Mazer Rackham

Trivia question. Which game has the older set of rules. Australia Rules Football, or Association Football (ie, soccer)?

A 300kg man slamming you into the turf in a manner that would get you 6 weeks in the AFL, with your head hitting the ground with 50g of force, can also make concussion worse.

I see! You've 'shopped him to make his eyes look farther apart! Doesn't work though. He's stlill a deformed freak.

I'm happy to keep talking up the EFC/AFL failings until the cows come home. Never forget!

Look at it this way. Why did the Bombers lash out at the AFL, ASADA, WADA, etc, etc, sack their CEO, sack their football boss, sack their high performance manager, wage a PR war through the media, try to get the Feds to kill off the investigation .... But the bloke who did the injecting has been treated with kid gloves. It's like they don't want to provoke him. Why?

"Sir Bob". AFL website has an ad for a tribute to "Sir Bob" today. WTF????????????????????? Is he the only bloke who's ever missed out on a flag? Is he the only bloke to play 300 games? What am I missing?

We never did see her best. Neeld told her she played like a girl and lost her before she'd even started.

So ... I thought the 4 games must be a bit low. I took all MFC players from the 90s, 00s and 10s. Removed those still playing (Jones, Watts, etc etc). Stuck 'em in Excel. And got these results: 185 players 4.6 years average on list 51.7 games average Would expect most clubs to be similar. These numbers include players like Scully and Byrnes who played elsewhere before or after. So those players actually have higher no of years/games than counted in the MFC lists. My numbers are therefore a low figure but probably only by a bit.

Hear hear. They tried to dope their way to a flag. Not a few rogue players trying to get an edge. The club. Nearly the whole team, with the connivance of the coaches and administrators, were on a cocktail of performance enhancers. When the AFL found out, they tried to cover it up. They weren't interested in the corruption of their comp, until it became public knowledge. Only then did they haul arse to "get to the bottom of it" while at the same time trying to minimise the punishment. We won't hear the whole story until a jacked off player spills his guts, some 10 or more likely 20 years in the future when it's ground away at him to the point where it's too much to bear any longer. TL;DR: the club doped up big time and the AFL tried to get them off. Never forget.

Don't buy Homebrand wax?

Ambit claim. Plus, that's what they are asking for. Here we have the employer already offering it!

Pretty serious stuff. The AFLPA will undoubtedly be pushing for post-career training and health plans for retired footballers. Rather than just a pay rise. Won't they? For that reason I am happy for the players to be rewarded handsomely. But claims for super, long service leave, etc, are having a lend.

Classic logic error. "If the police had been on the ball they would have put in place better security and I wouldn't have been able to rob that bank."

God. it must burn Hird up. Knowing that they'll all be in a very good place when the truth comes out. I suppose it's the AFL, Demetriou, McLachlan, ASADA, WADA, CAS, Fed police, ALP, Worksafe, and the boy scouts all colluding to prevent it. Can't be any other explanation.

Double negative. "Thompson never understood why Essendon self-reported on that fateful February day in 2013 because the key figures in the football department were adamant no prohibited substances were given to their players." Fixed.

How about ... under certain circumstances. The Pies to win, with each of their 22 belting an EFC player and copping 6 weeks.

This is where we'll see how seriously the players take their rep association. If the players think the AFLPA really represents them, they'll tell the AFL to get knotted and to talk to the PA or no-one. On the other hand, if they play along and deal directly with head office, then they're giving a clear indication that the PA does not represent them. And Paul Marsh can go back to cleaning Gil's pool without distraction. My bet: well before then, the PA will have a revelation and accept the 20% on offer.

You are forgetting that on April 25, they are "heroes". (Somehow) Best result: Collingwood thrash them. Then Eddie on an emotional high extends Buckley's contract for 2 more years.

It would be like Brisbane with Fevola or Richmond with Cousins. A big chunk of salary cap, a misfiring player past his best who isn't committed, a spot on the list wasted, and a lot of heartache. We have a list in really good shape and don't need to put a grenade under it by getting Ablett.

We'd have won if we KICKED STRAIGHT. Seems like every week, we have some casual shots on goal early, and miss them. Does this club believe in a thing called scoreboard pressure? Why worry about the first shot on goal, or the second, or the third ... if you think you're going to get 30 tilts at it? Trouble is, at 1.4 to 2.0, the scoreboard pressure is on us! Seven goals to nothing in 3rd quarter ... bad. Not icing the match in the last 2 minutes ... bad. Neither one a factor if we KICKED STRAIGHT in the first place.

