Chook

Option 1 (Success): This Club has no Clash Jumper, because it won't bow down to the AFL's arbitrary rulings. Supporters of other Clubs hate it's foul-mouthed, arrogant supporters. Playing what many consider "ugly football," this team uses every trick in the book to win the game. Flooding, tunnelling, you name it. Averaging the most suspensions and rushed behinds, this team will do anything to win a game of footy, and has the silverware to show for it. The Club wins a Premiership every 10-12 years, but spends only 2 out of every 16 years in the top 4, and 4 of 16 in the top 8. Seeing the Nab-Cup as little more than a farce, this Club has never advanced past the 1st round. In any other year, the Club languishes at or near the bottom of the ladder, because it knows that there is more to be gained by cutting more senior guys that won't take it to a Flag. This Club wins the Wooden Spoon more often than any other team in the Competition, but also receives more number 1 draft picks. In its good years, this Club averages more people to it's home games than any other team in the Competition, but in those years where the Club finishes outside the 8, crowd numbers and memberships decrease significantly. This is a Club with a fickle supporter base. David Neitz never played his 300th game, as the Administration quietly told him during the '06 off-season that he would not be part of their future plans. Adem Yze, James McDonald, Cameron Bruce and Jeff White were traded for youngsters as soon as their talents began to fade, as were Jared Rivers and Colin Sylvia, who were both unable to reach their full potential. None of these players received a farewell game. Option 2 (Sentiment): This Club's clash jumper is universally derided, but given the Club's lack of financial independence of the AFL, there isn't really anything that can be done about it. On the bright side, the Demons of this Universe are everyone's second team. Always exciting, this team plays fast, running footy, and averages the most points kicked, one-percenters and tackles per game. Unfortunately, it also regularly gets cricket scores kicked against it. This Club wins a Premiership only once every 20 or so years, but spends 5 out of every 16 years in the top 4 and 10 of 16 inside the 8. This team is regularly in contention, but never wins the big one. In fact, at times it seems this team is destined never to even reach a grand final, never quite getting there due to it's inability to make the hard calls on players that just don't quite make it. Indeed, this team is rarely out of the finals yet never really seems to be a top 2 side. It is, however, the only club to win 4 consecutive pre-season cups. It also holds the record for most super-goals kicked in a game; twelve. This Club has not won a wooden spoon since 3 years before the draft system was implemented, but holds the dubious record of most 9th place finishes. Despite it's poor supporter base, this club has by far the highest supporter-to-member ratio, and it's membership re-uptake is second to none. This Club's supporters stick with it through thick and thin. This Club values loyalty above anything, and it's players regularly celebrate 250th and 300th game milestones. Rarely a participant in trade week, this club prefers to draft Victorians, and has had the most games played out of any club by fathers-and-sons, as well as holding the top 3 positions on the most consecutive games played record list. The average age of this team's round-22 team is often up near 30, as this is often "farewell round" for the Club, in which upwards of 4 veterans are given a final hurrah. This team always manages to provide something special in games like this, rarely losing. Coached by a former club champion, this team rarely smashed teams but quite often records massive come-from-behind wins. Which Club would you prefer to barrack for? What is winning a Premiership worth to you?

Rich > Naitanui > Watts

I love you, YM! This is the kind of thread I'm interested in.

Credit: Belzebub59

I was a little of with who I thought would get the votes, but I finished with 24 on the button.

ADAM COONEY?!? Maybe the 2003 Draft isn't total crap after all.

You're doing pretty well. I've got 8 left, but some have come from strange games. White and Yze?!? I got Bruce's two against the Dogs right.

For the record I think that Chance Bateman will win the Brownlow.

Well researched post, 45. But I think that stat's a little exaggerated by the fact that the Pies seem to have a good match-up vs the Swans. Having said that, I can't argue with their extended record interstate. Do you think they do well because of their larger supporter base interstate?

Thanks for that QFT. Edited. BTW, welcome back YM.

