The No T$ No B$ Thread

[dieter 3,325]

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Wash your mouth out with caustic soda skinny - shiraz is the king of wines.

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

[Moonshadow 17,677]

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Speaking of poor people, we haven't heard from Special Robert for a while.

I suppose he and squirrel spooning wasn't enough and a cold night got them.

Or he might've gone the same way as stuie, curry & beer or dee-luded. Killed off in the dead of night. Our very own murder mystery, if you will.

Who's next?

The butler hiding in the pantry (dc)? The Lady of the House decending the staircase (Maple)? Or the Drunken Uncle fumbling around the cellar for another bottle of shiraz? 

Edited May 22, 2017 by Moonshadow

[beelzebub 23,383]

1 hour ago, dieter said:

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

No.... that's just you ....on your second bottle

[Bitter but optimistic 22,246]

21 hours ago, dieter said:

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

No that's me after helping Biffen move out of the Gat.

[Biffen 12,947]

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

No that's me after helping Biffen move out of the Gat.

I will need to store some stuff at the Monor for a while.

Some of it is from parts foreign.

Your proximty to the airport could be handy.

Since the closure of the Gat I have decided to increase my business .

Your are included in my new venture.Dont thank me yet.The hard work has only just begun.

[Earl Hood 6,101]

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Edited May 23, 2017 by Earl Hood

[beelzebub 23,383]

3 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Divorce

[bjDee 1,249]

8 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Your Earlness,

You wouldn't perchance be the Earl of Sandwich, would you?

Because what you describe sounds like a Faecal Sandwich to me. 

[dieter 3,325]

14 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Divorce.

[YesitwasaWin4theAges 6,708]

I'd be asking 4 a rusty trombone in return.?

[Moonshadow 17,677]

Tell her to pack her BDSM gear as well Earl. And a good bottle of vodka. It'll be worth the sacrifice 

[Biffen 12,947]

Treason is punishable by death in my country.

But go ahead Earl!

You won't be thought of as less than human.

Or anywhere in the vicinity.

 

[buck_nekkid 6,046]

Quite acceptable to wear your red and blue, I would think.  If you want to wear yellow and brown, wait for incontinence to hit after you move into the nursing home....

[pineapple dee 2,892]

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

If it's gold and brown bra and panties, you can safely wear those for a bit of fun without being identified as a Hawks fan. If it's something to wear on the outside and there's no hididing it then, no , not under any circumstances. 

[Red and Bluebeard 2,100]

2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

That cannot be a serious question Earl. Of course you cannot wear that under any circumstances. Perhaps donate the scarf on the way to some poor homeless type (I am sure there are a few that can be found in that harbourside place), and if that goes well, do the same with the jumper. Failing that, you could accidentally spill your drink all over it, thus ruining the fabric. You could also say you are carrying it for the Sheedy-type wave, and then just not be able to hang onto it once you have whipped up a good speed (but perhaps aim for the nearest bin whilst doing so, just to be sure). Or maybe just polish your shoes with it before you go, and then use it as a bin liner. But surely Conchita can deal with this for you?

[Redleg 41,450]

My interest in this season is being killed off. 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,246]

21 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

Your advice on this is most welcome. 

Good heavens Earl! Whatever are you thinking?

The answer to your dilemma is obvious.

It is time to demonstrate just who wears the pants.

Give your missus a jolly good thrashing and take the hirstute Conchita to Sydney.

 

PS. You wont even have to go the football.

[beelzebub 23,383]

16 hours ago, Redleg said:

My interest in this season is being killed off. 

what season is that ?....our Winter......of......

[Redleg 41,450]

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

[beelzebub 23,383]

2 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

Stay away from them Red.

Read labels...all numbers and gobbledygook... FakeFood !!

[bjDee 1,249]

On 27/05/2017 at 3:29 PM, Redleg said:

Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

Very disappointing to have to report that.

Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

[hemingway 7,631]

29 minutes ago, bjDee said:

Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,246]

3 minutes ago, hemingway said:

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

Thought you must be dead.

............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Redleg 41,450]

18 hours ago, hemingway said:

The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

That might be the moral but ATM they are working. However I know they are only a short term fix but you often need to get a result early to ensure continuation and they are ok for that.

PS. The caffe latte flavour is great.

[hemingway 7,631]

20 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

Thought you must be dead.

............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hineni, here I am my Lord.            Acceptance of the inevitable has replaced wisdom Uncle.