37 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Ewe lot crack me up.

Eggcellent!

That's it you lot, stop the puns, my Ugg boots are off the market! Now move on before the Spanish Inquisition shows up! 

12 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

That's it you lot, stop the puns, my Ugg boots are off the market! Now move on before the Spanish Inquisition shows up! 

I know some people who could create or advise on some tools for the Inquisition if you like, Earl. I hear the Spanish Tickler was popular back then.

14 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

That's it you lot, stop the puns, my Ugg boots are off the market! Now move on before the Spanish Inquisition shows up! 

I'd appreciate it if you sent Conchita over anyway Earl - the pelt inspection.

2 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I'd appreciate it if you sent Conchita over anyway Earl - the pelt inspection.

Not the kind of Spanish Tickler I was talking about, Uncle Bitter.

14 minutes ago, Maple Demon said:

Not the kind of Spanish Tickler I was talking about, Uncle Bitter.

No Maple you are right.

I just googled it and remembered I had seen the device displayed in the Inquisition Museum I visited in Cartegena in Columbia some years ago. Not pleasant at all but then if a woman could not prove she was not a witch well who am I to step in and stop the tickler bring applied? 

And Uncle unfortunately Conchita had to go home for family reasons last week. I always assumed she was Spanish but my man Hudson drove her to the airport and reported that she took an Aeroflot flight to Moscow! Yes I am confused. 

4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 A sheep of fools!

Ship of Fools. A great song by World Party.

Loved by those who wear sheep skin, seat covers, on their feet.

Thank you to all the ratbags who live vicariously on this thread. There are times when in deepest despair I turn to this thread for light relief and to catch up on affairs of state, International trade, and activities at the Manor. From Cuba to Romsey, from bananas and guava paste to ugg boots and Conchita.  Reading the other threads is just so depressing and this  week I got close to ending it all (you know my penchant for alcohol and firearms and my underlying pathology of depression and sense of futility in staying alive). And of course following this crazy football team triggers many of these pathologies and behaviours. Then I turned to this thread and my salvation. Thank you to all the wonderful characters that live on this site. Bitters, Earl, Redleg, Maple, Daisy, OD, Picket, Emerald, Red and Bluebeard, Wiseblood. The list goes on and apologies to those not mentioned who frequent this thread with intelligence, humour and matters of utmost seriousness. You make my day and give me hope that there are enough ratbags out there that make life worth living and provide reason to think that following this crazy dysfunctional football team is worthwhile. What wonderful irony that this thread has for the most part, nothing to do with football. 

3 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

No Maple you are right.

I just googled it and remembered I had seen the device displayed in the Inquisition Museum I visited in Cartegena in Columbia some years ago. Not pleasant at all but then if a woman could not prove she was not a witch well who am I to step in and stop the tickler bring applied? 

And Uncle unfortunately Conchita had to go home for family reasons last week. I always assumed she was Spanish but my man Hudson drove her to the airport and reported that she took an Aeroflot flight to Moscow! Yes I am confused. 

Earl, that is presumably because only Aeroflot flies to Cuba ... 

5 hours ago, daisycutter said:

i thought we'd heard the last ugg boot pun 

That would be the ultimate ugg boot pun, of course, and I doubt there would ever be one of those ... after all ugg is half of bugger 

7 hours ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

That would be the ultimate ugg boot pun, of course, and I doubt there would ever be one of those ... after all ugg is half of bugger 

bit like the guy who named his dog fuggly in honour of that endearing footwear

Edited April 5, 20169 yr by daisycutter

9 hours ago, daisycutter said:

bit like the guy who named his dog fuggly in honour of that endearing footwear

Fuggly Fido the ugg boot warrior? Sounds a bit like a Sylvester Stallone movie. ... ??

28 minutes ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

Fuggly Fido the ugg boot warrior? Sounds a bit like a Sylvester Stallone movie. ... ??

Tango & Cash...now there was a movie that was most definitely not a classic.

Biffen, just wondering if you have found a new base of operations for your various 'business' endeavours?

19 hours ago, hemingway said:

Thank you to all the ratbags who live vicariously on this thread. There are times when in deepest despair I turn to this thread for light relief and to catch up on affairs of state, International trade, and activities at the Manor. From Cuba to Romsey, from bananas and guava paste to ugg boots and Conchita.  Reading the other threads is just so depressing and this  week I got close to ending it all (you know my penchant for alcohol and firearms and my underlying pathology of depression and sense of futility in staying alive). And of course following this crazy football team triggers many of these pathologies and behaviours. Then I turned to this thread and my salvation. Thank you to all the wonderful characters that live on this site. Bitters, Earl, Redleg, Maple, Daisy, OD, Picket, Emerald, Red and Bluebeard, Wiseblood. The list goes on and apologies to those not mentioned who frequent this thread with intelligence, humour and matters of utmost seriousness. You make my day and give me hope that there are enough ratbags out there that make life worth living and provide reason to think that following this crazy dysfunctional football team is worthwhile. What wonderful irony that this thread has for the most part, nothing to do with football. 

That’s all well and good, Ernie, but how about telling us where that last, great unpublished manuscript of yours is. We could make a fortune out of it, enough to keep all the ratbags (as you call them and who am I to disagree?) on this thread in bananas until MFC finally wins a flag.

Presumably it’ll need a bit of updating for publication in these strange times. I’d suggest you let Biffen loose on it to toughen up the language (you’ve been getting just a bit too sentimental in your old age if your posts here are any guide). And BBO will obviously be able to provide plenty of advice about those things you might not be so familiar with in terms of modern … err, relationships, for want of a better word.

