Jump to content

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Wash your mouth out with caustic soda skinny - shiraz is the king of wines.

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

 
53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Speaking of poor people, we haven't heard from Special Robert for a while.

I suppose he and squirrel spooning wasn't enough and a cold night got them.

Or he might've gone the same way as stuie, curry & beer or dee-luded. Killed off in the dead of night. Our very own murder mystery, if you will.

Who's next?

The butler hiding in the pantry (dc)? The Lady of the House decending the staircase (Maple)? Or the Drunken Uncle fumbling around the cellar for another bottle of shiraz? 

Edited by Moonshadow

1 hour ago, dieter said:

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

No.... that's just you ....on your second bottle ;)

 
2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No that's me after helping Biffen move out of the Gat.

I will need to store some stuff at the Monor for a while.

Some of it is from parts foreign.

Your proximty to the airport could be handy.

Since the closure of the Gat I have decided to increase my business .

Your are included in my new venture.Dont thank me yet.The hard work has only just begun.


Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Edited by Earl Hood

3 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Divorce

8 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Your Earlness,

You wouldn't perchance be the Earl of Sandwich, would you?

Because what you describe sounds like a Faecal Sandwich to me. 

 
14 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Divorce.


Tell her to pack her BDSM gear as well Earl. And a good bottle of vodka. It'll be worth the sacrifice 

Treason is punishable by death in my country.

But go ahead Earl!

You won't be thought of as less than human.

Or anywhere in the vicinity.

 

Quite acceptable to wear your red and blue, I would think.  If you want to wear yellow and brown, wait for incontinence to hit after you move into the nursing home....

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

If it's gold and brown bra and panties, you can safely wear those for a bit of fun without being identified as a Hawks fan. If it's something to wear on the outside and there's no hididing it then, no , not under any circumstances. 

2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

That cannot be a serious question Earl. Of course you cannot wear that under any circumstances. Perhaps donate the scarf on the way to some poor homeless type (I am sure there are a few that can be found in that harbourside place), and if that goes well, do the same with the jumper. Failing that, you could accidentally spill your drink all over it, thus ruining the fabric. You could also say you are carrying it for the Sheedy-type wave, and then just not be able to hang onto it once you have whipped up a good speed (but perhaps aim for the nearest bin whilst doing so, just to be sure). Or maybe just polish your shoes with it before you go, and then use it as a bin liner. But surely Conchita can deal with this for you?


21 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Good heavens Earl! Whatever are you thinking?

The answer to your dilemma is obvious.

It is time to demonstrate just who wears the pants.

Give your missus a jolly good thrashing and take the hirstute Conchita to Sydney.

 

PS. You wont even have to go the football.

16 hours ago, Redleg said:

My interest in this season is being killed off. 

what season is that ?....our Winter......of......:rolleyes:

  • Author

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

2 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

Stay away from them Red.

Read labels...all numbers and gobbledygook... FakeFood !!


On 27/05/2017 at 3:29 PM, Redleg said:

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

29 minutes ago, bjDee said:

Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

3 minutes ago, hemingway said:

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

Thought you must be dead.

............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
  • Author
18 hours ago, hemingway said:

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

That might be the moral but ATM they are working. However I know they are only a short term fix but you often need to get a result early to ensure continuation and they are ok for that.

PS. The caffe latte flavour is great.

20 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

Thought you must be dead.

............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hineni, here I am my Lord.            Acceptance of the inevitable has replaced wisdom Uncle. 


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • NON-MFC: Round 13

    Follow all the action from every Round 13 clash excluding the Dees as the 2025 AFL Premiership Season rolls on. With Melbourne playing in the final match of the round on King's Birthday, all eyes turn to the rest of the competition. Who are you tipping to win? And more importantly, which results best serve the Demons’ finals aspirations? Join the discussion and keep track of the matches that could shape the ladder and impact our run to September.

