Moving The Goalposts

[Demonstone 23,569]

There has been much talk of late about the best way to handle the situation when the footy hits a goalpost. 

Some have suggested that, as long as the ball goes through the middle, it doesn't matter if it touches a post along the way and should be awarded a goal.  Traditionalists would argue that the rule is fine as it is and a behind should remain as the correct score.

In addition, there is the thorny issue of the Score Review which is universally loathed as it kills the momentum of the game, takes a long time to reach a decision and is often either incorrect or inconclusive.

However, there is another option that has been alluded to in the past but never properly examined and whose time I think has come.

I propose that any time the football comes into contact with a goalpost, both the big sticks light up with a series of bright, colourful LEDs (just as cricket stumps do when hit) accompanied by a loud, cheesy electronic musical jingle heralding the start of a period of ...

MULTIBALL!!!

The lights and music would trigger a trapdoor on each wing of the oval to open* whereupon a spring loaded mechanism like a jack-in-in-the-box would propel another football in a graceful arc onto the field. 

There are now three footies in play for a period of five minutes.  I would also be amenable to ten minutes.

Here are what I see as some of the benefits of such a glorious addition to our wonderful game.

~  Just imagine the buzz of excitement and the frisson of anticipation as the posts light up and the music starts.

~  The fun, the chaos, the madness, the unpredictability and the sheer joy of it.

~  New fans would be attracted to the game just for the chance to see MULTIBALL!!! in action.

~  Kids would love it.  Get 'em young and keep 'em for life (aka the McDonald's strategy).

~  You would be close to the action no matter where in the ground you are sitting.

~  Scoring would increase and we might even see the return of full-forwards kicking 100 goals in a season.

~  New employment opportunities would open up for MULTIBALL!!! specialist coaches.

~  TV broadcasters could have a four-way split screen with one dedicated to each footy and the other showing the whole ground. 

~  Commentary would be unintelligible, banal gibberish, so no change there.

~  We could do away with one of the current four umpires with the remaining three either taking a third of the ground or following one football each.

Of course, there are some potential problems.  The boundary umpires would need to be supremely fit and vigilant and the goal umpires would be at an increased risk of RSI, which might lead to an increase in the AFL's WorkCover premiums.  These are not insurmountable hurdles.

The technology exists.  The desire exists.  The game needs a boost.  So come on AFL.  Give the fans what they want and that's MULTIBALL!!!

 

*  The trapdoors would obviously need to automatically and immediately close again. Otherwise, the players would be at risk of injury from tripping over them or falling into the hole, which would make the whole idea very silly indeed.

[Guest]

🥳 🎉 YAY MULTIBALL!!! 🎉🥳

You’ve got my vote, DS! Except what would happen if two goals were scored at the exact same time and both needed a score review? Would they be done simultaneously, or, taking into account the umpires’ love of being in the spotlight, one after another? Or what about if it’s a nail-biter and each team goals at the same time? 

[DistrACTION Jackson 10,727]

25 minutes ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

🥳 🎉 YAY MULTIBALL!!! 🎉🥳

You’ve got my vote, DS! Except what would happen if two goals were scored at the exact same time and both needed a score review? Would they be done simultaneously, or, taking into account the umpires’ love of being in the spotlight, one after another? Or what about if it’s a nail-biter and each team goals at the same time? 

The ARC system would actually explode in the event of that happening

[Jibroni 5,057]

I'm sensing a money maker here DStone

[Neil Crompton 5,852]

Haha You’re an [censored]. 
(Why is the word idi ot is a banned word?)

Edited July 31, 2024 by Neil Crompton

[Little Goffy 14,963]

Hmm I can see some issues with implementing this.

We'll definitely need to introduce bumper boundaries which automatically fling the ball back into play whenever it goes out. 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Little Goffy said:

Hmm I can see some issues with implementing this.

We'll definitely need to introduce bumper boundaries which automatically fling the ball back into play whenever it goes out. 

Haha this was my first thought: Demonstone must’ve spent his entire adolescence at the pinnie parlours.

[picket fence 18,181]

you are clearly totally unhinged, but I LUUURVE IT! BRING IT ON!!

[Dingo 1,183]

My English born wife says that when a ball hits the post,the team should get 7 points.

Because it’s quite skilful!

[John Crow Batty 8,892]

1 hour ago, Dingo said:

My English born wife says that when a ball hits the post,the team should get 7 points.

Because it’s quite skilful!

If a player deliberately tried to hit a goal post they will sure miss every time.

[John Crow Batty 8,892]

1 hour ago, Little Goffy said:

Hmm I can see some issues with implementing this.

We'll definitely need to introduce bumper boundaries which automatically fling the ball back into play whenever it goes out. 

I believe the goal face and inside 50 should be modified to something like this

Edited August 1, 2024 by John Crow Batty

[Demonstone 23,569]

7 hours ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

You’ve got my vote, DS! Except what would happen if two goals were scored at the exact same time and both needed a score review? Would they be done simultaneously, or, taking into account the umpires’ love of being in the spotlight, one after another? Or what about if it’s a nail-biter and each team goals at the same time? 

No more score reviews, but you've raised the tantalising prospect of MULTIMULTIBALL!!!!!

Edited August 1, 2024 by Demonstone

[DubDee 26,674]

That way we could kick 3 behinds at the same time!