As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

58 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

A man of impeccable taste. 

 

1 hour ago, beelzebub said:

As Uncle Bitters has gone to such lengths to besmirch us all I should clarify my preference.

My choice would normally lean towards bubbles and the office cooler is pictured.

My preferred Veuve declined to associate with plastic and left it the tawdry Coldstream Chandon mob to provide.

I'll slum it with Billy or Bollie if one must...and sometimes one....must.

Bit warm for a red.

Excuse me...have to pack for Jolly ol Port D 

Cheers big ears 

 

never seen a urinal like that.........but i like it

14 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

never seen a urinal like that.........but i like it

I think you're just taking the proverbial 

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

A man of impeccable taste. 

 

Funny you say that Ernest.... my new Togs arrived today. Should be just the thing for imminent trip north

15 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Funny you say that Ernest.... my new Togs arrived today. Should be just the thing for imminent trip north

Now BB, using the term "togs" is like carbon dating.

Although not an archaeological dig, the picture tells the story.

You are clearly a baby boomer who enjoys the beach in his togs. 

The phallic cactus design, however, suggests some retro togs recently bought. It also suggests a "middle aged man" making a last ditch attempt to establish .....err lets say tasteful masculinity. 

I am afraid that my togs are an old pair of rather thin speedos that do nothing for my shape and for some reason seems to draw looks of disgust or laughter from the fairer sex. I also seem to attract much attention from the men, particularly the male twosomes, who or some reason seem to approve the look, obviously preferring the retro speedos to the boardies.  

Id be disowned Ernest should i ever wear a pair of 'budgies' 

Tbh.  Id disown myself !!!

In deference to impending trip north...and likelihood of spending much time in pool and with the departure of 'that bloke'  i thought id buy some of his Boardies ...hoping they'd fit !!

If they don't fit I'm cactus...if they do fit I'm...cactus....with a bar near a pool....am bound to be........??

They fit.... I'll still be cactus ???

At least wifey can innocuously ask around... "anyone seen my cactus hubby ?"

In other news, I saw that Jake Lever was in Romsey this week, Uncle Bitter. 

 You didn’t take him down to the manor for a few sneaky glasses of rough red and a jolly good flogging?  Just so long as he stayed away from your Wolf Creek style dungeon.

1 hour ago, beelzebub said:

Id be disowned Ernest should i ever wear a pair of 'budgies' 

Tbh.  Id disown myself !!!

In deference to impending trip north...and likelihood of spending much time in pool and with the departure of 'that bloke'  i thought id buy some of his Boardies ...hoping they'd fit !!

If they don't fit I'm cactus...if they do fit I'm...cactus....with a bar near a pool....am bound to be........??

They fit.... I'll still be cactus ???

At least wifey can innocuously ask around... "anyone seen my cactus hubby ?"

Wouldn't call her "wifey". That is the name of a famous porn star and her site. Will admit though she is a beautiful woman.

44 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Wouldn't call her "wifey". That is the name of a famous porn star and her site. Will admit though she is a beautiful woman.

Wondered myself whether BB was referring to the dearly beloved or a pseudonym.

I assumed given BB's credentials that it was the former. 

Lets face it, it is unlikely that one would be wearing "togs" if catching the sun with the pseudonym.  

Now if it was the good old Uncle, we would be assuming the opposite. 

I must admit, I am also surprised by your admission Redleg that you are acquainted with Wifey.

Perhaps from your perusal of the evidence against a client. Or just research.

1 hour ago, Redleg said:

Wouldn't call her "wifey". That is the name of a famous porn star and her site. Will admit though she is a beautiful woman.

I only know my wife to be wifey....am not au fait with your hobby

Am blissfully ignorant of your better knowledge

4 hours ago, beelzebub said:

In deference to impending trip north...and likelihood of spending much time in pool and with the departure of 'that bloke'  i thought id buy some of his Boardies ...hoping they'd fit !

Watts you talkin' bout Willis?

Did you get the Paul Callery size or the Gawn with the Wind size?

Must confess i can't remember a time i was less interested in this time of year.

One assumes all residences within cooee of Goschs are either razed or in the process. Supposedly something happens Friday but if we still rely on this as a panacea we've gone nowhere. If anyone from this plays for us in 2018 we're in strife so ill only bother a quick perusal for familiarity prior to our festive supper and then its back to the Beanos !!

The good wife has booked us into some silly snorkeling upon the Reef during our venture nth nextvweek ..i expect it's what we tourists must do...i wonder if its Mai Tais , Mojitos or Margueritas for lunch on such excursions. The wonder is deliciously exciting.

