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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

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I quite liked the poem.

The juxtaposition of warring fruit and the

descent of mankind .

The loss of innocence ,yet still told in an iconic bush balladeer format

concealing weighty ideas.

BBO ,whilst proficient in modern banter and it's rythmic nuances,

has re-invented a traditional metier and given it a new timbre.

4 stars.

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    Well folks, we've reached land and are here on the Gold Coast where conditions are perfect for some r & r after the nerve wracking events of the past week and a half. I suppose you're all wondering about the shenanigans on the banana boat and how it all ended. Well, here's a brief summary:

    The ship's captain offered us some coffee once they removed our gags and freed us from the ropes that bound us to our chairs. He explained we had been caught up in an Interpol operation against a vicious gang of international terrorists who were using sporting facilities to store weapons for use in their nefarious plan to one day dominate the world.

    The leader, Al Kyder (aka Vlad the Impaler but a man with several aliases) had been captured alive and taken to the Pentagon for further questioning. His accomplice, the Michelin Man, broke down under interrogation after he was deprived of donuts and Tim Tam biscuits for 17 hours and confessed to everything. The son was released and was last seen wandering around Circular Quay in Sydney just having a look around.

    "But what about the tape? What happened to that?"

    "Oh, the tape. Yes, well Vlad did manage to crush it into a thousand pieces but that's not a problem. It contained a compilation of Barry Manilow songs - we managed to switch it back on the ship before Phil grabbed what he thought was the authentic tape. We made copies anyway and returned the original to the MONA Museum."

    Well, that was a relief. Feeling the throbbing from the lump on the back of my head, I asked,

    "But why was it necessary to attack us, then tie us up and bring us back to the ship?"

    "Our men have been training for this operation for a long time. You were wearing the distinctive orange and charcoal livery of Al Kyder's international terrorist franchise. They had to disarm you when capturing the ringleaders. It was only when they brought you back on the ship that we realised your true identity."

    It turned out that Interpol had been on to Vlad for years. They had vision of him sitting at the MCG during the Jordan McMahon game. The rest of the row was occupied by you know who and his punk son. They had the kid bugged at Hong Kong airport on his way home from the MFC trip to China and knew all about the plot to recruit him to GWS. His fourth placing in the inaugural best and fairest at Blacktown was a signal to the rest of the terrorist group that the attacks would start in four month's time. It was no surprise to learn that a rogue former UN identity had joined the AFL as one of its investigators.

    We also got the news that the AFL commission would meet on 29 January to exonerate the Demons of all possible charges in the tanking affair and, by way of compensation, the MFC would be awarded the first five picks in the 2013 AFL National Draft. The Giants were to be expelled from the competition at the same meeting (to be immediately replaced by the Tassie Mappers). All would be good in the world again.

    Things got even better on the last day of the cruise as the ship entered the Brisbane River. Redleg and I (and our respective wives) were sunning ourselves on the deck and drinking banana daiquiris when the ship's purser handed us our envelopes. They were from the Governor-General advising us that on Australia Day, we were to receive our Orders of Australia for services to the country and to sport.

    For the second time since we embarked on the cruise, Redleg fainted.

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    Thank god [your deity of choice] for that.

    Do you know when they start on the movie version jack. wouldn't mind being an extra. i could be the banana daiquiri maker

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    Thank god [your deity of choice] for that.

    Do you know when they start on the movie version jack. wouldn't mind being an extra. i could be the banana daiquiri maker

    I want to be Vlad the impaler but I will need to put on about 30kg so can we have reasonable notice please.

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    Nominations now being taken for roles in the Hollywood production. I nominate myself as myself and Halle Berry as my wife. I'll be doing my own stunts for every scene.

    very cunning

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    Look like AFL is following ultimate footy and going to have a live draft this season for fantasy owners, can't wait.

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    Feeling better now that I have had some banana yoghurt. Sunbaked today, of course using my banana boat sunblock. Lying on a banana lounge. Banana zinc cream on the lips.

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    Feeling better now that I have had some banana yoghurt. Sunbaked today, of course using my banana boat sunblock. Lying on a banana lounge. Banana zinc cream on the lips.

    orgasmic!

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    9

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    Btw can thoroughly recommend five.am yoghurt powerpaks. Yes they come in Banana !!! :-) quite yummy when on the go, cycling, hiking etc

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    9

    I presume that is a countdown to the MFC reply to the AFL on the tanking issue. The AFL will need time to consult on our reply so I am not sure of the value of the countdown. If however it brightens your day count away.

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    8

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    8

    Feeling happier?

    Edited by Redleg

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    Feeling happier?

    yep..does it bug you

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    yep..does it bug you

    Not in the slightest. I am always gratified when someone feels happy reading or contributing to this thread.

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