On 3/9/2017 at 3:55 PM, Biffen said:

Robert Im not willing or interested in educating you to become a socially acceptable member of society.

I might be able to set you up with a bucket and a squeegee so you can help clean motorists windows at the traffic lights.

I will give you a 3 week trial without pay and a sealed box to put my money in.I suggest you jump at this wonderful employment opportunity.

I would like to give it a go but I think you're trying to rip me off. I checked at Bunnings..I can get a plastic bucket for $2.50 and at Coles a packet of 3 select brand heavy duty scourer sponges is only $3.

My mate Dingo reckons I can get 20c for each car (he gets a dollar but he's done it for a while.) So I think I could do about 2 or 3 cars and hour so over say 10 hrs ......................  .I would be ............I mean you would be .....making about say $6 a day...not bad. You would be getting a 100% return on your investment on the first day!

Multiply that by 3 weeks and we are looking at quite a haul. Dingo also reckons that making me do a 3 week unpaid trial sucks. Dingos mate Squirrel has also offered to help by looking after my bong and the sealed box.

 

2 hours ago, hemingway said:

Who is Special Robert ?           Special Robert has a special complex or disorder best off ignoring.  Seek treatment Special Robert.  The other Special folks on this thread who don't call themselves Special although they may think they are, are either on treatment, not on treatment or so far off the spectrum they defy diagnosis. Like other special folks in the community they exist because they have special people that accept them.  But Special Robert the worst thing you can do is ingratiate yourself in the hope that you will be able to befriend them. They are very contrary and can turn on you in a second. Beware!  

Thanks for the heads up Hemingway ...but Squirrel reckons I've got Biffen right where I want him.

9 hours ago, hemingway said:

Who is Special Robert ?           Special Robert has a special complex or disorder best off ignoring.  Seek treatment Special Robert.  The other Special folks on this thread who don't call themselves Special although they may think they are, are either on treatment, not on treatment or so far off the spectrum they defy diagnosis. Like other special folks in the community they exist because they have special people that accept them.  But Special Robert the worst thing you can do is ingratiate yourself in the hope that you will be able to befriend them. They are very contrary and can turn on you in a second. Beware!  

Now listen here Ernie! Just because you're dead and Special's alive is no reason to be cruel to him and try to dash his social climbing aspirations.

He's poor and lives under a road FFS!  Knocking back Biffen's generous offer shows that he's unwilling to work so he needs to ingratiate himself.

 

PS Special! Handing over some of those laptops you filch off lawyers would be  wonderfully ingratiating.

PPS. I'd especially like a peek at Redleg's.

Special,

Unless Squirrel and Dingo are acclaimed business consultants then I should think you will learn lots more working for me.

Nobody can give you a firm grounding in capitalism and the vagaries of market forces than I SR.

My 3 week trial gives you a chance to really earn your stripes and will give you self respect and a sense of purpose.Squirrel and Dingo only want to steal your money so that's why Id like you to use the sealed box I'm willing to provide for free.

I'm happy to give squirrel and dingo a sealed box and a different squeegee each to join the "team".

You can be team leader Robert.

This is a Special offer!!

On 3/8/2017 at 9:26 PM, special robert said:

BBo ...free wi fi in the city and we often get  a different device depending on which gentlemen of the legal fraternity stray too far down William st....and lose their way and become our prey.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

I've met the man (and I use that term very loosly, such was my confusion), so have Biffen and your fine self Maple. Can't be that picky. Matter of fact, I'd go so far as to say he was able to hold his head just a little bit higher in our company. 

I'll bet you brag about meeting Uncle Bitter while sipping your inner city, no MSG  fair trade lattes Moon.

In fact, you probably get a freebie out of it.

12 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I'll bet you brag about meeting Uncle Bitter while sipping your inner city, no MSG  fair trade lattes Moon.

In fact, you probably get a freebie out of it.

No, I'd get no service if I mentioned Uncle Bitter. My morning deconstructed soy latte with a caramel twist is way too important to risk

You're absolutely right Biffen, white men are hard done by these days. This guy, the chairman of Tesco, claims that white men are an endangered species in current day boardrooms. He'd know, he's, um... er, a privileged white male and he's in the boardroom of a major international company, so that, er, proves it I guess...

 

Edited March 11, 20179 yr by Moonshadow

Wow.