Cricket these days seems as exciting as....crickets.

Think im starting to understand Gils attraction to that Chukka past time. At least they have bubbles !!

Well...i see the Trolls are up and at it in other threads. Think I'll leave that alone and savour the sanctuary of civilised , if obscure, nutterings of the varied eccentric raconteurs that on occasion take respite among us.

There is of course all you lot too

57 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Must confess i can't remember a time i was less interested in this time of year.

One assumes all residences within cooee of Goschs are either razed or in the process. Supposedly something happens Friday but if we still rely on this as a panacea we've gone nowhere. If anyone from this plays for us in 2018 we're in strife so ill only bother a quick perusal for familiarity prior to our festive supper and then its back to the Beanos !!

The good wife has booked us into some silly snorkeling upon the Reef during our venture nth nextvweek ..i expect it's what we tourists must do...i wonder if its Mai Tais , Mojitos or Margueritas for lunch on such excursions. The wonder is deliciously exciting.

Cricket these days seems as exciting as....crickets.

Think im starting to understand Gils attraction to that Chukka past time. At least they have bubbles !!

Well...i see the Trolls are up and at it in other threads. Think I'll leave that alone and savour the sanctuary of civilised , if obscure, nutterings of the varied eccentric raconteurs that on occasion take respite among us.

There is of course all you lot too

I'm not sure that you are not boasting BB, making us suffer down here, whilst enjoying the tropics. Be aware of the creatures that lie in wait for the unsuspecting tourist. Keep wifey close at hand.

I must say though that your sentiments about preseason and what may happen on Friday are shared.  Also cricket.

I would normally be looking forward to the Ashes series but not at the moment. As my better half said last night,  its like following the no name brand or black and gold brand of cricketers.  

Is it simply that all the codes are just saturating the market these days and we only have to wait 5 minutes before there is another match, game or competition here or in other parts of the planet. 

It leaves many of us sports lovers feeling jaded.  

Perhaps we need a bit of big game fishing or bull fighting to raise the adrenalin levels.  

10 minutes ago, hemingway said:

 

Is it simply that all the codes are just saturating the market these days and we only have to wait 5 minutes before there is another match, game or competition here or in other parts of the planet. 

It leaves many of us sports lovers feeling jaded.  

 

gotta agree here ernest. when i was young was a big fan of tennis......the davis cup......the big tournaments...etc listing on my radio. then they went full professional and pretty much there were tournaments one after the other all year....most meaningless and the players following the money.....staggering off the plane from one tournament straight to the practice court of the next. I haven't followed tennis now for years

The Funny thing Ernest...is two things I detest are Heat and Humidity...in many ways I travel under sufferance.  I hate summer. Im only going as Im assured there'll be constant access to cooling liquids  or a pool...or both...or similar.

The good lady as does much or her brood relishes  Qld... I'm really not a fan though  Coolum in early Autumn is quite pleasant.

We bloody live 100m from the beach...if i stand up I can just about see it..It holds no mesmerising allure for moi. ( though the Dog does rather enjoy a frollick )

We've just bought land  in Venus Bay...I get to spend 6 months next year..building a house...by the f*&^%$!!!  beach.. Im over them...lol

A cool mountain stream with vistas of mountains, snowcapped.....ahhhhhh now  we're talking  but the Bright build is still years away   ...so alas...Ill go to bloody qld...but dont expect me to enjoy it  (well  not too much )...apparently its some place near the mirage.. so not too shabby ( bloody doesnt want to be  lol )

I of course as I feel sheepish leaving you all will keep you informed daily about the suffering.

Im informed one doesnt wear  crocs up there.....in fact crocs are to be avoided entirely.....apparently the beach  will be in 'stinger' season...i mean wtf is the attration lol... No lets go snorkelling...  in teeth infested waters..

We're not that bright we humans are we....

the bubbles better be chilled thats all I can say.......

Bloody Holidays.

Being retired everyday is a holiday. This year the missus booked holidays in august / sept. To tour Ireland and see family in Scotland.

I was spewing at first but didn't miss anything. She has now booked next years little jaunt Canada / Alaska.

You guessed it Sept./ Oct. Just so she gets a chance to check the Northern Lights off the Bucket List.

My No. 1 is to see another Melb. Premiership. I hope we win 2 in a row

2 hours ago, beelzebub said:

The Funny thing Ernest...is two things I detest are Heat and Humidity...in many ways I travel under sufferance.  I hate summer. Im only going as Im assured there'll be constant access to cooling liquids  or a pool...or both...or similar.