I’m happy to volunteer as a pale imitation of Max Perkins if required (for a healthy fee, obviously) but I think those two should sort out most of the issues for you.

19 hours ago, hemingway said:

Thank you to all the ratbags who live vicariously on this thread. There are times when in deepest despair I turn to this thread for light relief and to catch up on affairs of state, International trade, and activities at the Manor. From Cuba to Romsey, from bananas and guava paste to ugg boots and Conchita.  Reading the other threads is just so depressing and this  week I got close to ending it all (you know my penchant for alcohol and firearms and my underlying pathology of depression and sense of futility in staying alive). And of course following this crazy football team triggers many of these pathologies and behaviours. Then I turned to this thread and my salvation. Thank you to all the wonderful characters that live on this site. Bitters, Earl, Redleg, Maple, Daisy, OD, Picket, Emerald, Red and Bluebeard, Wiseblood. The list goes on and apologies to those not mentioned who frequent this thread with intelligence, humour and matters of utmost seriousness. You make my day and give me hope that there are enough ratbags out there that make life worth living and provide reason to think that following this crazy dysfunctional football team is worthwhile. What wonderful irony that this thread has for the most part, nothing to do with football. 

Hemingway I know how you feel. BTW I had a stallion named after you.

What you need to do is put on the ugg boots, over the desert boots, make yourself a banana smoothie and sit down in your favourite chair and watch an episode of bananas in pyjamas.

That will calm you down and make you see what is important in life.

7 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Hemingway I know how you feel. BTW I had a stallion named after you.

What you need to do is put on the ugg boots, over the desert boots, make yourself a banana smoothie and sit down in your favourite chair and watch an episode of bananas in pyjamas.

That will calm you down and make you see what is important in life.

I love you Redders, a person of sensibility, understanding and taste. 

37 minutes ago, Maple Demon said:

Tango & Cash...now there was a movie that was most definitely not a classic.

A more interesting challenge is to name a Stallone movie that is a classic ... 

11 minutes ago, Dr John Dee said:

 

That’s all well and good, Ernie, but how about telling us where that last, great unpublished manuscript of yours is. We could make a fortune out of it, enough to keep all the ratbags (as you call them and who am I to disagree?) on this thread in bananas until MFC finally wins a flag.

 

Presumably it’ll need a bit of updating for publication in these strange times. I’d suggest you let Biffen loose on it to toughen up the language (you’ve been getting just a bit too sentimental in your old age if your posts here are any guide). And BBO will obviously be able to provide plenty of advice about those things you might not be so familiar with in terms of modern … err, relationships, for want of a better word.

 

I’m happy to volunteer as a pale imitation of Max Perkins if required (for a healthy fee, obviously) but I think those two should sort out most of the issues for you.

 

 

That is an awful lot of bananas, which makes it a bit like this thread ... 

12 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Hemingway I know how you feel. BTW I had a stallion named after you.

What you need to do is put on the ugg boots, over the desert boots, make yourself a banana smoothie and sit down in your favourite chair and watch an episode of bananas in pyjamas.

That will calm you down and make you see what is important in life.

But we are playing the bananas in pyjamas this week (sorry for bringing footy into this )

19 hours ago, hemingway said:

Thank you to all the ratbags who live vicariously on this thread. There are times when in deepest despair I turn to this thread for light relief and to catch up on affairs of state, International trade, and activities at the Manor. From Cuba to Romsey, from bananas and guava paste to ugg boots and Conchita.  Reading the other threads is just so depressing and this  week I got close to ending it all (you know my penchant for alcohol and firearms and my underlying pathology of depression and sense of futility in staying alive). And of course following this crazy football team triggers many of these pathologies and behaviours. Then I turned to this thread and my salvation. Thank you to all the wonderful characters that live on this site. Bitters, Earl, Redleg, Maple, Daisy, OD, Picket, Emerald, Red and Bluebeard, Wiseblood. The list goes on and apologies to those not mentioned who frequent this thread with intelligence, humour and matters of utmost seriousness. You make my day and give me hope that there are enough ratbags out there that make life worth living and provide reason to think that following this crazy dysfunctional football team is worthwhile. What wonderful irony that this thread has for the most part, nothing to do with football. 

Attitudes are contagious, is yours worth catching?

YES !!

14 minutes ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

But we are playing the bananas in pyjamas this week (sorry for bringing footy into this )

Naughty boy!

Might have to send Uncle Bitter over to give you a jolly good flogging.

Edited April 6, 20169 yr by Maple Demon

47 minutes ago, Maple Demon said:

Tango & Cash...now there was a movie that was most definitely not a classic.

Totally agree, a little overshadowed by Big Trouble in Little China which had was released at the same time.

But nothing beats Thunderbolt and Lightfoot!

1 minute ago, Biffen said:

Totally agree, a little overshadowed by Big Trouble in Little China which had was released at the same time.

But nothing beats Thunderbolt and Lightfoot!

What about Turner & Hooch?

32 minutes ago, Maple Demon said:

Biffen, just wondering if you have found a new base of operations for your various 'business' endeavours?

Not yet Maple ,

I am still fielding offers for the sale of the businesses involved but my base at The Gat is secure for the near future.

The wrecking balls are safely at bay for now but I have seen a dramatic loss in revenue as my clients move to less exclusive areas for their various medicines and massages.

Never easy being a health professional.