Our spies have gotten hold of the audio of the MRP meeting after round 2. No individuals can be identified but here is the transcription, without further comment .... Morning, boys. Morning. Good weekend? You bet. Went down the beach with the missus. What about you? Not much. Mowed the lawn. Did you read the Herald Sun this morning? They reckon Hogan will get a couple. I reckon he'll get a couple too. Did you see it? No. I just heard he might get a couple. I wonder what the MRP will do to him. Knackers, we're the MRP. Are we? I thought we're the match review panel? We're that too. Are we? Well, i hope we're getting paid double! Alright. First case. Player Hogan. Number one for Melbourne. What'd he do? Dunno. Let's play the video. So what are we looking for? Where's the incident? Can't see anything. Play it again. It must be where that Carlton bloke falls down. Rewind it. Yes ... there he goes. See? Where he falls down. They're suspending Hogan for that!? That's just a love tap! You can't get suspended for that! It's not netball! That newspaper bloke doesn't know what he's talking about. Now here it is from a different angle. Jeezus! Did you see that big bloke drop that Carlton bloke? That's gotta be four weeks! You doofus, that's the same incident from a different angle. Oh, is it? It's a contact sport but those deliberate rushed behinds are sacrosanct. What are you talking about? I heard Gil McLachlan say that. He didn’t say that. He said the head is sacrosanct. Yeah, something like that. Reckon Hogan's in trouble then. That's four weeks if it's the head. Reckon that newspaper bloke must be right after all. Alright boys, tick your boxes. Let's see now ... hey, does anyone know what "negligent" means? Nup. Nup. I'll tick it anyway. What have you got? Low impact, medium impact, high impact, negligent, careless, ... What? Give us a look ... you've ticked every box, you [censored]! You're only supposed to tick one in each section! Oh, are you? Where's it say that? Right on the top. Oh, so it does. You know what, that's very clever of the AFL. What did you tick? Accidental, deliberate, negligent, severe, and dog act. Dog act? Give us a look ... you numpty, you can't write down your own categories. Well, you should be able to. Every week there should be one dog act. It's not netball, you know! Alright, what do we give him? You can't get suspended for a love tap. Too right. Our game's not netball. But gee, the way that other bloke hit the deck ... How about two down to one? Done. Done. Alright. Pub? Yep, pub. Hang on .... what's this? "Doctor's report?" Doctor's report? Since when has Hogan been a doctor? He deserves weeks for staging as a doctor. Shut up, I’m reading ... blah blah assessment ... considered opinion ... consequently ... That sounds serious. Are all doctor's reports that serious? Well, when my doc reported that me old man had cancer it was bloody serious! We'd better give him a couple to be safe. That would be the responsible thing to do. The what? I dunno. That's what that copper said when I told him I’d walk home. Are we agreed? Three down to two? Three down to two. Yep. Alright. It's been a long morning. Pub? Pub. I thought you'd never ask. Anyway that Hogan ... You reckon he's in trouble?

If the MRP had any involvement, we'd eventually see someone penalised for being sober and not crashing/killing someone.

Reminds me of an old joke. One day Ethan showed up to work, only he wasn't Ethan any more, he was Evonne. He'd had a sex change operation. "Geez", we said. "Did it hurt when they ... you know .. chopped off your ... you know." "Yeah" said Evonne. "That did hurt, but that wasn't the thing that hurt the most." "And it must have hurt when they pumped all that silicone into your chest." "Well, that hurt too. But that wasn't the thing that hurt the most." "What was it that hurt the most?" "When they cut my salary in half." (The traditional ending is "when they scooped out half my brains" but in this modern day and age no one would dare try that one on. Unless you don't care for all that political correctness, in which case choose the ending that suits your particular outlook on life.)

He's every chance to get up. The injury is mostly bruising. The "surgery" to remove the toe nail is something a GP can do. Not saying he's a definite starter but by no means rule him out.

I've lost a toe nail AND had a hairline fracture of the jaw. (Not at the same time.) I can assure you that the toe nail is by far the more painful and debilitating injury. Roll on round 16. PS. Bernie should play. Once the toe nail is off and the swelling goes down, you're good as gold.