The No T$ No B$ Thread

[ManDee 7,124]

45 minutes ago, old dee said:

Philistine!

Is that near Cairo?

 

BINGO!

Edited October 21, 2018 by ManDee

[pineapple dee 2,892]

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

[old dee 23,505]

22 minutes ago, hemingway said:

No Old I quit rum and other hard licquor many years ago. How do you think that I reached such an old and venerable age. Despite Uncles comments I am fit in both spirit and body. 

Your earnest fightback Old is admirable. Enough to keep the thread going for a little longer. I am prepared to concede defeat. My only problem is that it allows Uncle to ventilate his deviant thoughts and fantasies. 

Do you think you could moderate your banana boasting comments? 

 

I like uncles ramblings it reminds me that the world is inhabited by numerous types. Your last request is falling on deaf ears. 

[old dee 23,505]

2 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

Get out of the bloody road you banana hater.

[old dee 23,505]

Well we have breached a landmark that has never been achieved before and probably never will again. The sad part is the creator is nowhere to be seen. Hooray for insanity long may it reign.

[beelzebub 23,200]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

Who....are ....you ?

and what have you done with the ( here fellow readers I fall short of adequate description. I was leaning towards...the 'q u e e r  one' but in this day and age that has a newer meaning that's tran-scended its original...just like Fred's gay old time...but then who knows )

Monster Jam.... sounds a horrid concoction. Does one spread it on toast I wonder.

Edited October 22, 2018 by beelzebub

[hemingway 7,615]

31 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

Understandable predicament. 

Pineapple (now there's a fruit) you are one of a dying breed, respectful. It should be a catchphrase for this entire site. 

The Madam thing is confusing, just like opening a car door or giving way in a lift.  However, increasingly, in our politically correct society, respectful behaviour becomes insulting behaviour. 

In your case, I would have asked the good lady whether she had tried the bananas recently. 

Other suggestions for building rappore and politely ensuring she gives ground would be ask questions such as; 

Are they in season ? When are they ripe for eating? Have you tried any lately? Are the big ones or the little ones the tastiest? How long do the hard green ones take to ripen? 

Perhaps just say that as a Pineapple lover you are out of your depth on the banana front and would she have any recommendations?

Or simplest of all, just ask the greengrocer in a loud voice, "excuse me, I cant see the bananas. can you tell me whether you have any in the shop. 

Oops., I just realized that I have become sympathetic to Old Dee's defence of the humble banana. Please refer all future questions to the OD and other banana lovers who want to share their messianic message on the physical and spiritual benefits of this talisman.

 

[daisycutter 29,343]

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

[Moonshadow 17,556]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

Is that what the servants remove from your toes after a pedicure, Uncle?

[old dee 23,505]

32 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

Reminds me of that Peggy Lee song " Is that all there is"

[old dee 23,505]

Mr Leg where the hell are you?

[layzie 33,020]

Should auld acquaintance be forgot. In more ways than one.

[beelzebub 23,200]

1 hour ago, old dee said:

Mr Leg where the hell are you?

 

[Dee Zephyr 19,174]

No No No!!

[hemingway 7,615]

3 hours ago, daisycutter said:

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

I graciously conceded Daisy. Just don’t shoot the messenger. A lift in post standard is required so that life doesn’t revolve around chats about bananas. A little more imagination is required otherwise the number of posters visiting this place will dissolve like an over ripe banana. 

We have been given a reprieve by his Gracious Highness WJ and his coterie of faithful priests. I suspect that no further warnings will be issued and unless there is a lift in interest this thread will self destruct or posters will have the rug pulled. 

The silience from Mr Leg is deafening. This does not bode well. Unless we hear from him by the end of the week,  I would suggest the future of this thread be revisited. As the originator if this thread he should have final call on it’s future. Unless of course one views the continued existence of this thread as a charitable way to look after the mental health of OD. He did seem to go into meltdown over the possibility of boning this thing. 

[daisycutter 29,343]

23 minutes ago, hemingway said:

I graciously conceded Daisy. Just don’t shoot the messenger. A lift in post standard is required so that life doesn’t revolve around chats about bananas. A little more imagination is required otherwise the number of posters visiting this place will dissolve like an over ripe banana. 

 

that's how we prefer it, ernie. we don't want the barbarian hordes, the nuffies and the great unwashed. it's a haven ernie not a free for all gang bang open marriage.

let's keep the existing quality content, but limited to quality posters (not quantity)

p.s. ernie, pull your socks up, you're on probation

[hemingway 7,615]

37 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

that's how we prefer it, ernie. we don't want the barbarian hordes, the nuffies and the great unwashed. it's a haven ernie not a free for all gang bang open marriage.

let's keep the existing quality content, but limited to quality posters (not quantity)

p.s. ernie, pull your socks up, you're on probation

i get it Daisy, it’s not the orgy of open marriage, it’s incestous and restricted to consenting adults although Uncle may have something to say about that. Without new blood though, the gene pool is diminished and the existing lines will die out particularly given the suspected age of some of the participants. Yours truly excluded.  Anyway, that’s all for now. I will withdraw for a while and see if I have enough imagination left to write another narrative centred on the eccentricities of a group of fanatical football supporters in Spain or Italy loosely based on my experiences down under. 

Edited October 22, 2018 by hemingway

[Demon trucker 1,800]

6 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

Better to say, " get out out of the way b

[Biffen 12,842]

A thousand pages of piffle.

Well done all.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,066]

I must say some of the above posts indicate that  Ernie has become an even sadder shadow of his former corporeal self. However, that is not the reason for this post.

Rather it is to share a new joy.

I have just finished the first course of my dinner at The Manor and have to say that the chef has outdone himself with a new dish. It was a tomahawk steak. This particular cut was something akin to Tasmania in size - although , I must admit, it lacked the tantalizing shape of the traditional "map". He artfully topped this with a sautéed chicken breast and then wrapped it in bacon. A masterpiece right there ….. but …. the piece de resistance  was totally immersing it in a delightful creamy asparagus sauce. A side dish of potato wedges was an appropriate accompaniment.

MSG free and totally organic. 

I am currently quaffing a decent shiraz while awaiting dessert.

LG!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,066]

54 minutes ago, Biffen said:

A thousand pages of piffle.

Well done all.

Among which, Biffen, your hallucinogenic meanderings have been particularly insignificant.

[Red and Bluebeard 2,077]

So we pass the first millenium, despite the despairing Hemingway. The quality of this thread is not strained, nor can it be measured by simple statistical means. The volume drops off when we are successful, and surges when we are not, following a well-worn cycle of triumph and tears. Ever will it be so!

[Redleg 40,228]

19 hours ago, beelzebub said:

 

Heading to Noumea aboard the Rock Cruise. Great music. 

[Redleg 40,228]

Have the houses started falling yet?

[Redleg 40,228]

11 hours ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

So we pass the first millenium, despite the despairing Hemingway. The quality of this thread is not strained, nor can it be measured by simple statistical means. The volume drops off when we are successful, and surges when we are not, following a well-worn cycle of triumph and tears. Ever will it be so!

Can’t believe it we hit the 1000 pages and I am out of Oz. It is making me homesick.