Johnny Karate

The weekend's loss was a 10+ goal hiding masquerading as an "honorable" 28 point defeat. They massacred us everywhere but the scoreboard. Brisbane played 6 teenagers, Jack Viney & Jimmy Toumpas miss their first crack at an interstate trip. It reeks of Bailey keeping Trengove & Scully in cotton wool for Geelong in 2010 (but at least he played Gysberts). Is there a team in the league with less going for it right now than us? These results are untenable. The coach must go - results aside he has failed at the fundamental level of extracting any semblance of discipline, structure or competitive effort out of his team on matchday. It's hard to recall/imagine anybody else doing a worse job as coach.

Range Rover should coach - he knows all.

What I find confusing is that it was neither banned nor approved when the alleged injections took place - yet players may face bans after the fact. Does that mean that I can expect speeding fines for all those times I was driving 100kph on the Monash before the resident bean counters reduced it to 80? Is this the type of logic WADA/ASADA operates on? As an aside - wouldn't it be great to be a part of an anti doping agency? You're accountable to nobody and if you fail to catch cheats you can just put your hand out for squillions of dollars worth of govt/taxpayer money.

I think the Bulldogs and to a lesser extent St Kilda are suffering from blowback due to an extended run at the top without achieving the ultimate success. The older players are still good but you could forgive them for suffering a lack of hunger due to fact they are on their way down the ladder. The fact that they pretty much put all of their eggs in one basket in going for a flag means that there is no raft of players coming into their prime to put pressure on for spots which leaves a catch 22 situation where you either gift games to kids who haven't earnt their stripes yet or keep a bunch of old hacks in the side who will keep you moderately competitive. The Dogs have also been appalling at recruiting/developing KPP's & are having to play an array of NQR talls to fill holes. While the output has been poor it seems also that the players have a better relationship with their coach & there isn't the same colossal failure to grasp their gameplan. The heat will come if they fall into same completely uncompetitive hole that we have fallen into. Out of our 5 wins since round 1 2012, 4 have been against the expansion sides. Out of the Bulldogs 6 wins only 2 have been against the Suns & Giants. Our win-loss ratio flatters to deceive.

And therein lies his communication problem. Regardless of what he really meant - the phrase cheap seats can be taken out of context & twisted by anybody with an agenda. If he meant people taking "cheap shots" - say that. If he meant the hysterical media commentariat - say that. "Cheap seats" was a (most likely unintentionally) divisive term to use. The natives are restless it's best not to provoke them, Mr President.

I like McLardy and want him to do well. He seems like a nice bloke who loves the MFC. As I'm sure all board members past & present have been to varying degrees. However, he does seem out of his depth. He definitely has a communication problem and there is a growing perception that he is a spin merchant. He is not dealing with the public pressure well. After the horrific loss against Essendon - Don initiated a PR blitz and the message was while the results were unacceptable he was confident in the people/ processes in place at the MFC and wouldn't be changing anything based on external pressures on the club. Two days later he sacks the CEO when he was defending his performance two days earlier. We have had one of the worst starts to a season in history. The Andrews report, tanking saga and now the Dank/Bates affair point to a crucial breakdown in communication at the club which in turn has put players off-side, eroded supporter confidence and trashed the brand in the eyes of the wider AFL community. If the board/president isn't ultimately accountable for that then who is? Despite years of crap Melbourne supporters voted with their feet and consecutive record memberships were achieved from 2007-2011. They also voted with their wallets and wiped out the club's crippling debt in 3 years. Fools. Imagine these ungrateful cretins wanting to see some return on their emotional and financial investments. We aren't some slobbering mass of armchair experts who expect perfection but after 5 years is it too much to expect the team to be winning (or even competitive) against real teams? Is it too much to expect the board to not hire/let f/wits in the football dept land us in deep [censored] with the AFL? Is it too much to ask to not be a complete laughing stock? Is it too much to expect some sort of accountability rather than buck passing, spin and blame shifting?

I don't have a problem with people clapping the team off at half time. What worries me is reports that the song was sung twice after the game today. No problem with players and staff enjoying a win but FFS can we beat a real team before we start doing laps of honour?

Fair point. I believe so, however, others may disagree.

There's calling it as you see it & then there's putting all your faith in someone with a 4-21 W/L ratio (which is actually flattering) who makes ostensibly bizarre decisions based on the fact that there are known unknowns.In short, perhaps it's actually you who is twisting the facts to suit your agenda of supporting Neeld. I support the club, since Neeld has walked in it has gone from bad to worse. Hint: there could be a correlation.