Edited Brock McLean: 6 votes (3 Freo at home, 3 Brisbane at home) Cameron Bruce: 3 votes (2 Western Bulldogs at the Dome, 1 West Coast) Matthew Bate: 3 votes (1 Freo at home, 2 Essendon) Simon Buckley: 3 votes (3 West Coast) Nathan Jones: 2 votes (Brisbane at the 'Gabba) Austin Wonaeamirri: 2 votes (Freo at home) Paul Wheatley: 2 votes (West Coast) Paul Johnson: 1 vote (Brisbane at home) Aaron Davey: 1 vote (Freo at home) Colin Sylvia: 1 vote (Essendon) TOTAL: 24 votes

They won just over half their interstate games. For a club that beat just over half their opponents, that's probably what would be expected.

My only criticism of it is that there are a few younger supporters that I've shown the picture to, that don't like it because it "looks too much like Carlton's." Those who know of our history, and also about Fitzroy's jumper, etc. obviously won't think that, but it might be something to consider. Melbourne kids who only hate Carlton cause their parents do, might also dislike anything that reminds them of that club.

A little too Travis Johnston-like. I would be upset if we got him. Not the player many thought he would be.

So these are all the different shades used in the various jumpers?

This is a quick alteration of one of the clash strips from above, with the (universally disliked) silver replaced by red.

Speaking of Archie Thompson, how good do you think he'd be if he played AFL? Or, how good would Australia be if we had Lance Franklin, Aaron Davey, Matthew Pavlich, Gary Ablett, etc. playing Soccer from a young age. Personally, I think we'd be right up there. Boy it'd be exciting.

What happened in that game?

There was a shot for goal late in the third quarter against Essendon a couple of months ago that Colin took. It just seemed to me that there was something about that kick. 45 meters out on a 45 degree angle. A tough shot on a windy day, but one that would put us in front for the first time. I was sitting all alone in my room and said aloud to no-one in particular "This is it. If Colin makes this shot, he'll make it. If he doesn't, then that's it." He made the shot. We lost the game, but I am now inexplicably convinced that given the time he deserves, Colin Sylvia the #3 draft pick will transform into the player we all know he can be.

Yeah, but forwards don't poll. I remember in '05, Robbo won us a game against Geelong at the Cattery with about 6 second-half goals. He didn't poll a vote.

I'm going on record as saying Brock McLean polled 6 votes in total. That's 3 in each of our two wins. No other player will poll more than 2 votes. Edit: I forgot our "win" against West Coast. Maybe Cam Bruce and Brad green also polled in that game, bringing their totals up to nearly the four mark. Maybe.

Great post! It's a shame you've joined during our off-season. I did the same last year and, although I still found the site interesting, it's much better during the footy season. 8. Remember that if a player under the age of 27 plays a good game, they're destined for super-stardom. But if they play poorly the next week, you are obligated to recommend sacking not only him, but the coach, the leadership group, the guy who ties the player's bootlaces and anyone even remotely involved in recruiting him. 9. Colin Sylvia is either one good pre-season away from becoming a star, or a talented jerk who's only problem is his attitude. You must pick a side, although you are able to change teams based on his performance in the last game. 10. Every player in the competition is up for trade, regardless of their contract status or value. But all trade proposals must be in no later than round 6. 11. Collingwood are known as the filth, Essendon are the Scum, Carlton are Cheaters and Hawthorn are the Tassie Hawks. These names are not interchangeable. 12. Andrew Demetriou shall only be referred to as Vlad. All decisions made by the AFL are solely as a result of his burning desire to see the Demons perish. Enjoy your stay.

John Butcher has got to be the most fearful, manly name I've heard in a long time. Butcher the Demon Spearhead, grabbing balls and splitting packs . . . I like the sound of that!

I'd be wrapped with getting Harvey, but not just as a midfield coach. I've heard he rates his ability to mentally prepare before a game. If he comes to the Demons, I'd love for him to be able to impart some of his knowledge in that area to our younger guys.

I have clearly substantiated my position but how about you substantiate your assessment of how competitive our list was 12 months ago? Come on I dare you. i.e. "I've found a back-door out of my bold claim, so why can't you?" But on the topic, I thought we'd be very good in 2007 and was incredibly disheartened by our year. So much so that I hardly went to a game. I felt so bad about that that I went to every Victorian game this year and never left early, no matter how badly we were doing. It was worth it. I feel good now.