      • Thanks
    • 25 replies
  • PREVIEW: Collingwood

    Having convincingly defeated last year’s premier and decisively outplayed the runner-up with 8.2 in the final quarter, nothing epitomized the Melbourne Football Club’s performance more than its 1.12 final half, particularly the eight consecutive behinds in the last term, against a struggling St Kilda team in the midst of a dismal losing streak. Just when stability and consistency were anticipated within the Demon ranks, they delivered a quintessential performance marked by instability and ill-conceived decisions, with the most striking aspect being their inaccuracy in kicking for goal, which suggested a lack of preparation (instead of sleeping in their hotel in Alice, were they having a night on the turps) rather than a well-rested team. Let’s face it - this kicking disease that makes them look like raw amateurs is becoming a millstone around the team’s neck.

      • Thanks
    • 1 reply
  • CASEY: Sydney

    The Casey Demons were always expected to emerge victorious in their matchup against the lowly-ranked Sydney Swans at picturesque Tramway Oval, situated in the shadows of the SCG in Moore Park. They dominated the proceedings in the opening two and a half quarters of the game but had little to show for it. This was primarily due to their own sloppy errors in a low-standard game that produced a number of crowded mauls reminiscent of the rugby game popular in old Sydney Town. However, when the Swans tired, as teams often do when they turn games into ugly defensive contests, Casey lifted the standard of its own play and … it was off to the races. Not to nearby Randwick but to a different race with an objective of piling on goal after goal on the way to a mammoth victory. At the 25-minute mark of the third quarter, the Demons held a slender 14-point lead over the Swans, who are ahead on the ladder of only the previous week's opposition, the ailing Bullants. Forty minutes later, they had more than fully compensated for the sloppiness of their earlier play with a decisive 94-point victory, that culminated in a rousing finish which yielded thirteen unanswered goals. Kicks hit their targets, the ball found itself going through the middle and every player made a contribution.

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 1 reply
  • REPORT: St. Kilda

    Hands up if you thought, like me, at half-time in yesterday’s game at TIO Traeger Park, Alice Springs that Melbourne’s disposal around the ground and, in particular, its kicking inaccuracy in front of the goals couldn’t get any worse. Well, it did. And what’s even more damning for the Melbourne Football Club is that the game against St Kilda and its resurgence from the bottomless pit of its miserable start to the season wasn’t just lost through poor conversion for goal but rather in the 15 minutes when the entire team went into a slumber and was mugged by the out-of-form Saints. Their six goals two behinds (one goal less than the Demons managed for the whole game) weaved a path of destruction from which they were unable to recover. Ross Lyon’s astute use of pressure to contain the situation once they had asserted their grip on the game, and Melbourne’s self-destructive wastefulness, assured that outcome. The old adage about the insanity of repeatedly doing something and expecting a different result, was out there. Two years ago, the score line in Melbourne’s loss to the Giants at this same ground was 5 goals 15 behinds - a ratio of one goal per four scoring shots - was perfectly replicated with yesterday’s 7 goals 21 behinds. 
    This has been going on for a while and opens up a number of questions. I’ll put forward a few that come to mind from this performance. The obvious first question is whether the club can find a suitable coach to instruct players on proper kicking techniques or is this a skill that can no longer be developed at this stage of the development of our playing group? Another concern is the team's ability to counter an opponent's dominance during a run on as exemplified by the Saints in the first quarter. Did the Demons underestimate their opponents, considering St Kilda's goals during this period were scored by relatively unknown forwards? Furthermore, given the modest attendance of 6,721 at TIO Traeger Park and the team's poor past performances at this venue, is it prudent to prioritize financial gain over potentially sacrificing valuable premiership points by relinquishing home ground advantage, notwithstanding the cultural significance of the team's connection to the Red Centre? 

      • Thanks
    • 4 replies
  • PREGAME: Collingwood

    After a disappointing loss in Alice Springs the Demons return to the MCG to take on the Magpies in the annual King's Birthday Big Freeze for MND game. Who comes in and who goes out?

      • Thanks
    • 232 replies
  • PODCAST: St. Kilda

    The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 2nd June @ 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we have a chat with former Demon ruckman Jeff White about his YouTube channel First Use where he dissects ruck setups and contests. We'll then discuss the Dees disappointing loss to the Saints in Alice Springs.
    Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show.
    Listen LIVE: https://demonland.com/

      • Thanks
    • 47 replies