I chose to believe in his first year, admittedly on the conservative basis that sacking a first year coach was untenable & it was only reasonable to give him another pre season, another clean out & a fair crack at it. I was under no illusions that our list was pox & that we could be 0-3 to start the year but it is the lack of competitiveness that is truly damning. Bailey's teams were loose in defense but Neeld's are absent. His man management decisions have generally been appalling: Moloney, Gysberts & Magner are all C graders but why would you get rid of 2 & leave one on the rookie list when the team sucks at clearances? Why didnt he trade Bate when he had the chance? There's something to be said for identifying/luring players on the outer at their current club to play a role - Mumford, Kennedy, Shaw, Mattner & McGlynn have worked a treat for Sydney while Houli & Grigg were shrewd selections for the Tigs. There's a difference between picking up players like that compared with past it, limited players like Byrnes & Rodan as well as middle of the road NQR's such as Sellar, Gillies & Pederson. He's taken a poor list and made it the worst in the competition because he hates players like Sam Blease & loves plodders like Tom Couch.

Too early to call. Andrew Walker had an amazing debut & first couple of games for Carlton while Adam Cooney was fumbling all over the shop. 5 years later Cooney was a Brownlow medalist & Walker an underwhelming flanker. I can't help but feel if Toumpas was playing for Port behind a midfield of Ebert, Cornes, Hartlett, Boak and Wines was playing at Melbourne behind N Jones & Viney we wouldn't be saying "why did we pick up another slow bulldozer with shonky footskills when we could have had a classy line breaking midfielder? FMD."

Agreed. If it was Malthouse doing/saying this it would go down easier as he has an aura about him as well as runs on the board over a long & successful career to back up an inflated ego. I appreciate Neeld's conviction but he's approached it as though he was popularly elected & he's using his political capital to push through change. Our admin popularly elected him and gave him a mandate for change - our players didn't. He has seemingly failed to acknowledge this and it's got them offside.

Our second half aggregate is 6.8.44 to 39.31.265. It's unacceptable. We won 7 out of Bailey's first 46 matches as coach then went 15-18-2 out of the next 35. We had a bad game against the Hawks & then were incinerated by Geelong during an inconsistent season amidst a backdrop of interference in the FD by key admin. Bailey copped it in the neck because our "talented youth" were underperforming. We then hire a bloke who has come in with all the subtlety of a bull in a china shop. Surely he was hired to get the best out of Bailey's youth as well as teach them how to defend better while still being able to spread offensively (in the 30 games since Bailey was sacked we've passed 100 5 times & 3 of those were under flipping Viney!). Instead he's got rid of more senior players as well as underdeveloped youth, got nothing for Bate when he had the chance & replaced those players with cast offs/VFL players. The only players on the list to have markedly improved are N Jones, Clark & T McDonald while others' careers have gone down the gurgler. We've won 5 out of 30 games since Bailey was sacked & four of those are against the expansion sides - Neeld has turned a mosquito bite into a festering sore. If he doesn't go & this garbage continues it will cost us millions of dollars in lapsed membership & sponsors. It will cost us our few good players on the list, it could cost us our club into the longer term. No individual is bigger than the club - seeya Mark!

Free Agency Tactician - Vito Corleone Whether it's a free agent thinking of leaving the club or operation 'Get Buddy' - Don Vito is a master negotiator and an expert at making irrefutable offers.

Nice. Club Psychologist - Jack Burns Former CIA operative who is also a great poet & philosopher. Once 'broke' a cat & trained it to use the toilet. He could be the man to convince our players that they are actually league footballers.