I thought Biffen would always be recognized as the most seedy and morally compromised yet endearingly (?) eccentric member of 'land but this Special Robert bloke is almost lobbying for a role as his Sith apprentice. This is the most entertainment I have had for quite some time.

 

9 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

You're absolutely right Biffen, white men are hard done by these days. This guy, the chairman of Tesco, claims that white men are an endangered species in current day boardrooms. He'd know, he's, um... er, a privileged white male and he's in the boardroom of a major international company, so that, er, proves it I guess...

 

I'd sack him and give the job to a woman.Preferably of colour.

Men shouldn't be in supermarkets anyway.They should be killing buffalo or hunting whales,like real men.

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

51 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

But at least the merc didn't break down or your driver go out on strike in sympathy with the taxi drivers

Edited March 11, 20179 yr by Moonshadow

1 minute ago, Moonshadow said:

But at least the merc didn't break down or your driver go out on strike in sympathy of the taxi drivers

True enough Moon, there is always an upside I suppose.

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

ouch! 3 of the big 5 in one week

Anyone go to Moomba! It was totally awesome. Squirrel found a KFC box that still had a whole piece of chicken in it.

Don't worry Uncle Bitter we got a dentist last week, at the bottom of Queen St going into one of those 24/7 gyms. ......come and hang out with us and we'll look for a vet.

Plumbers are a bit difficult but if there was you me Squirrel and Dingo I reckon we could snare one.

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

ouch! 3 of the big 5 in one week

Thank you for your sympathetic ear dc. There are some here who seem to take delight in my misfortune.

Who are your other two?

I think we would agree on lawyers. A flogging from those scoundrels leaves one suffering for weeks.

My fifth is my Dermatologist. The tinea you understand. Nasty business that. 

32 minutes ago, special robert said:

Anyone go to Moomba! It was totally awesome. Squirrel found a KFC box that still had a whole piece of chicken in it.

Don't worry Uncle Bitter we got a dentist last week, at the bottom of Queen St going into one of those 24/7 gyms. ......come and hang out with us and we'll look for a vet.

Plumbers are a bit difficult but if there was you me Squirrel and Dingo I reckon we could snare one.

Congratulations on the windfall Special. I trust Squirrel shared the bounty.

As to hanging out with your little group. Well I'm sure you're all fine resourceful fellows but I've always found, and no offence meant,  the world turns a little more easily if we all stay within our given social class.

It's the natural order.

I'm sorry you gentlemen are going through such difficult times. I hope you go to church on Sunday mornings and you pray really hard so that you might find deliverance through the success of our football team this season.

Special Robert,

 If you gave more attention to your trade and less to the Moomba parade we would all be wealthier .Well I would most likely.Get back to work.Stop gallivanting and start cleaning windscreens .Know your limits!

On 12/03/2017 at 11:06 AM, Spirit of the Demon said:

I'm sorry you gentlemen are going through such difficult times. I hope you go to church on Sunday mornings and you pray really hard so that you might find deliverance through the success of our football team this season.

Shouldn't they be going to a Wiccan ceremony or goat sacrifice if they want us to improve?

I went to moomba and enjoyed it. 

My immediate concerns and thoughts though are about wikleaks and Julian Assange.

If Bitter but Optimistic was lockedup up in the Ecuadorian embassy i would buy shares in tissues

Edited March 13, 20179 yr by Wrecker45
To swap hands

13 hours ago, Wrecker45 said:

I went to moomba and enjoyed it. 

My immediate concerns and thoughts though are about wikleaks and Julian Assange.

If Bitter but Optimistic was lockedup up in the Ecuadorian embassy i would buy shares in tissues

You are one sick puppy with that edit Wrecker45. You fit in well on this thread!

Is there anyone here from New Zealand who thinks anyone cares about their thoughts?

Like Derryn does?

We don't.

39 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Is there anyone here from New Zealand who thinks anyone cares about their thoughts?

Like Derryn does?

We don't.

Biff I have just come back from the North Island does that count? And you are probably right. 

9 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Biff I have just come back from the North Island does that count? And you are probably right. 

I don't buy their wine.Or their whine.

On 3/12/2017 at 8:39 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

Uncle just look at it this way, what goes around comes around! It was clearly your turn! When you win Tattslotto, I'll be the first around with some celebratory "Beverages" 

Edited March 14, 20179 yr by picket fence