggy touchwood" free kicks. So much that sometimes he could barely speak as he raged over these .... these .... tiggy touchwood frees! No one ever knew exactly what he meant as he never went into any detail but it was assumed he meant the soft frees that were "technically" there but which fans often don't want paid (especially against their side). He wanted 20 frees paid a game. Circumstances be damned. And this was when he was the umpires' boss! The first advocate of not umpiring according to the rules. Maybe that's when the rot started to creep in.

Let's cross to Tommy down in the rooms. Are you there Tommy? I'm ere Arry. Can you hear me? Tommy, have you got Phil Carman there? I don't fink so Arry. I can't see anyfink because it's dark in ere Arry. I fink I've locked meself in the broom cupboard Arry.

unbelievable. or is it all too believable. a bloke can kick someone in the face and still be eligible for the fairest (and best) player award. a bloke with a record at that. i would say the MRP has gone mad except we already knew they're beyond that. wines. airborne. elbow. to the head. there are some previously suspended players out there wondering what the f*** is going on. along with all the rest of us. the AFL don't mind. it's not hurting ratings or gates so where's the issue???

Here is the problem in a nutshell. Read the rules. They are so badly worded that "interpretations" are required to fill in the gaps. Not just the media, even the umpires department (!) have bought into the idea that there are "interpretations" and even that the "interpretations" can change over time. It doesn't seem to occur to them that "interpretations" of rules are a bad thing (leading to all the things being complained about in this thread) and highlight the slackness and carelessness of the AFL in this area. (Example: they are quick to bring in "blurcam" on the goalposts when there's a bad goal ump call and someone cries out that "this could cost someone a premiership!!!" But turn a blind eye to the larger and more endemic problem that may have already cost several flags over the journey, most recent example: last year.) How about .... blueskying here ... rewrite the rules so they are clear and unambiguous? I realise that's not 100% possible but hey AFL .... give it a try? Maybe improve on the permanent shambles that you currently have, and which is getting worse? There are rules that "everyone knows" but are not actually in the rule book. There are rules in the rule book that get ignored. The "guidelines" on how rules will be "interpreted" that the AFL put out before each season has a useful lifetime that doesn't stretch much past the pre season comp. Not to mention the "rule of the week", "rule of the quarter", or even "rule of umpire no. XYZ". The AFL see all this and happily buy into it. Their lack of action shows that they don't have a problem with any of it. For all their big noting, they are a joke. If not for the MFC and countless hours of hope and dreams foolishly invested in them over many years, I would have given up on AFL altogether.

"Never attribute to malice that which can also be explained by incompetence" -- Winston Churchill, Benjamin Disraeli, and Mark Twain (in committee)

I've spotted the problem

Hird's "good bloke" genes must be something powerful to overcome landing the AFL in its biggest scandal in its history. game in disrepute bees d*ck from an entire team being suspended swathe of sackings and resignations fines galore possibility of future health issues ... stacked up against: good bloke

The Carlton doctors said he was dead! So he was probably just sleeping off a hangover..

Just like the AFL exec. Going hard on the easy targets and looking the other way the rest of the time. Could be an admin role in Jobby's future! AFL football ops manager, after an apprenticeship as personal barista to Gil.

Wow, the drugs must have finally worn off.

The entire footy media is now an embarrassment with their open biases and allegiances. In "good old days" no one knew who anyone "barracked" for. Even ex-players on panel shows were straight up and down and for some it took me years to know who they had played for once upon a time. Now it's considered acceptable and even laudable to parade their allegiances. Generally it's not desirable or advisable to turn the clock back but this is one area where it was definitely better in "the good old days". For bonus points, guess who it was that opened the flood gates on this cancer?

One player gets one week for a dangerous tackle. Something that has happened many times before without the sky falling. Sometimes unfairly! But now all of a sudden it happens and people want to change the Brownlow system?

The tribunal members who managed to simultaneously find Steven Dank guilty of injecting drugs into Essendon players, and Essendon players not guilty of being injected by Steven Dank, have been roused from their cryogenic chamber deep below AFL house. Sirens are sounding and the backup electrical system is in place. All rooms and corridors are bathed in red light. The PA is sounding a recorded message of a sonorous female voice. "Emergency. Proceed to tribunal hearing room. Emergency. Proceed to tribunal hearing room. Emergency ..." Gil is alert but not alarmed. These heroes have pulled off the impossible before, some of them more than once. Will they once more be equal to the emergency?

So the MRP failed to make their weekly outrageous decision. Fortunately the AFL have the tribunal as a backstop. They have planned for all contingencies. A QC will claim that Danger did not in fact tackle Kruezer, as a matter of fact it wasn't even a game of Aussie Rules, that the MCG does not exist, that Danger himself does not exist and even if he did this very situation is in the Magna Carta. The tribunal will find this credible and convincing and Danger lines up next week.

Would it be reasonable to say that the Taswegians are "adopting" North as "their" team? Or at least the Hobartegians? Or still a ways short of that? Are the various-egians just pumped to see live AFL? Does that pave the way, "if" Tassie get their own team, that it could be a transplant eg North?

Must be terrible winning only one flag by a kick. How many coaches would give their right [censored] to be in that dire situation?