It's time for a regime change at the Dees. The status quo cannot continue. The club needs to be radical & bring in the best people available from around the world to turn around the club's performance: President - Kim Jong-Un A young leader who has a great ability to rally the troops. A hard taskmaster but universally loved and respected. He would bring in an influx of new members & surely give us a cutting edge in football's arms race. CEO - Bernie Madoff A financial guru with a proven ability to generate mountains of cash with minimal investment. He may have to undertake his position via correspondence due to some current commitments in the USA but unlike past CEO's like McNamee he isn't time poor. Coach - Gordon Bombay Like Brendan McCartney at the Bulldogs he didn't play AFL at the highest level. However, he is a great man manager & has a great gameplan. Headlines of the 'Flying Dees' would be just around the corner. Recruiting manager - Joseph Kony A proven eye for securing talented youth. List manager - Homer Simpson With so many middle of the road players on the list Homer would be delighted to oversee the cut. Sports science - Stephen Dank & Lance Armstrong Would inject a real sense of competitiveness into the playing group. Social committee - Lindsay Lohan & Brendan Fevola Would head up the crucial end of season bonding trips and would plan after match functions for Demons members. Would put the fun back into social functions. Opposition analyst - Austin Powers An international man of mystery, Powers could sneak into the most closed of opposition training sessions. Would have to keep him away from our player's wives & girlfriends but his talents in this area could also put the wind up the opposition. Media manager - Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf Better known as Comical Ali. A former Iraqi information minister, he has proven himself adept at media relations & PR in the face of incredible adversity. Junior Ambassadors - The Wiggles Like the Pied Piper of Hamlin, they have hypnotic & mystical powers. Would secure the club a never ending supply of junior members. They would look fantastic in red & blue skivvies. These are but some of the changes that could make this club a real force. Who else should we look at for key positions at the club?

His cousin Rick is going to coach us? He could handle some of the 'walkers' on our list. "This isn't a democracy anymore!"

During 2012 I was of the view that despite underwhelming results Neeld should be given a fair crack at it. Muppets calling for his head in 2012 were being hysterical. Of course, they'll try & claim some sort of divine foresight now (King et al). However, the only reasonable position for the club (or any reasonable person) to take was to deal with a season where we were hopefully going backwards to go forwards. Neeld had to deal with an absurd amount of off-field distractions which would've just about been the toughest coaching initiation in history. The landscape has changed. Neeld should go. He has made a bad situation worse. I've never seen a team scream "we don't want to play for this bloke" any louder. He has had another pre season, training to elite standards (lol), got rid of the players he didn't want & brought in a whole new raft of NQR's rather than developing the ones that were already there. If he was any sort of coach he would have them putting in on match day. Whilst there always would've been pressure on at 0-2 the lack of effort has stood out like a sore thumb. While there will be some who use the argument: "who is a better alternative?" I honestly don't believe that anybody could be worse than Neeld. We need a caretaker coach who can instill some confidence back into the players and elicit a modicum of effort out of the group on match day. Meanwhile, the club can spend the rest of the year headhunting the best available coach. Sacking the coach is an infinitely better alternative than letting this club slide further into mire with uncompetitive performances.

I understand what the OP is getting at but I think the horse has bolted. What qualifications do they bring to the table other than them being former Melbourne players who were pushed out the door in an arguably ill considered manner? It would be great to see them around the club now & again but "jobs for the boys" hasn't exactly been a raging success. See Connolly, Chris; Lyon, Garry.

Who? What have I missed? Was out to dinner updates guyz pls!!!!

The article raises some valid points. The tackle stat is an indictment on Sylvia's work ethic. The fact is that he isn't a midfielder's bootlace & the ball won't get to him up forward. He's a poor man's Alan Didak - a lairy, icing on the cake player who'd look a million bucks at a club that was flying.

She is Dunn's mother. They don't speak. When they did speak they rarely spoke about footy. Her opinion is about as informed as the rest of ours.

I blame the Demonland banner. Biggest curse since the sacking of Norm Smith.

Really good OP that covers all bases well. Sunday was pathetic not just the result but the manner in which it played out. A few weeks ago I held grave concerns for some of my fellow posters who seemed to think victory was assured. Given the lack of competitive effort on Saturday it seemed as if the playing group & coaches also expected Port to be pushovers. Some may accuse me of pessimism but I felt that our W/L ratio & ladder position wouldn't improve & could go backwards coming into 2013. 2012 established that there was a fair gulf in talent between the bottom 5 clubs & the rest and there wasn't a strong case as to how Melbourne could significantly close that gap never mind be significantly better than fellow cellar dwellers Port, Dogs, Suns & GWS overnight. However, all that does not excuse the lack of effort on Sunday; the sheer laziness of it was mind blowing! How can 67kgs dripping wet Jake Neade pin 90+kg Col Garland in a tackle when all of our blokes tackles were slipped? Where was the mongrel? The support for your team mates? The shepherds? The intensity? The desire? Playing group & coaches were responsible for all of the above & if nothing changes soon all & sundry should face the chop.

I don't understand when it became a crime to have an alternate view on a forum. I can't think of how boring this place would be if it were everybody just agreeing with one another. Can we take the politics to the general board please? A lot of what is being posted is irrelevant & embarrassing. This is coming from a leftist.