The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

Apples and bananas dc! Try comparing pumpkins (or, as the more rurally challenged might say punkins) and golf balls! I've spent the best part of today doing just that.

Poor old Bitter is a tad cash strapped at the moment so the notion of changing gas and electricity suppliers held some appeal.

I've spoken to a variety of people with a variety of accents and it seems impossible to get a direct answer about what said services will cost. Good Lord, I even resorted to studying things called websites.

There is no standardisation in how deals are framed. Even my good self who can claim to be at least moderately literate and numerate is left flummoxed. 

If you crave a little self flagellation, don't bother dusting off the whip, just start researching energy costs

FMD

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

[daisycutter 28,640]

47 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

And ... just to top a shitty day off - there is a suggestion that the tax on vino is heading towards the stratosphere

FMD again.

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

and even worse, uncle your favourite goon bags are going to rise from $10 to $54. now that is real fmd news

the only people who escape are those that drink penfolds grange

this is reverse socialism

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

[Moonshadow 16,347]

41 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Goon! 

Goon is forbidden at The Manor dc ( well unless I'm very short of the ready)

Biffen, however, considers it the ultimate accompaniment to a fine meal of baked beans.

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

14 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Whereas you, Uncle, would rather a CC and dry with a lime twist over ice with your baked beans?

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.

[DemonFrog 1,347]

21 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well Moonie, one has to keep an open mind and be prepared to .... err experiment .. in all aspects of life.

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

[daisycutter 28,640]

1 hour ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Edited December 21, 2017 by daisycutter

[DemonFrog 1,347]

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

struggling with your inner feminine side, froggy?

Mrs Frog loves her CC and Dry, but it can only be in a glass container.

 

 

[Moonshadow 16,347]

10 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

CC and dry is a girly drink?

 

Nail. On. Head.

Well done Toady. You're catching on!

Next you'll be understanding double entendres

[Redleg 37,909]

Is fosters lager still made? Haven't seen one in ages. 

[Moonshadow 16,347]

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

[daisycutter 28,640]

26 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

well at least it sounds like it was consensual, moonie.......but did we really need to know?

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

35 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Speaking of which....

I went into a cocktail bar the other day. Asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave me one.....

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

[Moonshadow 16,347]

4 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You should have a double whisky Moonie - that is one [censored] joke!

Bet it's getting retold by Demonlanders as we speak. Comedy gold Uncle! No denying it.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

Well fellow illuminati, I'm sure you will all agree there is nothing like some intellectual stimulation while slurping down the Saturday morning chocolate filled maple syrup bathed and bacon wrapped croissants.

May I refer you to today's Age and an article titled - "Men- only day spas the new gentleman's club". The article focusses on a New York clinic that specialises in various medical and beauty treatments for blokes - no sheilas allowed.

"Non invasive penile enlargement" is available for a mere $6000 but there is a catch - it only lasts 2 years.

In what I thought was an interesting juxtaposition, "anal tightening procedures" are also on the menu. There is a "laser treatment" option for this.

 

[DemonFrog 1,347]

38 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well fellow illuminati, I'm sure you will all agree there is nothing like some intellectual stimulation while slurping down the Saturday morning chocolate filled maple syrup bathed and bacon wrapped croissants.

May I refer you to today's Age and an article titled - "Men- only day spas the new gentleman's club". The article focusses on a New York clinic that specialises in various medical and beauty treatments for blokes - no sheilas allowed.

"Non invasive penile enlargement" is available for a mere $6000 but there is a catch - it only lasts 2 years.

In what I thought was an interesting juxtaposition, "anal tightening procedures" are also on the menu. There is a "laser treatment" option for this.

 

Uncle, have you booked an appointment or two in the American Man Cave?

Do they also serve Australian style bananas smoothie?

[Moonshadow 16,347]

14 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

Uncle, have you booked an appointment or two in the American Man Cave?

Do they also serve Australian style bananas smoothie?

I think that's the lube, Toady

[DemonFrog 1,347]

Merry Christmas one and all.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,409]

3 hours ago, DemonFrog said:

Merry Christmas one and all.

In my typically festive mood 

Happy Christmas to all my fellow [censored]

[daisycutter 28,640]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

In my typically festive mood 

Happy Christmas to all my fellow [censored]

and to you and all, uncle

 

[Diamond_Jim 11,941]

In a country that carries the death sentence for drug trafficking this has to rate as a way out means of marriage proposal:

IPOH: This Christmas Eve would be unforgettable for 20-year-old administrator Yew Kar Yee after she saw the love of her life hauled away by auxiliary police personnel for the possession of an illegal substance at the Sultan Azlan Shah airport.

But that is not the reason why it is particularly memorable.

She was overwhelmed with relief and happiness when she learned that it was all just a staged act, planned by her sweetheart Cheung Chan Choon, 30, who popped the big question to her.

https://www.thestar.com.my/news/nation/2017/12/24/boyfriend-arrested-for-drugs-turns-out-to-be-an-act-for-proposal/

Merry Christmas guys from the Equator

 

[Demon trucker 1,776]

On 22/12/2017 at 7:27 PM, Redleg said:

Is fosters lager still made? Haven't seen one in ages. 

It is Australia largest selling beer overseas

[Ethan Tremblay 28,470]

Fosters lager and Crown lager are the same beer apparently. 

Edited December 25, 2017 by Ethan Tremblay

[Biffen 12,386]

Important article in Fairfax press by a girl who does't like fruit peel in her Christmas Cake.

The Age once again dealing with the real news.

And the ever charming Clementine Ford wrote a gem about being lonely at Christmas (is it any wonder).

[DemonFrog 1,347]

51 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Important article in Fairfax press by a girl who does't like fruit peel in her Christmas Cake.

The Age once again dealing with the real news.

And the ever charming Clementine Ford wrote a gem about being lonely at Christmas (is it any wonder).

Can we blame Uncle for this as well?