The good lady as does much or her brood relishes  Qld... I'm really not a fan though  Coolum in early Autumn is quite pleasant.

We bloody live 100m from the beach...if i stand up I can just about see it..It holds no mesmerising allure for moi. ( though the Dog does rather enjoy a frollick )

We've just bought land  in Venus Bay...I get to spend 6 months next year..building a house...by the f*&^%$!!!  beach.. Im over them...lol

A cool mountain stream with vistas of mountains, snowcapped.....ahhhhhh now  we're talking  but the Bright build is still years away   ...so alas...Ill go to bloody qld...but dont expect me to enjoy it  (well  not too much )...apparently its some place near the mirage.. so not too shabby ( bloody doesnt want to be  lol )

I of course as I feel sheepish leaving you all will keep you informed daily about the suffering.

Im informed one doesnt wear  crocs up there.....in fact crocs are to be avoided entirely.....apparently the beach  will be in 'stinger' season...i mean wtf is the attration lol... No lets go snorkelling...  in teeth infested waters..

We're not that bright we humans are we....

the bubbles better be chilled thats all I can say.......

Oh BB that really is not only very true but funny.

Many of us can relate to the diplomacy of marriage.

It was noticeable 2 years ago when I spent 2 weeks in Port Douglas with my better half just how much the locals don't tell you. Just like the tourist brochures. I'm talking about stingers, the location of crocs, and other deadly creatures. As one local explained to me, ""no we don't swim at the beach, we swim in pools."

They really regard us Mexicans as a bunch of mugs. 

Anyway as they say in the classics, happy wife, happy life. 

Enjoy.

EH

I'm not venturing far from either a pool...or a chilled drink. As an affecianado of things ferroquinaleous the Kuranda jaunt attracts otherwise....pool....drink !!!

2 hours ago, hemingway said:

Oh BB that really is not only very true but funny.

Many of us can relate to the diplomacy of marriage.

It was noticeable 2 years ago when I spent 2 weeks in Port Douglas with my better half just how much the locals don't tell you. Just like the tourist brochures. I'm talking about stingers, the location of crocs, and other deadly creatures. As one local explained to me, ""no we don't swim at the beach, we swim in pools."

They really regard us Mexicans as a bunch of mugs. 

Anyway as they say in the classics, happy wife, happy life. 

Enjoy.

Don't tell my father, may he rest in peace, but not only do I support a Mexican football team but I also married one.

Long live Mexico! 

1 hour ago, DemonFrog said:

Don't tell my father, may he rest in peace, but not only do I support a Mexican football team but I also married one.

Long live Mexico! 

You married a Mexican football team!?

Tell us more ............... please.

BB " Hopefully not just the pursuit of happiness but catching it " didn't cost you $130000 for that block of land at VB

About 40 years ago I bought a few blocks in VB for $3000 average and retired to property development

I helped set up the Tarwin Sharks in the Alberton League way back then

My self nominated job was social secretary and I achieved  a profit of $19,000 in year 1 out  of a bathtub and the same in year 2

My point. stroll up and be a member of the local community and give it a go.

But don't sell your Melb'n freehold in pursuit of a a happiness !

5 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You married a Mexican football team!?

Tell us more ............... please.

Yes but it's a family secret as my old man was never keen on the Mexicans. 

I don't think he ever accepted the fact that I started supporting a Mexican Football team. But that could be due to my continued singing of the Grand Old Flag after we beat the Shockers. He did appeared to get really upset every time I called after his AFL team was flogged by my Mexican team.

However, on a more serious note, my wife had once commented on the fact she liked Collingwood. That is when I found Demonland!

9 hours ago, puntkick said:

BB " Hopefully not just the pursuit of happiness but catching it " didn't cost you $130000 for that block of land at VB

About 40 years ago I bought a few blocks in VB for $3000 average and retired to property development

I helped set up the Tarwin Sharks in the Alberton League way back then

My self nominated job was social secretary and I achieved  a profit of $19,000 in year 1 out  of a bathtub and the same in year 2

My point. stroll up and be a member of the local community and give it a go.

But don't sell your Melb'n freehold in pursuit of a a happiness !

Im sure ill wander along , buy a snag, sink a tinnie or two.

VB won't be a permanent residence. More a holiday destination for us, our family and friends etc. Probably let out fron time to time.

I can assure you we paid far less than 130...even less than asking

Had originally thought about Inverloch but left our race too late there. Both wife and I had holidayed at VB in younger times and now we just like it as it away from ALL the ratrace. Not a lot in good ol VB. At least theres a Bar

Bunnings have pedestal fans at $11.98 this week.....