Mazer Rackham

The involvement of "Integrity" Pickering means that anything is possible. Don't count your chickens. With "My Word Is My Bond" Pickering for a manager, Lewis is just as likely end up playing rugby in France. The only sure thing in this trade is that it's going to get dark at night, and the sun's going to come up in the morning.

You can't see him rolling over when Essendon or Carlton hit the front against us.

"I won $650 on the first roll on Treasures of Egypt! And, I heard some rumours about Jordan Lewis."

First we got Cross and was terrific for us. Then we got Vince and he's also been very good. Lewis is a supercharged Cross/Vince. I don't like him but I'm not blind to his virtues. Probably means he'll end up at St Kilda. If you asked Pickering how he was and he said "good", you'd call an ambulance.

"Well well well. If it isn't young Jagger showing up to get his flag on a plate after me and Mitch and Lewis and Hodgey have been doing the donkey work at minimum wage for years ... and Tyrone ... what's that softc*ck doing here? And this new Mitchell ... too much like hard work to jag a flag at the Swans? Yeah, come to the Hawks where they fall from the trees til you trip on them. Razzin' frazzin' rhubarb rhubarb ... I wonder what property prices are like on the Gold Coast ..."

Wow. I was led to believe the Hawks are the consummate masters of team harmony and player trading. First they dump Mitchell to free cap space sensitively transition his career to its next phase. (Lucky for them he's professional enough not to dump on them in public.) Now they've tried the same on the crown prince and got him [censored] off. They're a happy team at Hawthorn. But they're the consummate masters! They never put a foot wrong!

ASADA established that Charter ordered TB4, that the Chinese lab shipped stuff supposed to be TB4, that the Chinese believed it was in fact TB4, that Charter received the shipment thinking it was TB4, that the chemist mixed it up according to how you would prepare TB4, that Dank injected it in concordance with a regime of TB4. And there were these "consent forms" saying "I hereby give permission to be injected with thymosin". And the players did indeed receive injections. Hardly a botched prosecution. The AFL tribunal said, what if it WASN'T TB4!?!? What if it was ...... SOMETHING ELSE and the vials just SAID TB4!? In effect, what if it was really icing sugar and engine coolant? The only way to know would be to go back in time and have a lab analyse the exact batch of stuff sent from China. That's not comfortable satisfaction. That's not even reasonable doubt. That's looking for absolute proof. The tribunal said, if we can't know what was in that shipment, then there's no point going further. Case dismissed! That's why the tribunal decision was scorned. Even before the tribunal convened, there were warning signs. The members were hand picked by the AFL presumably because of a propensity for a certain way of thinking. Enter Jones, the chairman and esteemed beak who some years before managed to find Barry Hall not guilty of striking so he could play in a grand final.

This decision should be easy and should have been made months ago. What hold has Jobby got on Gil? Why is Gil dithering? What private commitment has Gil made to Jobby that requires time for Gil to work his deal making magic and thereby extract himself from embarrassment? It seems that Gil is trying to avoid a situation where Jobby runs to Robbo saying "Gil promised me I could keep it."

I had thought in my innocence that a CEO of an organisation is the one empowered to make decisions, on a daily basis. If his decisions go against the philosophy of the business then the board can step in. Or if he thinks a pending decision conflicts with said philosophy then he can kick it upstairs to the board. But when a CEO makes public statements that his business is committed to clean sport and wishes to protect clean players, then this particular decision is easy. If a CEO refuses to make decisions then one presumes the board is duty bound to step in and replace him.

It was Jobe who initiated the drive for "consent forms" for the players. Not the action of a man who thought it was all completely above board and comprising harmless supplements. It shows he realised there was potentially something wrong, that the players needed to be protected against. And before the drug years of 11/12 and his Brownlow, the thing Jobe was best known for was his aborted sit-down protest against umpires. I know he was a lot younger then but it showed appalling judgement.

Yeah, I grabbed her by the mundi too but she slapped my face. How did you get away with it?

This applies to the entire AFL comp.

Here we go. Laying the groundwork. "Well we CAN'T take it off Jobe, because Sam REFUSED to tell us why he should get the medal. You can't blame us! We're trying to go about this the right way, but Sam ... he REFUSED to front up!" "the AFL is fully committed to clean sport, for the sake of all players from all clubs" Yes, Gil. Pull the other one. It squirts AOD-9604 cream! A meeting in mid-Nov. A month to gauge public opinion and massage the non-decision accordingly.

Imagine what Dank might say if he was forced in court to talk. Might blow away the "innocent little lambs led into depravity" line they've pushed for 4 years.

Scene: AFL house, Tuesday night. CEO's office. Gil McLaughlin: Sh!t. Peter Gordon told me they'd get off! Mark Evans: You didn't believe him surely? GM: I know ... but he spoke so well. Pronounces his words so beautifully. There's something about a man in a horsehair wig that makes me go all shivery ... um, anyway, he swore they'd be fine. ME: Yeah, but it doesn't change anything. They're still cooked. But we'll have to get on to Jobe now. GM: There's a bit of a problem there actually. ME: The media? Oh, the players association. GM: No. Jobe. I already told him he could keep it. ME: What'd you do that for!?! GM: Oh, I met with him and some of his boys back when we were running the tribunal against them*. Told them to sit tight and everything would work out for them including the Brownlow. ME: Isn't that a bit ... out of order? GM: Hey. I'm Gil McLaughlin, pal. Brother of Hamish. (pause) There's only one way out of this. ME: Robbo? GM: Yes. Bring me the Fatphone. * = this part really happened!

Jeez! That's one for the ages. I could have sworn that Peter Gordon said that "these young men have been subject to one of the gravest injustices in Australian sporting history". That the CAS finding " contains factual errors" and "unsupported propositions of law." Surely it was a lay down misere. Those damn Swiss. We're the ones who are supposed to have kangaroo courts. I bet they're all NRL supporters.

This is Gil's nightmare scenario. Not the drugs. Not the blackening of the names of the EFC and the AFL. No. It's that now he'll have to make a decision.

Could be as low as 22 after priority picks to Coll, Carl, Ess and Rich.

I checked out League Unlimited to see how they were coping ... Jesus. Had to fight through the confetti and streamers to see what was going on. What a heartless bunch of merkins (to use LU language). I advise you not to check it out, it's utterly tasteless.

The "secret formula" is just a yes/no questionnaire. Score one point for every Yes answer. "If Brisbane rise up the ladder, will your bonus go up? Yes/No" "If Brisbane pull more attendees, will the TV $$$ go up? Yes/No" No computer required, just a self-interested AFL executive.

Cuts both ways. The AFL were complicit in the first place.

"If a man is too stupid to learn how to fish, just buy him a damned fish and get it over with. If he's really stupid, get him to buy you a fish."

Matthews was a great player but apart from that, a strange cat.

Get used to it WA, the ride has only just begun

Strange confluence there. But seeing as you asked ... Dylan + Robbie: All along they watched Flower The princely number 2 While all the women came and swooned All the grown men too Dylan + Yoda: Down before you call him a man, how many roads must a man walk? In the sand, how many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps? Yes! How many times the cannon balls fly must, before they are forever banned? The answer, my friend, blowing in the wind is. The answer blowing in the wind, is. And now, all three! This ball from me, mama take. Use it any more I cannot. The dark side I sense! Getting dark it is, too dark to see. Knocking on heaven's door, I can feel. Hmm! My boots in the ground, mama put. Them anymore, I cannot use. Coming down, that dark side is. Knocking on heaven's door, I can feel.